June 16th

[Alexander III]

Purple things

[Buh4Bee]

From what I understand, this is quite a commentary on the meaninglessness of young soldiers fighting i nwar. I feel like I can only touch on the most bare essence of the poem's meaning. But as always the imagines are powerful and I noticed your use of specific words describe your poetic concepts accurately.

I am not a huge fan of poems that comment on society, but this one is clearly well thoughout. The meter is a good structural support, at least from my point of view.

[Alexander III]

I loathe to interfere with personal interpretations, but I feel I must say that the death of young soldiers is not the theme but merely a piece of the poem.

It is about abandonment and abandoning
It is about how we lament solitude while running to its embrace
It is about futility
It is about escape into dungeons we cannot escape back out of
It is about pain

[Buh4Bee]

I tried my best. Thanks for the explanation!!

[Alexander III]

No problem Jersea :)

[blank|verse]

I've been meaning to comment on your recent poems, AIII, but never seem to get round to it - apologies!

This one seems to be a bit more controlled than your other poems which employ long lines, which have all been interesting to read and it's good you're trying to develop your own style.

As a general comment, I would say try and be aware of the rhythms you create when using long lines; there is always a guiding principle to poems which eschew strict feet and metre, and usually that principle relates to how the poems sounds when read aloud and in creating something that sounds rhythmic - hypnotic almost - so it sounds attractive to the listener. I've felt some of your recent poems have worked better than others in this respect.

There's some great imagery in this (I loved the part about the sunflower), as in your others; personally I'm not too keen on the rather archaic tone and content, but it works well and the use of alliteration, something of a Middle-English phenomenon, also reflects this well.

Good stuff; keep writing.