Sky Channel 575

[hillwalker]

SKY CHANNEL 5-7-5

I tuned in to the “Poetry Channel” – Sunday ten past three –
‘Tetrameters at Teatime’ ….. with Rushdie and Jay-Zee.
Salman kept his fans enthralled, his brow as high as ever,
his verses still satanic and his rhymes so clever-clever.
But then he went and spoiled it all by trying his hands at rap.
Sometimes I wonder how he gets away with all that crap.

Carol Ann Duffy* joined Tim Rice**,
presenting “Stanzas on Thin Ice.”
It made me cringe to watch that pair,
like Ginger Rogers and Astaire,
both dressed in spandex, spouting verse
while doing the paso doblé….. worse…..
Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere
“Celebrity Iambs – Get Me Out Of Here”.

A phone-in competition – a free weekend for two –
a 5-star break in Limerick – sounds too good to be true.

At nine ‘The Joys of Haiku’ introduced by Ant and Dec***,
but that was interrupted by a news flash, what the heck!

Just in – Sir Andrew Motion****
- knocked over by a lorry.
His agent says ‘He isn’t hurt.’
The driver says ‘I’m sorry.’

He’s sucked up by a culvert cleaner, what a gruesome fate -
to end up being remembered as a poet a lorry ate.


for the benefit of non-UK readers :

* Carol Ann Duffy – the current British poet laureate, who succeeded ****Sir Andrew Motion
** Sir Time Rice – lyricist who collaborated with Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber (notably on - ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ and ‘Evita’)
*** Ant + Dec – a nauseating pair of humourless cheeky-chappy 'entertainers' who have made a career from presenting cheap and talentless variety shows on ITV

[PrinceMyshkin]

Wonderfully funny, thanks.

[Jesterhead]

You have a poetry channel? we don't have that here, unfortunately.

I liked the poem, it was a funny read.

[hillwalker]

No Jester - we don't have a poetry channel. That was part of the joke, my friend!

Imagining how the tv networks would commercialise it and dumb it down.....

[RaoulDuke]

A brilliant, burnsihed peice of gold, but tarnished (to my eye) by one line. "What the heck" stood out as soon as I read it, I'm not sure exactly what my problem is with it, it just sounds like a very lazy, that'll do, that fits line end to keep the rhyme.

Following that critiscism, I was intending to highlight a line I particualrly enjoyed, but there are just too many! Suffice to say I'm still smiling outwardly at the phrase "a poet a lorry ate".

[hillwalker]

Thanks Prince and Raoul

You're right - 'What the heck?' is not my finest moment

but it's something someone might say while enjoying their favourite tv programme only for it to be suddenly interrupted by a news flash


and yeh..... it rhymes (!?!)

H

[Hawkman]

kanckered, half-cut and nearly blind with fatigue, this made my day. Thank god for irreverant humour. Thanks H form H

[PrinceMyshkin]

kanckered, half-cut and nearly blind with fatigue, this made my day. Thank god for irreverant humour. Thanks H form H

Do you remember the episode of "Fawlty Towers" in which a health inspector rattled off a devastating list of all the deficiencies of the hotel kitchen, following which Basil, with perfect sang-froid, asked: "Everything else okay?"

[Hawkman]

Oh yes, but why bring it up? Please bear in mind my fragile mental condition if there is an obvious reason :)

[qimissung]

:lol: Oh, this is rich! And brilliant. How delightful to have a show devoted to poetry, and sadly, yes, they would immediately muck it up completely.

Excellent, excellent, excellent. Thank you, Hillwalker.

[hillwalker]

Well, H - I hope this morning's hangover from such a dire day is not too unbearable.
Glad I was able to cast a glimmer of light into your dark and tortured mood :-)

and qim - 3 excellents - thank you so much

H