Friendship and Privacy .

[caddy_caddy]

Some one told me that I 'm poor and pathetic because I cannot disclose everything to a friend .
I said that a real friend respects the privacy of his friends .

Well maybe I'm poor and pathetic but not curious and believe that everyone has his / her red lines . I never cross the red lines of my friends or anyone else . There is always things that we don't like to share with anyone . Things we like to keep to ourselves . That should not irritate the others , this is the realm of our ego . I don't believe that real frienship contradicts privacy . A real friend should respect my silence .
What do you think ?:(

[ClaesGefvenberg]

I don't believe that real frienship contradicts privacy . A real friend should respect my silence .
What do you think ?:(I believe that... ...A real friend should respect my silence. Don't worry. You are absolutley right, of course: Revealing everything about yourself and your thoughts is not, repeat not, a prerequisite for being friends. Oh, by the way: A real friend does not call me poor and pathetic when we disagree.

A real friend accepts you for what you are, including any faults or quirks, which is lucky for me: Otherwise I would not have any real friends.

/Claes

[billl]

I agree with both of you, Caddy and Claes.

[loe]

I agree too.
But I would like to add one point: If you want to have friends you must be a friend.
A friendship must be maintained.
If one makes continuously a distanced impression and does not keep in touch with friends, this could have a negative effect on nearly every relationship.
Of course, as you said, a true friend knows and respects privacy but I think it's important to keep the balance between too much privacy and telling completely everything.

Sorry for babbling a bit confused.

Best regards

[caddy_caddy]

I believe that... ...A real friend should respect my silence. Don't worry. You are absolutley right, of course: Revealing everything about yourself and your thoughts is not, repeat not, a prerequisite for being friends. Oh, by the way: A real friend does not call me poor and pathetic when we disagree.

A real friend accepts you for what you are, including any faults or quirks, which is lucky for me: Otherwise I would not have any real friends.

/Claes


I have had bad experiences in the past .I don't want to repeat the same mistake . I know it hurts us to feel that our friend does not trust us . I've learned to trust others but to a limit.

[Lokasenna]

I would suggest that being a friend requires you to be able to listen when someone wants to divulge something to you, but you shouldn't be interrogating them for information. Privacy is part of mutual respect.

[soundofmusic]

Caddy, stay just as you are. Your friend is not a friend if they have to be intrusive and ask you questions that involve your personal life...they are merely trying to excite themselves. Suggest, next time, that they go to a porn site or watch some reality show instead of trying to intimidate you.

[dafydd manton]

Nobody has the right to insult you or undermine your character in any way, especially if they call themselves a friend. My closest friends still don't know one or two things about my past, and I'm not prepared to tell 'em. Iif they ask, that ain't no friend, that's a control freak. Keep on being yourself!!

[Maximilianus]

I agree with the above posters. When you feel a sane affection for a person, you may ask them every once in a while whether they are doing okay, or whether they have any issue they want to talk about, especially if you notice something out of the ordinary in their behavior. However, it shouldn't be done by pressure. If they don't want to talk, their silence must have a reason and should be respected. There are different ways to approach people. You can show someone your interest in them in many ways, but basing conversations on pressure is not good. If your friend is asking in a very demanding tone, they might be after something else and you should be careful. Besides, you must also consider if they are capable of giving away their secrets as much as they demand that you give away yours.

[caddy_caddy]

Thx for you all for your opinions . I've really appreciated them .

Well , Maximilianos when there is " pressure " , it would be more of mmmmmmmm " explotation " than frienship?

[Maximilianus]

An accurate analysis. Many people with a warped mind and a poisoned heart will want to know everything possible about you, in order to have something to use against you when they see fit. Of course it's not always the case, but better be careful.