Room 101

[Scheherazade]

Tell us what would be in your Room 101 and why... but only after explaining the person above you why their choice should not go to that infamous room.


My choice:

Sautéed onions: I find their slimey softness revolting.

[sixsmith]

The Ancient Egyptians worshipped onions, believing that their spherical shape and concentric rings symbolized eternal life. Onions were even used in Egyptian burials, as evidenced by onion traces being found in the eye sockets of Ramesses IV. However it is prepared, the onion must be respected Scher!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onion


Mine?

A collection of Scher's favourite music on endless repeat.

[OrphanPip]

Haha, occasionally she picks some good classics, and if I'm not mistaken she likes Velvet Underground doesn't she?

For me, the Pope, we would have absolutely nothing to talk about.

Edit: I also love that this game just assumes everyone has read 1984 lol.

[Jazz_]

Sometimes silence is better than relentless noise...

For me, big hairy spiders :eek:

[Tarvaa]

they perform essential roles maintaining the ecosystem (sorry, science-like reason)

alarm clocks

[cgrillo]

Plato is said to have had an early version of the alarm clock (a water clock) that woke him up when he had to give his lectures. If that did not exist, he would've overslept, and Plato's influence on philosophy would be nonexistent. Thus, alarm clocks are an important part of history.

I would choose skim milk.

[Scheherazade]

I would choose skim milk.I am utterly shocked and dismayed! This is the only form of milk I can drink because the full fat milk's heaviness makes me squirm.

What's more, skimmed milk has all the goodness of the milk without the calories!

I would like to send automatic cars to the Room 101!

[Lokasenna]

But automatic cars are excellent for the elderly, or people who get confused with gears! They may not be as efficient (or as fun to drive), but they are an easier ride!

As for me, my Room 101 would probably contain Piers Morgan. Now let's see someone try and compliment him!

[Gerda13]

Well, he is a good journalist...

As for mine,in it would be head of Akito Sohma chopped off her body...

[stephofthenight]

Haha, occasionally she picks some good classics, and if I'm not mistaken she likes Velvet Underground doesn't she?

For me, the Pope, we would have absolutely nothing to talk about.

Edit: I also love that this game just assumes everyone has read 1984 lol.

Well for all American students you have to read it your senior year of highschool....

[Lokasenna]

Well, he is a good journalist...


HIGHLY debatable, I think!:lol:

[Scheherazade]

As for mine,in it would be head of Akito Sohma chopped off her body...I had no idea who Akito Sohma was so had to Wiki... And it seems mighty unfair to send someone to Room 101 without knowing them well enough.

Next, I would like to send this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy5sGcNLD4c&feature=related) to the Room 101.

[Lokasenna]

We should keep it out of Room 101 because it makes all other songs sound better by comparison!

Hmm... I think I'll consign the French to Room 101 next...

[MarkBastable]

Hmm... I think I'll consign the French to Room 101 next...

We should keep the French because they are responsible for wine and cheese.

My nomination would be honey. Disgusting stuff. Smells horrible, tastes worse. And - you may not know this - apparently it comes out of beetles' bums or something.

[Scheherazade]

My nomination would be honey. Disgusting stuff. Smells horrible, tastes worse. And - you may not know this - apparently it comes out of beetles' bums or something.The bees chew and spit it out actually, I think... And according to this logic, we should not be entertaining the idea of having eggs either.

Honey is natural (as opposed to jam and marmalade) and tastes great with toast/pan cakes! And ideal as a torture device too. What more can we ask from a gold coloured, sticky liquid?

(Though I agree with you regarding the smell... Honey and milk scented soaps make me seriously nauseous.)

Next...

Books written by Virginia Woolf!

[papayahed]

Books written by Virginia Woolf!

Shoot, can't argue with that one..

[qimissung]

But then we wouldn't have books by Virgina Woolf and what kind of world would that be? I would like to consign politicians to room 101. And good riddance to them.

[Lokasenna]

But without the politicians, who would we have to hate and blame for our miserable existences? They're far too much fun to be rid of.

I'll consign those dreadful automated voice-robot things that most companies force you to deal with when you phone them up, rather than letting you speak to an actual human being.

[Scheherazade]

But then we wouldn't have books by Virgina Woolf and what kind of world would that be? A happy one?

:p
I'll consign those dreadful automated voice-robot things that most companies force you to deal with when you phone them up, rather than letting you speak to an actual human being.But, but, but... But then we would have to deal with humanbeings.

I am sending the melon (but NOT the watermelon) to the Room 101.

[Gerda13]

What? I've read them and theyr'e wonderful.

As for mine, it would be O'Brien...you get the picture

He with his "healing" a.k.a brainwashing *shrinks away from O'Brien*

[Emil Miller]

What? I've read them and theyr'e wonderful.

As for mine, it would be O'Brien...you get the picture

He with his "healing" a.k.a brainwashing *shrinks away from O'Brien*

I know Flan O'Brien writes detective stories but surely that shouldn't condemn him to Room 101.

I think a much more worthy contender would be the spectre that haunts the LitNet forum, the one and only (thank God) Harry Potter.

[dafydd manton]

Odd how, almost exactly one hour after this post, and during the time when there are more people on here than any other, and nobody has suggested that HP should not go in to Room 101! Hmmmm!

[Gerda13]

But his mother is..um,was amazing!

And I mean O'Brien as character,not writer...

[dafydd manton]

So we'll chuck her in Room 101! Simples!

[Emil Miller]

But his mother is..um,was amazing!

And I mean O'Brien as character,not writer...

