Air I hold.

[Isitandthink]

I've seen 'em in movie and bright lights,
the way romance novels often get them right.

The girl swirls gently, her hand near her face,
while the man holds her like a fortress often 'round the waist.

In a dark blue street where lamps burn bright,
such ardent kisses of dracula's bite.

A quiet lake and the summer's warm,
under the oak, making love to nature's song.

Such beauty pictures our minds behold,
in reality it's only air
I hold.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don't like the "'em" in l. 1 because it set me up for the expectation that this would continue in vernacular; but, apart from that I much enjoyed the naturalness of this and the eventual disappointment at the end.

[Isitandthink]

Thank you very much prince, for your comment :)

[MorpheusSandman]

I don't like the line manipulation near the end that cuts off the penultimate meter to put "I hold" on the last line, especially since you already have that as the title. Other than that I really like the concept of the piece, the intangibility of the dream and image that turns to nothing in reality. I think there are some ideas (like the third stanza) that cry out to be more developed.

[Isitandthink]

Hi Sandman,

Thank you for the critique. I'll bear that in mind and improve ^^