Butterfly (Villanelle)

[milktea]

five tercets, one quatrain
rhyme scheme: aba aba aba aba aba abaa
required repetition of first and third verses of the initial tercet

http://www.inkboard.net/misc/share/butterfly.txt

Thank you for reading.

[qimissung]

It' touching, and of course the desire to leave a legacy is universal.

[lallison]

nicely written, reminds me a lot The Waking by Theodore Roethke.

http://gawow.com/roethke/poems/104.html

[MorpheusSandman]

I love philosophical poetry and this reminds me a bit of the first sonnet I wrote that was (amongst other things) passing on. Nonetheless, this is another beautiful use of an established form, milktea.

[jaguar12345]

Butterfly, whose life is but a two-paged book; this piece surely is a nostalgic rendering of a short life bound by an eternal burden - the burden of unfulfilled, incomplete death. Nicely done.

[Hawkman]

Good poem, Milktea and deftly handled.

[hillwalker]

A blissful poem. And the deep sentiments are handled so adroitly.

H

[_Shannon_]

Great job with the rhymes and structure!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I can hardly imagine a form you'd undertake and NOT render it as if it were written utterly without restrictions. The sentiment here is NEVER impeded by your observation of the structural requirements. You are always - pardon the cant word - so authentic!

[Alexander III]

I have always loved villanelles, this one is very well done, bravo !

[blank|verse]

Yes, another nicely achieved 'form' poem.

If I'm being harsh, I'd say it's a bit clinical and I can sense the syllable-counting a bit; although it's difficult to avoid that. Here, I don't think the shorter-than-usual tetrameter lines help; that extra foot gives a bit more breathing space to a villanelle.

But still, it's a enjoyable piece and well written.

[J.D. Sparks]

To echo other posters: yes indeed, another difficult form poem adeptly managed. Although it might have benefitted from a few more commas appropriately placed, I think, since the rest of the punctuation was fairly conventional.

It was very professional, though it felt slightly flat to me. Maybe I'm just a sucker for imagery and the like (and hence why I was so enamoured with your sestina), but this was just a bit too philosophical and literal for my taste. Not that I dislike philosophy, I am a philosophy major, but...

Well take my commentary lightly anyways, it was a well done poem.