Did Harry Potter have a mother? I don't think he had a father given the amount of waffle he is responsible for on the forum.
However, if you are referring to O'Brien in 1984, even he shouldn't be put in a conference room at the BBC which Orwell is said to have based Room 101 on.
Brainwashing? O'Brien was an amateur in comparison.

If Potter is not to be sent to there, how about the teenage vampire from the Twilight series which has similarly blighted these hallowed threads.

[dafydd manton]

Agreed. Just keep your hands off Winnie-The-Pooh!

[Scheherazade]

A reminder of the rules of the game:
Tell us what would be in your Room 101 and why... but only after explaining the person above you why their choice should not go to that infamous room.Next:

I am sending the melon (but NOT the watermelon) to the Room 101.

[dafydd manton]

But were it not for melons, eaten in slices, small boys would never get the insides of their ears cleaned.

The Book Of Trade Unionists Vocabulary (Revised)

[The Comedian]

We should save that book for "aggressive interrogation tactics".

You know what should be pasted all over Room 101?: the word "learner".

[Whifflingpin]

But without learners there'd be no campus novels.

Speaking of which, campus novels.

[dafydd manton]

Surely, without campus novels, we would have no yardstick to make every other written work, including car repair manuals and supermarket receipts, look half way reasonable.

People who drive too close to your back bumper.

[Scheherazade]

I particularly rejoice when people drive in that manner because then I know that they can see me waving at them!

Next:

Annual appraisals.

[The Comedian]

But, but without annual appraisals when would you hear such insights as this? "Dear Professor Scheherazade: there are some things you are good at and some things you are not good at. Keep doing the things you are good at and improve the things that you are not good at. See you next year!"

Next: ear buds/head phones -- to room 101 with you! You make people deaf and look dumb.

[Lokasenna]

But then I would actually have to talk to people on public transport! Think about all the nutters on buses and trains (which is where all the land's lunatics seem to congregate) you'd have to deal with if you couldn't block them out with some tasteful music!

The Inland Revenue - evil incarnate, no?

[Whifflingpin]

I met my wife because she worked at the Inland Revenue, so no - or on second thoughts - no, definitely, um maybe, not.

bacon with maple syrup for breakfast

[dafydd manton]

But without bacon and maple syrup, all those who wish to encourage the remainder of us to become vegetarians would have no foul combination with which to try and make us eschew the dreaded roast/fried/smoked/boiled/fricaseed pig.

Geography teachers

[MarkBastable]

Geography teachers


In pursuit of inventive thought, I think we should outlaw the defence of 'without this we'd have nothing by which to calibrate bad' argument. That's applicable to anything, and is no fun at all.


However...man....geography teachers.


My defence of geography teachers would be that I once had one who I suspected wore stockings. To be honest, the suspicion of stockings was not unique amongst my teachers. What clinched it was that this teacher was female.

My nomination: Frank Sinatra, the over-rated, self-regarding, one-trick nitwit.

[dafydd manton]

Without Frank, or Frankie-Baby to those in the know, the Mafia would have had to listen to Louis Armstrong, who wasn't a member, or Ella Fiztgerald who was actually the Godfather.

On the same kind of theme, though, my nomination...The Beatles.

[MarkBastable]

On the same kind of theme, though, my nomination...The Beatles.


That's just silly. For a rebuttal, or at least a prejudice, I refer you to my page (http://www.myspace.com/markbastable).


If we're having people shot, though - Ayn Rand.

[dafydd manton]

That's just silly. For a rebuttal, or at least a prejudice, I refer you to my page (http://www.myspace.com/markbastable).


If we're having people shot, though - Ayn Rand.

Arr, yes, well, opinion is a wonderful thing. In my 'umble opinion there were far more innovative bands, such as the Kinks, Rolling Stones, Moody Blues. Hank Marvin (The Shadows) set the standard for all rock guitarists, Elvis was a pioneer, so whilst many think that the Beatles were the be-all and end-all, it never really struck a chord with me. Except, Abbey Road, I have to say, for which I can find no logical reason. I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it!

[Scheherazade]

R e m i n d e r

Discussion of current politics is not allowed on this Forum.

Posts containing such remarks (have been and) will be removed with furhter warning.

[dafydd manton]

Oh 'eck, where does that leave us now? Fair enough.....

Crowded Tube Trains

[Scheherazade]

Oh 'eck, where does that leave us now?I think we can start by saying why Ayn Rand should not be 101-ed.

If we're having people shot, though - Ayn Rand.

[dafydd manton]

Question is, would doing so display any objectivity! Room 101, by all means, but shootin' people - well, it's just not cricket, what? Dashed poor show!

Because if Ayn Rand is not 101-ed, there is still somebody whose name is more difficult to spell than mine!


And so, back to.....Crowded Tube Trains!

[Scheherazade]

Question is, would doing so display any objectivity! Room 101, by all means, but shootin' people - well, it's just not cricket, what? Dashed poor show! *blinks*

Crowded tube trains feel very warm and cozy during winter months... And a free campaigning tool for deodorants during summer months.


Next: Picked onions! What is that about??? Just thought of it makes me retch.

[dafydd manton]

I should imagine that if you look hard enough you will find some crackpot organisation that tells you that retching is GOOD for you! Feel the burn? Imagine all the toxins you're getting rid of! It keeps the old oesophagus supple, and it's cheaper than colonic irrigation. Less undignified, too, if I'm any judge. Yayy for onion-induced retching!


TV commercials

[Emil Miller]

I should imagine that if you look hard enough you will find some crackpot organisation that tells you that retching is GOOD for you! Feel the burn? Imagine all the toxins you're getting rid of! It keeps the old oesophagus supple, and it's cheaper than colonic irrigation. Less undignified, too, if I'm any judge. Yayy for onion-induced retching!


