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mazHur
06-10-2010, 04:51 PM
Day break
I awake
hungry
thirsty
breakfast
not available
I wait
lunch time
lunch not available
water
I drink
keep drinking
comes afternoon
no tea
no snacks
only water
available
I drink
and drink
until dinner time
dinner
not available
only peanuts
a soft drink
cuppa, tea
potato chips
biscuits
toffees
Chiclets
boiled eggs
baked potatoes
mangoes
oranges
grapes
apples
nuts
same things
every day
every night
appetite
finally dies
come food
come breakfast
come lunch
come dinner
appetite gone!
doctor prescribes
medicines
I regain myself
life is normal again


libido rises
rises and falls
keeps repeating
without mate
like a starved man
without food
doctor rubs his palms
no medicine
he says
alternate food
wanking
may keep you alive
but not enough
for a better life
take food
take a mate
if you wanna keep
living a fuller life!!
!!

Delta40
06-10-2010, 05:33 PM
I think the pace of your poem is excellent. It feels as if there is a prescribed tempo for us to beat in life if we are to be content. The repetiveness is very effective and it almost makes me want to slow down and take the day off!

krymsonkyng
06-10-2010, 05:34 PM
Insert lime into coconut, shake it all up. Call me in the morning.