My First Epic Poem

[Dodo25]

I'm a beginner when it comes to poetry. I have only written two poems so far, and the first one was about 'snow', so you can imagine it was a bit corny. The second one was for a short story, where I used it to paint the mood of the main character. I thought that one wasn't bad, but it was really short.

Anyway, now for some reason I forgot the fact that I can't write poetry and started writing a poem about human nature, encompassing the history of humanity and life itself. It's a big task, I'm planning on writing 10-20 stanzas with each 8 lines.

So since I have no idea what I'm doing, I thought it would be useful to get some feedback for my writing style before I finish the whole thing and realize it's rubbish.

So here comes an excerpt, my second stanza (out of 3 already written) and imo my weakest one. Incidentally, this stanza is also an outline for my goals with this poem. The context: Above, it was talking about myriad stars in the universe, then life was introduced, and the Earth was mentioned as 'Place of Dreams, Deeds and Tombs'.
Here it goes:

-- Edit: it's gone--

Any kind of feedback is highly appreciated.

[Dodo25]

I'm starting to think that the excerpt by itself doesn't make much sense..

Edit: indeed.

[kittypaws]

D25...I am no better a writer then you but I will go out on a limb here....what did you capitalize so many of the words? It made the read uneasy.

[Dodo25]

For emphasis, but that effect is indeed lost if I overuse it. Thanks for the comment, I'll have to cut back on capitalization.