TV commercials

But without TV commercials, business would suffer.


TV

[dafydd manton]

But, without TV life would be.........better? I can find no logical reason why the vast majority of TV shouldn't be disposed of, with the possible exception of the programme Room 101, which is our role model.

Barometers

[Scheherazade]

Barometers are excellent; at first glance they are like clocks but much more confusing (I have never learnt how to "read" one).

Next:

Kate Bush

[dafydd manton]

How else would you get the name Wuthering Heights to the masses, who haven't a clue about Emily Bronte?

Emergency vehicle sirens in the middle of the night?

[MarkBastable]

Emergency vehicle sirens in the middle of the night?

Were it not for an emergency vehicle siren in the middle of the night in Manhattan, Lennon would not have written the most innovative single in the history of popular music - to wit, I Am the Walrus (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnpil_pRUiw). (Listen to the opening bars.)


I'll nominate sushi - which (under uxorial pressure) I have trained myself to eat, but which I still consider not food, but a substitute for food - like cigarettes or biting your nails.

[dafydd manton]

I knew not about Lennon, so bow to your superior education!!!

Sushi. The very thought of eating any kind of fish, raw or otherwise, fills me with revulsion, and if it is to be deposited in Room 101, it will probably have been reheated to 98.4 degrees Fahrenheit.

Calamari

[Scheherazade]

I could not possibly let anything fish go to Room 101 as they are all very tasty.

Next:

Caramel! All that ooziness... *shudders*

[dafydd manton]

On the other hand, were it not for caramel, orthodontists would have less to do. Anyway, I like the stuff.

Badly behaved children

[The Comedian]

But if we got rid of them, there wouldn't be any children at all!

Picky eaters -- quit your whining and get thee to room 101. There'll be some tasty surprises in there. *evil grin*

[dafydd manton]

We could always eat the children. Few peas, bit of onion gravy, chips, sounds great! That'd stop 'em being picky.


Those stupid walking poles that look like somebody has lost their skis.

[Scheherazade]

We cannot possibly send them to Room 101 as they act as excellent weapons in cases of Ninja attacks.

Next:

Russel Brand.

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, can't argue. All for it. Best idea going. If I want peurile, childish and poorly formulated humour, I've got a perfect good grandson, thank you.

Oh, go on, let's put Jonathan Woss in with him!

[JuniperWoolf]

But... um... nope, can't think of anything. That guy is a douche.

Room 101 would look exactly like the inside of a WalMart.

[MarkBastable]

I'll defend Jonathan Ross. All the people he upsets are exactly the people I think ought to be upset, often and thoroughly.


I nominate Stevie Bloody-Awful-Bleating-Transvestite-Dwarf Nicks. (Very few people are aware that this is actually her full given name.)

[sixsmith]

I'll defend Jonathan Ross. All the people he upsets are exactly the people I think ought to be upset, often and thoroughly.


I nominate Stevie Bloody-Awful-Bleating-Transvestite-Dwarf Nicks. (Very few people are aware that this is actually her full given name.)

Landslide is a great song.

Michel Foucault

[dafydd manton]

But you can't - how could we lose a name with so many double entendres and cheap jokes?

Best Before dates on bottled water. (It took 6 million years to get this far, why the heck does it need to be consumed by next Friday?)

[Scheherazade]

It is all good; it encourages people to consume more water and not get dehyrated.

Next: Royal icing.

[dafydd manton]

But that would only leaves us that disgusting fudge stuff or butter icing, and the figures on the top of wedding cakes would sink in, so you'd have a bride and groom with no legs.

Landlords that call you "Sir", or, worse yet, "Friend".

[Scheherazade]

People often call me "Sir" so I really don't mind that...

Next:

Artificial flowers and plants.

[The Comedian]

But. . .just think of the thousands and thousands of green thumbs that would turn black if that were to happen!

Weak coffee: to Room 101 with you!

[dafydd manton]

Without weak coffee how would you be able to tell the English at a glance?

Weak Beer

[JuniperWoolf]

If Americans didn't have weak beer, Canadians would be short of one of their main bragging-rights.

The phrase "nature vs. nurture," get thee to Room 101!

[dafydd manton]

But it's snappy, clear, concise, witty and helps people graps a concept. Where would we be without such genius? How we deploy our powers of reason? What else could we use to justify any particular course of action we choose to take? This phrase has virtuosity!

Calling various people "King of.....", when they patently obviously aren't.

[Scheherazade]

Declaring everyone king of one thing or the other helps create an atmosphere of equality in the society.

Next: Flared trousers.

[dafydd manton]

The only thing is, if you've got dumpy little legs like I have, they give you a certain, dare I say, flair!

Grumpy bus drivers

[Scheherazade]

I think bus drivers need to be grumpy if we want to control the number of people who are using public transportation services.

Next: Singers under the age of 20.

[MarkBastable]

Last week I went to see a group of about sixty singers under the age of twenty - they were all five. And they were great, although a couple of them burst into tears and one threw up during the performance.


Abba (who have the opposite effect - they cause the audience to throw up during the performance).

[Scheherazade]

Abba (who have the opposite effect - they cause the audience to throw up during the performance).ABBA helps their audience relax and have fun... That is, those who are able to relax and have fun!

(And I believe the visuals are not so bad).

Next: Nativity plays at schools.

[MarkBastable]

ABBA helps their audience relax and have fun... That is, those who are able to relax and have fun!


