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MANICHAEAN
06-11-2010, 02:13 AM
Examples of some slight misinterpretations of historical events.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenburg selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigerattes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote".The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost.". Then his wife dies & he wrote "Paradise Regained."

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the east and the sun sets in the west. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a throne for 63 years.Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

wessexgirl
06-11-2010, 03:51 AM
:lol::lol::lol:. I take it these are genuine examples. I heard of a lovely one once from a student looking for resources on Martin Luther. It took a while to actually decipher who he meant as he was referred to initially as "you know, that bloke....!!!!!". After narrowing it down a touch as to who he was talking about, the person helping him thought it was probably ML. She thought it best to check that he didn't actually mean Martin Luther King though, as he was often asked about too. Response: "Oh no, he definitely wasn't a king, just an ordinary bloke......." :D

dafydd manton
06-11-2010, 09:30 AM
Napoleon became Emperor by saying "Not tonight Josephine" and William the Conker invented the game with Horse Chestnuts that English children play. Richard the Third liked church bells which is why he was a hunchback and Alfred the Grate invented the coal fire.

MANICHAEAN
06-11-2010, 11:56 PM
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

prendrelemick
06-12-2010, 04:57 AM
Alfred the Grate invented the coal fire.



He also invented the cheese grater. Thanks to his two innovations, cheesy toast became possible.

MANICHAEAN
06-12-2010, 06:53 AM
France was in a very serious state.

The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened.

The Marseillaise was the theme song of the Frenh Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon.

During the Napoleonic Wars the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Spanish gorrilas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks.

Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.

He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she could not bear him any children.

dafydd manton
06-12-2010, 07:23 AM
The French invented the Guillotine to save having to behead people.