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kittypaws
06-05-2010, 11:40 PM
My brother-in-law is dying - activity dying....how sad is that? I wrote this strictly from my feelings...if anyone has suggestions to improve it, please let me know as I will be reading it at his funeral in a few days... it is sad when you know someone is leaving and there is nothing you can do to change it...frustrating.....

Kitty



Life is a *****,
And then you die.

When our shell
Grows thin and weary,
And the light disappears
From our eyes.

When you body
Takes over your mind
And decides it is Un-repairable.
All shuts down and dies.

The body our soul travels in,
For years and years;
Has a self destruct mechanism.
That is knowledgeable to the fear.

One that says it has had enough
Even thou the soul fought a great fight.
The shell we were given has faulted
And the veil covers our lifeless eyes.

And the soul shall sail away
From the decay of the flesh
And be re-born in a new way.

All we are and want to be ~
We have a second chance.
And stroke the soul of those
That we have left.

Their pain is deep, cutting
Emptiness fills their spirit.
But life leaves us little to say
Left alone, to find our way.

“Dry your tearing eyes,
Don’t miss me dear.
I am always near
Nearer then you think.”

Life is a *****
And then you die
Have you ever asked yourself?
Why?

It is to bring pleasure,
Gifts, beginnings.
To find pain and anguish
To live. Ahh, life is a *****!

So another soul has floated to there;
To return to live again.
Dry your tears, I am near
And still holding your hand.


Amanda Curtis

Maryd.
06-05-2010, 11:44 PM
Wow... Is this so true, or what? Good one.

Bar22do
06-06-2010, 03:48 PM
Well, if it's true than how sad... pls see my pm. love and courage - Bar

Delta40
06-06-2010, 06:24 PM
I love your torrent of grief and altered pace. This is a beautful piece written straight from the heart. Its authenticity is what moves me so much.

I am sorry about your brother-in-law

MorpheusSandman
06-06-2010, 10:51 PM
A reader can definitely sense the emotion behind the piece. I would recommend deciding on what you want the voice/tone to be and sticking with it. The more vulgar, straight-forward, or "down home" (however you want to phrase it) philosophy of "life is a b**** and then you die" conflicts with the more elegant and "high" style of the rest.