I'd suggest cocaine. It's less addictive and nothing like as harmful and doesn't involve singing the worst lyrics since 'Wooden Heart'.


Nativity plays are so much a part of the fabric of childhood that you may as well just do away with shepherd's pie or grazed knees or falling asleep on your dad's lap.


IKEA

[qimissung]

Without IKEA what would short people do for furniture?

Next: Any TV show with the word "extreme" or any variation therof, in the title

[dafydd manton]

But withoug extreme TV shows, which are usually dull and boring, how would we know which are the dull and boring ones to avoid.

Anybody with an animal's name, i.e Tiger Woods or Bear Grylls (Which sounds like a barbecue!)

[Pendragon]

Wolfman Jack sounds reasonable but also sounds highly dangerous, perhaps that is why people choose these nom de plumes?

Next: Anyone with a color for a name... Ex: Red Skeleton

[dafydd manton]

Oh, I'm supposed to disagree, but I can;t bring myself to do it?

Fruit in a name (Blind Lemon Jackson)? (Slightly Hard Of Hearing Kumquat Smith)

[MarkBastable]

That would deny us the endless entertainment provided by the antics of Peaches Geldof.


Carrots

[dafydd manton]

But (he spluttered), without carrots, what would Bugs Bunny do?? Or Muffin the Mule??

football pundits

[Pendragon]

But isn't football pundits a major part of the game whether you mean American Football or Soccer, even Rugby?

Internet Web Sites?

[qimissung]

But...but (she sputtered) without internet web sites we would no longer have lit-net!

the color (and that's being polite) beige

[dafydd manton]

Without beige, how would we know if somebody has reached that age where they go "Oh look, a beige cardigan. How very attractive, much like the flat cap and the tartan slippers". Thus, you would not know at what point to start looking round a few care homes.

Knitted hats

[papayahed]

But what would grandmothers do if they didn't have hats to knit??


fried catfish.

[dafydd manton]

If we hadn't got fried catfish, what would we feed the cat on? Have you seen the price of tinned Moggynosh?

Like, people who like use the word "like" as like punctuation. Like.

[Scheherazade]

They provide a good example on how not to speak so they stay!

Next: Kesha, the singer.

[dafydd manton]

Without Kesha, the old joke about "a silent 'c', as in 'rap' dies,but if you put her in, I promise not to look.

Sports commentators who talk about "when I was a player".

[Scheherazade]

They are helping educate those public members who do not know their sports history well.

Next: People who drink themselves stupid.

[dafydd manton]

For so long as they persist, along with smokers, they are paying taxes that I don't have to. So much the better.

People who recount stories by saying "so I turned round and said.....". They did not gyrate. They are liars. To Room 101, forthwith!

[Scheherazade]

I think that is a lie I can put up with... On the lie-o-meter, I don't think that would score very high.

Next: White trousers. They make me cringe; I won't wear them and cannot stand it when others wear them (men or women).

[dafydd manton]

But without white trousers, how would we recognise cricket players, messy eaters, the incontinent or people with no taste whatsoever!! And some people fill all 4 criteria!

Trailers for films with voices 4 octaves below that which is normal

[Scheherazade]

They help drown the chatter of other people sitting around you (I don't have problem with people chattering but I really don't want to be listening to them while waiting for the movie).

Next: People who touch others while chatting (male/female).

PS: No, I am not suggesting that they should touch themselves instead.

[MarkBastable]

Next: People who touch others while chatting (male/female).


Do you mean people who touch people other than those they are chatting to at the time (which would be rather rude, but pretty impressive)? Or do you mean people who touch the people to whom they are chatting (the appropriateness of which would depend on what they were chatting about, I'd've thought)?


Next candidate:

People who say, "Actually, I like dogs more than I like most human beings.' I mean, what kind of comparison is that? It's like saying, "Actually, I like pesto sauce more than I like most chapels." Or "Actually, I like railway lines more than I like most of the songs of Joni Mitchell." It tells us nothing at all, except perhaps that most people would probably consider themselves lucky that you're spending so much time with dogs.

[dafydd manton]

Are you then suggesting smearing the dog with pesto sauce and tying it to the railway lines? Because frankly, if you are, I want to see that. After which the owner would be best either put into Room 101 themselves, or tied to the railway. (And Virgin trains would still miss!)

Virgin Trains

[MarkBastable]

Virgin Trains


Actually, First Class on Virgin trains is pretty good. They keep giving you champagne.



Cricket: it manages to be simultaneously boring and dangerous - a combination you wouldn't have thought possible in a sport.

[dafydd manton]

Ah, yes, but, without cricket, what would elderly gentlemen like myself who can't be bothered to play golf and find the idea of dangling worms in rivers abhorrent do to get away from the wife?

14 different choices of peanut butter.

[qimissung]

Hey! Peanut butter is awesome!

Artificial flowers. Game over! :D

[dafydd manton]

Artificial flowers are wonderful, they save digging, planting, pruning, dead-heading, mulching, spraying, cultivating, all occupations that keep you away from Litnet.

People who use green ink for writing letters

[MarkBastable]

Green ink is an invaluable element in the conduct of criminal investigation. As any forensic scientist will tell you, once you've identified the writer who uses the green ink, you're only a search-warrant away from the dismembered prostitutes stashed in the basement freezer.


Knitwear - God's way of telling you you're dead inside.

[dafydd manton]

Were it not for knitwear, how would tell old people from the back, prior to dismembering them in mistake for prostitutes?

Sandals. Why are they nearly always worn by people with repulsive feet, or who carry religious banners through town?

[qimissung]

But they are so comfy in the summer time!

