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Delta40
06-10-2010, 05:40 PM
her existence is heard
through sounds of being

creaking floor
chopping celery
slamming door
clacking keyboard
slurping coffee
tinkling spoon
rustling grass
drumming fingers

weary leather chair
she is there
hillwalker
06-10-2010, 05:47 PM
Another normal day in the life of the house-poet

very effective piece, and as economical as ever

H
krymsonkyng
06-10-2010, 05:58 PM
The reality of someone is a beautiful thing. This is a wonderfully simple approach to a multi-factious state. I'll apply it to a lover and smile, whether she exists or not. For me, an image of hands drives this, and in turn, moves me... Well done.
PrinceMyshkin
06-10-2010, 06:01 PM
Can one doubt that "she is there" - or that you are there to hear her!
Bar22do
06-10-2010, 06:03 PM
her existence is heard
through sounds of being

creaking floor
chopping celery
slamming door
clacking keyboard
slurping coffee
tinkling spoon
rustling grass
drumming fingers

weary leather chair
she is there

Wow I really really LOVE it. It's so good. Simple as that. Thanks - Bar
Delta40
06-10-2010, 06:20 PM
thank you
Hawkman
06-10-2010, 08:20 PM
I'm with everyone else, this is great.
krymsonkyng
06-11-2010, 12:52 AM
Can one doubt that "she is there" - or that you are there to hear her!

"The ghost of you lingers" -Spoon... There's nothing to suggest she isn't real but my own insecurities.
Delta40
06-11-2010, 03:11 AM
This post is not supposed to be here - but its force was stronger than mine....
Delta40
06-11-2010, 03:11 AM
"The ghost of you lingers" -Spoon... There's nothing to suggest she isn't real but my own insecurities.

very nice!
_Shannon_
06-11-2010, 07:38 AM
I like this one, but "rustling grass" doesn't seem to fit??? <scratches head>
Delta40
06-11-2010, 10:14 AM
you might be right. what would you suggest?
_Shannon_
06-11-2010, 12:01 PM
you might be right. what would you suggest?

You could just take it out??? Or think of another inside the house descriptor.

Personally, I really kind of like how it reads just taking the line out. :)
Delta40
06-11-2010, 06:06 PM
her existence is heard
through sounds of being

creaking floor
chopping celery
slamming door
clacking keyboard
slurping coffee
tinkling spoon
drumming fingers

weary leather chair
she is there
_Shannon_
06-11-2010, 06:41 PM
Personally--I like that--it feels sort of sequential, like you are watching/hearing her with her coffee.
Bar22do
06-11-2010, 06:43 PM
Aha, this too is something! I love both versions.