In a web

[Le_Iris]

Well, this is my second try of writing lyrics in English ^_^" It is for my friend's band.


Here I am, just a man in a web of intrigues
Staring how others spin it with their tricks.
I'm the only one and don't wanna play this game,
I'm not a pawn, give me back my name.

I'm trying not to look into people's eyes,
Cause they reflect only greedy paradise.
Your sight is shrouded with a dollar mist.
Hey, people, I'm your alarmist.

Yes, I'm just a man in a web of intrigues
Trying to struggle with all these things.
I do care, I am to be not justified.
Sometimes I wish I were blind...

[Hawkman]

Hi Le Iris, and welcome back. I think this is pretty good. The only thing I might question is what you actually want to say in line two. Staring is a bit odd here. Watching might be a better word. Good lyrics though, I'll be looking out for more.

Best H

[PrinceMyshkin]

My only problem is with the penultimate line: "I do care, I am to be not justified" which is neither idiomatic nor clear. Apart from that, this is very good. Might we know the name of the band for which this was composed?

[Le_Iris]

Hawkman, thank you very much for your comment. Well, as English is not my mother tongue, I don't feel all the details of it very good xD Maybe you're right)

[Le_Iris]

PrinceMyshkin, may you help me with this line, please? ^_^" By the way, thank you. The band's name is "VTV" ))) If my friends record this song, I'll show it ^_^