Patchouli. It. does. not. smell. good.

[dafydd manton]

It's got to smell better than kippers, or pickled beetroot, so it stays.

Elton John's wigs.

[Scheherazade]

I think they make otherwise less-than-ordinary looking man slightly interesting so "They stay," I say!

Next: "South Park" (cartoon)!

[JuniperWoolf]

Hey, I resent that! Once you get through (but not literally) the vomit, feces, sexual fluids and cat urine it's actually a VERY intelligent cartoon.

Next: people who get offended at tee-shirt slogans.

[MarkBastable]

Hey, I resent that! Once you get through (but not literally) the vomit, feces, sexual fluids and cat urine it's actually a VERY intelligent cartoon.

Next: people who get offended at tee-shirt slogans.


That's right, you know. South Park is intelligent, creative and completely fearless. It's close to genius - unless, of course, it is intrinsic to genius to be polite, which South Park certainly isn't.


Not so much offended by tee-shirts as wearied. Once you've seen the slogan and laughed (if you're going to) that's as good as it's going to get. The next time your friend shows up in the same shirt, it's like them telling you the same anecdote again. And again.


Sex and the City - not groundbreaking, not funny, and deeply reactionary. Verne and Shirley with clit jokes.

[Scheherazade]

Re. "South Park": It reminds me of little school boys who make farting sounds or call each other "poo heads" and fall about laughing. Being intelligent and funny without resorting to swearing, vomiting and all that is more challenging... For some, of course. Our members have no problem with that!
Not so much offended by tee-shirts as wearied. Once you've seen the slogan and laughed (if you're going to) that's as good as it's going to get. The next time your friend shows up in the same shirt, it's like them telling you the same anecdote again. And again.As to why "people who get offended at tee-shirt slogans" should not go to Room 101?
Sex and the City - not groundbreaking, not funny, and deeply reactionary. Verne and Shirley with clit jokes.I think the show provides a good example of "what not to wear" (fashionable or not) so it stays!

Next: Neighbours who vacuum their houses before 8 am!

[JuniperWoolf]

Re. "South Park": It reminds me of little school boys who make farting sounds or call each other "poo heads" and fall about laughing.

Nah, the first thing that they went after was censorship, so they came up with every vile thing that they could think of and pushed it on their network (and you should see the things that they got away with... just describing them would get me banned from litnet). Their philosophy is to "slaughter every sacred cow," which is fantastic. You've got to really watch it if you want to catch it's brilliance, that show has taught me more than any book.


Next: Neighbours who vacuum their houses before 8 am!

Aww, you can't hear it from your room if you close the window and turn on a fan!

Next: people who ask you what your favourite colour is, then if you say "black," they respond with "actually, black isn't a colour - it's a shade." Thanks, professor.

[Scheherazade]

that show has taught me more than any book.
Depends on what you are interested in learning, I guess... Or what you have been reading.
Next: people who ask you what your favourite colour is, then if you say "black," they respond with "actually, black isn't a colour - it's a shade." Thanks, professor.Since they are technically telling the truth, I cannot agree to their banishment.

Next:

On the Road by Kerouac (not because it is such a bad book but because it is causing more disagreements and discussion that it is worth).

[dafydd manton]

Here, hold on, if we put that in the Room, what are the rest of us going to talk about on a rainy Wednesday night when there's nothing on TV, you've read everything in the house bar the label on a tin of baked beans and everybody else on the Forum is busy writing poetry?


People who, when describing something say "sort of" all the time. "It's a sort of vase"

No it isn't, it IS a flamin' vase, not sort of one!!!!!!!!!

[MarkBastable]

I dunno, taff. I think you're being kinda judgemental there.



People who bang on and on about the superiority of Macs, and who justify that evangelism by suggesting that they're free-thinking radicals who refuse to kowtow to the global conspiracy that is Microsoft, but who are actually more like the zombified zealots in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, constantly insisting that if you'd only acquiesce and join the swarm you'd be happy, happy, happy as a tiny part of the hive-mind of a million identical Macolytes.

[dafydd manton]

I dunno, taff. I think you're being kinda judgemental there.



People who bang on and on about the superiority of Macs, and who justify that evangelism by suggesting that they're free-thinking radicals who refuse to kowtow to the global conspiracy that is Microsoft, but who are actually more like the zombified zealots in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, constantly insisting that if you'd only acquiesce and join the swarm you'd be happy, happy, happy as a tiny part of the hive-mind of a million identical Macolytes.

Those who like say sort of are like those people who like keep saying like, like, which most like people don't like, like. Being kinda like judgemnetal, like, isn't like convincing enough, like, so they've like, gone in, like, like it or not!

Mac Zealots? Do you really think I'm going to defend them? I'll open the door, you push. Like.

People with a midriff like two tons of tripe wearing cropped tops and showing vast acreages of flabby white skin.

[Scheherazade]

People with a midriff like two tons of tripe wearing cropped tops and showing vast acreages of flabby white skin. Ugghh... I am not sure I can find something to save that... I don't wanna see anybody's midriff, regardless of the tonnage but, for the sake of the game, I will say the amount of material required to cover such midriff can be better used elsewhere; for example, making clothes for little orphans in Afghanistan or Kazakhstan.

Next: People who back into the road without checking the oncoming traffic (was having an accident this morning :-/).

[dafydd manton]

But the Road Traffic Act 1927 Par 3 Sub-para VI, Sect III sub-scet XIV states that people reversing out in front of you is to keep your reflexes in top condition.

Indigestion!

[Hawkman]

Look, if you didn't have indegestion then you would digest all that fatty food and end up with a midrif that looked like two tones of tripe and you would then be required by Law to display it publicly under a cropped top!

There's only one indesputable worst thing in the world.

It's... It's... Wait for it... Baz Luhrmann's, "Romeo and Juliet", Tara!

[dafydd manton]

Look, everybody knows that Luhrmann is a manic depressive, throw his seminal work in Room 101, and he might well do something regrettable, and it'd all be your fault. You're too young to spend your life ridden with guilt! Live! Feel the wind of this giant continent blowing through your hair. Go wes..... Oh, sorry. Got carried away.

Football commentators that scream when a goal is nearly scored, as if it mattered!

[Hawkman]

Oh come on! If they didn't scream they wouldn't wake the Goalie up.

Smug, self-important journalists who think they are the arbiters of ulimate truth and public opinion.

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, but it's the system that is wrong. If we got it right, and didn't condemn them to Room 101, maybe the troops could use them for target practice.

Agony Aunts.

[Hawkman]

No. With the Agony Aunts in room 101 the masochists would be deprived of their tough love.

Traffic Wardens

[dafydd manton]

You must consult the Highway Code. Traffic Wardens have the yellow band around their hats, so that you don't park on their heads. Also, who else could we vent our spleen against.

People who call themselves teachers, yet merely drone and drone and drone from a book, and make no attempt to stimulate the mind!

[Scheherazade]

People who call themselves teachers, yet merely drone and drone and drone from a book, and make no attempt to stimulate the mind!Hey! There is nothing wrong with droning and droning and droning from a book!

Next:

Grown-ups who throw tantrums like toddlers over small issues.

[Hawkman]

What's the point of throwing a tantrum over a toddler? surely it's better to thorw the toddler.

Speed bumps

[MarkBastable]

Will Self: Were it not for speed bumps I'd have no sex life at all.



Morris Dancers

[Hawkman]

If it weren't for Morris Men there would be more accordian players. The Morris Dancers play an important role in illustrating the appauling consequences of playing accordians.

Will Self

[dafydd manton]

if we put Will Self in ......we'd have nobody else to point out that their surname is almost entirely apposite.

Little welly-boots for doggies.

[Scheherazade]

Little welly-boots for doggies.Those can never go to the Room 101. I have got small feet so the only booties that will fit me are from that range!

Next:

Onion flavoured crisps! Just the smell is more than enough to make me feel nauseous.

[papayahed]

How else am I going to scare away bad dates???


spiders

[qimissung]

No, 'cause they're going to perdition instead.

carnations, the world's ugliest flower, plus they smell funny

[Scheherazade]

carnations, the world's ugliest flower, plus they smell funnyCarnations are not ugly! They are delicately cut and come in many vibrant colours.

Next:

Poorly written (bad) poetry (and please don't say that it helps us appreciate well-written poetry more or that we can use it as a measure for better poetry. We really need a good, solid reason to keep this one out of the 101).

[dafydd manton]

Because it gives me something to do, and keeps me away from a life of drug-crazed crime!

Country and Western singers.

[Scheherazade]

Because it gives me something to do, and keeps me away from a life of drug-crazed crime!Not sure if you are fiishing for compliments here, Dafy, but your poetry is not "poorly written".
Country and Western singers.What is the use? Even if the singers are gone, the music will stay remain.

Next:

Weekend rain! I have learnt to live with rain but wouldn't it be nice if it were limited to Monday-Friday and we had sun guaranteed on weekends?

[dafydd manton]

Not sure if you are fiishing for compliments here, Dafy, but your poetry is not "poorly written".What is the use? Even if the singers are gone, the music will stay remain.

Next:

Weekend rain! I have learnt to live with rain but wouldn't it be nice if it were limited to Monday-Friday and we had sun guaranteed on weekends?

Thanks, Scher - I wasn't!! I'll never think of my stuff as anything other than doggerel verse!!

[Tarvaa]

Weekend rain allows us to cancel things we don't want to do on the weekend...a complete ban would be regretable.

Next:- mosquitoes!

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, got to stay. Millions of people in the pharmaceutical industry make millions of pounds/dollars from mosquit repellants that don't work, and the drugs for such things as malaria or beri-beri, and we'd hate them to starve.

Concrete!

[Hawkman]

I'm sorry, but as a classicist I must object on the grounds that most of Ancient Rome is made out of concrete: the Flavian Amphitheatre, the Pantheon, etc. etc.

Put Rhubarb in room 101

[dafydd manton]

But I love rhubarb crumble, rhubarb pie, I was even taken once from Germany to France for a rhubarb tart. Can't remember her name.

People who talk about their operations in gory detail.

[Paulclem]

But surely that's how we all get esoteric medical information, and it makes great gossip.

Films with Tom Cruise ha ha!

[dafydd manton]

But surely, he won the Battle of Britain - or was that John Wayne...or Audi Murphy.....or Rock Hudson....or

Weak beer.

[EJMathews]

Beer must have fizz and flavor, we can not, no we must not allow weak beer to stand, under any circumstances. Who's with me?

Vine ripened, home grown tomatoes!

[Hawkman]

You cannot be serious! Without them we'd have nothing to throw at the bad poets and country and western singers who can't get into room 101. We'd have to use half-bricks and that might be undesireable as a murder by stoning charge looks bad on your CV.

Actually put CV's into room 101

[dafydd manton]

Call them Rez-yoo-mays, and I'm there with you! However, it is the only time I get to show off and say that I went to the same school as P G Wodehouse, although at slightly different times!

Those stupid shoes that girls wear, that are flip-flops, with an ankle piece like a boot!

[Hawkman]

Sadly, owing to the design, once fitted these shoes are almost impossible to remove. This means that the girls would have to go into room 101 too. Unfortunately, as the girls who wear these shoes are invariably the better looking ones, the result would be a desperate shortage of good looking girls. The fact that they are almost certainly the less intelligent ones is no recompense. Good looking girls don't need to be bright, they just need to be able to work out how to use your credit card.

One thing which certainly deserves a place in Room 101, Brussels Sprouts. Go on, I dare you to keep 'em out.

[EJMathews]

Um, I don't mind eating Brussels Sprouts, but they stink to high heaven. Soon everything in Room 101 will smell like stink and then no one will go into the room and that wouldn't be right.

Cucumbers, there now that's a fruit pretending to be a veggie, how great is that?

[Paulclem]

But what about tea on the lawn with rich Auntie and cucumber sandwiches? No way.

Virtually all shampoos except the dandruff one, because they cost too much, smell indifferently and I get them for xmas when I really want an x box.

[qimissung]

And then what will the shampoodles do? It is not to be thought of.

Brain teasers. I don't want my brain teased. Fed and cosseted, maybe, but not teased.

[Hawkman]

Aren't teasers people who provide teas? What's wrong with brain food?

I would rather see Volkswagon Beatles in room 101 anyway.

[dafydd manton]

But the old ones are iconic, smell "different", wreck the environment, but the design was approved by Hitler. Anything that looks so daft, but got AH's approval must be worth keeping.

Pilchards! (Worse than anything else on the planet!)

[Hawkman]

My cat loves them so they have to stay out.

Hornets

[dafydd manton]

Not only would they devour all the pilchards, thus saving the world a problem, they are a great Rugby Club, who beat Rosslyn Park last year!

The phrases "It's a game of two 'arves", and "The lads was......"

[Hawkman]

Much as I would love to support your case I find myself unable to do so, on the grounds that these phrases equipped the late, great Peter Cook with outstanding material. Hopefully they will continue to enrich the contemporary commedian's repertoir.

Insincere TV ads for biological weapons in the form of yoghurt and Yakult :D

[dafydd manton]

...with added florohexyadrenalinine and PH47s, for a healthier lifestyle. Mind you without them, the chemists would have nothing to invent.

Reader's Digest condensed novels.

[Paulclem]

Reader's Digest condensed novels.

...are absolutely essential to have as a general leveller of tables, as doorstops, as steps to reach the pelmit to put up the curtain the bloody dog has pulled down again, as mpromptu weapons agains bands of marauding lit geek pulp squads, and they can, as a last resort be carried up to the loo... when you've run out of paper...but beware the unstable ink...

Cheese strings (yuck!)

[dafydd manton]

Cheese strings can be used to re-bind those copies of Readers Digest Condensed books that you have thrown at the dog for ruining yet another carpet!

Non-alcoholic lagers

[Paulclem]

Non-alcoholic lagers

are great to give to uncle nob-head at Christmas so that he doesn't become too drunk and insult the Mother in Law, vomit in the fireplace (it's a gas fire!), try to get off wth the single neighbour, or destroy the tree...again..

Jack Russells

[dafydd manton]

Jack Russells serve a major purpose in that, no matter no much one's wife has a somewhat shrill woice, it pales in to insignificance against the eternal yapping of the little brown and white *********. It puts even nagging in to perspective.

People who say "believe me" or "honestly", before telling a pack of lies.

[Paulclem]

Jack Russells serve a major purpose in that, no matter no much one's wife has a somewhat shrill woice, it pales in to insignificance against the eternal yapping of the little brown and white *********. It puts even nagging in to perspective.

People who say "believe me" or "honestly", before telling a pack of lies.

:lol:

People who say "believe me" or "honestly", before telling a pack of lies

We need them because there is always demand for those who can be justifiably punched, blamed and generally abused.

Ornaments - especially those figurines

[dafydd manton]

They are a vital part of our culture, because they stand to remind us that there is always some fool that will pay vast sums of moolah for a flat-backed figurine of Queen Victoria with only one eye, thus making the remainder of us feel superior. See also "Bargain Hunt"

Rappers. (With or without a silent "C")

[Hawkman]

Rappers are too awful for room 101, if you put them in they'd just be expelled by the other inhabitants of room 101.

Wasps

[dafydd manton]

Try as I might, and being allergic to the little blighters, I can think of no logical reason to keep them out, if only in memory of 1000 childhood picnics ruined by them. Open the door!

mirrored sun glasses

[Hawkman]

If you open the door to put the mirrored sunglasses in, the wasps would escape!

cold-calling tele-canvassers.

[ReadingElmo]

Sheesh, who's going to want to let them out? But then again, what use would Room 101 be to anyone if it were filled with such annoying persons? Nope, I can't let that happen, it would implode and create a black hole in the universe and we'd all be sucked into the nether world.

I'm going to have to go with stewed okrah, not only does it look gross and slimy it will gag you before you know what you've got hold of.

[Scheherazade]

I'm going to have to go with stewed okrah, not only does it look gross and slimy it will gag you before you know what you've got hold of.You know, this is something I am really struggling with... I am not sure what okra's saving grace would be... Shuddering even at the thought of it... However, maybe we can keep it out of Room 101 to serve it to our unwanted guests?

Next: Insincere apologies.

[Pendragon]

Are there any other kind of apologies?

Cooking crazes...

[Hawkman]

As it would seem that all cooking has at some time been a craze, this might result in all cooking being consigned to the eternal purgatory of Room 101. As the Human digestive tract has evolved to process cooked food, the retrograde step of reverting to a soley raw diet would be detrimental to the health!

Bad Ideas...

[MarkBastable]

Bad Ideas...

You want to put bad ideas in Room 101? Hm - that's a not a good idea. No.


Finger buffets. They leave you feeling full up and hungry and they give you indigestion.

[Pendragon]

There always seems to be a lot of unidentifiable food at these things and somebody who thinks it's funny to chortle, "I'll bet you can't guess what you just ate!" Why they call it a party is a mystery to me...

Herman Melville's Moby Dick

[Hawkman]

Are you referring to the book or the whale? If the whale, it would require that the room be extensively remodelled at vast expense, beyond the funding available to the lit net forums. If the book, it seems un-necessary as I'm sure that by wandering past a Christian fundamentalist's burning of Korans you could slip it in un-noticed.

People who think more of animals than their fellow men.

[Pendragon]

Are you referring to the book or the whale? If the whale, it would require that the room be extensively remodelled at vast expense, beyond the funding available to the lit net forums. If the book, it seems un-necessary as I'm sure that by wandering past a Christian fundamentalist's burning of Korans you could slip it in un-noticed.

People who think more of animals than their fellow men.

Note: I AM a fundamentalist Christian, and I wouldn't DREAM of burning a Koran, or any other Religious book, whether I agree with the people or not!

Now: People who push for animal rights and ignore human interests need to wake up and smell the irony

Weird clothing tastes...

[dafydd manton]

When I read this I felt my kaftan twitch with annoyance, so I readjusted the pink fedora, re-tied my spotted bow tie, hitched up the purple flares, and decided to take exception. I am irritated right down to my Yellow sandals and New York Mets sock!

People who get on buses and spend 5 minutes telling the driver that he's late, delaying the bus a bit more.

[Patrick_Bateman]

People on stilts. Marilyn Manson music videos freak me out for just that reason. I think my dislike might actually come from him.

People who don't the difference between there, their and they're and your and you're Do not invite me to join groups on facebook if the title is in violation or if there is a spelling mistake. Because I will not join.

smokers My mind still cannot fathom that nearly everyone I see or know smokes. We know it's incredible bad for your health, that it makes you stick, people won't want to kiss you and it can harm others around you, but yet there are some phalli who still do it. It's such a selfish habit.

Piers Morgan Except instead of Room 101 I would put him in a tiny steel container where he could only have the space to sit with his knees up and head crooked in between them. Then I would throw 50 scorpions and spiders and a few snakes in there.

[Tallefred]

People on stilts. Marilyn Manson music videos freak me out for just that reason. I think my dislike might actually come from him.

People who don't the difference between there, their and they're and your and you're Do not invite me to join groups on facebook if the title is in violation or if there is a spelling mistake. Because I will not join.

smokers My mind still cannot fathom that nearly everyone I see or know smokes. We know it's incredible bad for your health, that it makes you stick, people won't want to kiss you and it can harm others around you, but yet there are some phalli who still do it. It's such a selfish habit.

Piers Morgan Except instead of Room 101 I would put him in a tiny steel container where he could only have the space to sit with his knees up and head crooked in between them. Then I would throw 50 scorpions and spiders and a few snakes in there.

But stilts enable those of us who are short to reach the top shelf. Without them, more top shelves would go unused, forcing people to live in larger houses to store all their belongings, increasing the threat of overpopulation and leading to world hunger, war, and the eventual extinction of the human race.

Grammar is only a way of facilitating communication. Surely the content of the message is more important than the means of expressing it?

People who smoke where it can annoy others are obnoxious. However, you did not say that, you said smokers, and people who want to smoke where it hurts no one else have that right.

I have never heard of Piers Morgan. How can you expect me to send someone I've never heard of to Room 101? It's unethical.

For myself, I would send winter to my Room 101.

[dafydd manton]

Fred, just trust us, Piers Morgan has to go! Don't ask, just condemn.

[LMK]

Madona and Lady Gaga should be locked in room 101 before Piers Morgan; he's already on his way to other things that might be less bothersome anyway.

[Scheherazade]

For myself, I would send winter to my Room 101.No way! If it snows two inches or so this winter again, the schools might be closed again for 10 days! So, nuh-uh!

I would like to send Barney and Friends to the Room 101!

http://www.simpsonstrivia.com.ar/pictures-images/barney-and-friends.jpg

[Scheherazade]

If Barney goes to Room 101, then there won't be a lower limit for children's TV.

Next, squash type of drinks... What is the point of them? Why can't we give children proper juice?

[Hawkman]

Because then they wouldn't get all the E numbers a growing child with ADD needs!

Is it possible to put room 101 in room 101? If room 101 contains the worst thing in the world then room 101 is the worst thing in the world. I'm sure a Time Lord could do it :D

[Scheherazade]

No, it is not. If Room 101 is destroyed in that manner, we would be unable to get rid of the new horrible things that crop up every day.

Okra.

[iamnobody]

Ben Stiller.

[Silas Thorne]

The rich lizard people and their Illuminati friends, who travel in tunnels through the earth and exploit all the humans. ;)

[Scheherazade]

Just a reminder:
Tell us what would be in your Room 101 and why... but only after explaining the person above you why their choice should not go to that infamous room.So, again:

Okra.

[Hawkman]

Well to be honest it's hard to come up with a reason Okra (or Oprah for that matter) shouldn't be put in Room 101, but I guess all the Cajuns and Voodoo priestesses wouldn't be able to make a good gumbo without it, although I wouldn't know why they wanted to make gumbo in the first place.

Animal Rightsists.