Charity

[Dark Muse]

The next installment of the Dark Side of Virtue

Charity

Cutting out pieces of myself
to pass around
mitigating out segments of my soul
to be used
my heart served upon
a bloody plate for others to devour.

Sliced and diced
my doors thrown open
to be stripped down
to the bare bone
the doormat
upon my own doorstep
trodden over by the feet
of others while lying
in the mud face down
broken toothed smile
still infused with
self-disdain.

Begrudging myself
even my breath
while others no longer
breathe.

Render myself a beggar
in the streets that still
refuses to take from others,
always the giver,
starving, empty souled
barren inside.

Becoming an object,
the tool used by
others who care nothing
for my own pain.

Naked in the streets
I would shed even
my own skin,
begrudging myself
these working limbs.

Serve myself up
pass around my organs,
live inside my walls,
until nothing yet remains to
me, nothing but the self-hate
that there is nothing left
to give away.

Even my love dwindles away
starved out, strangled,
depraved for never being
replenished.

[hillwalker]

Another crushingly depressing slice of misery - but in this case it has a more human element than some of the previous poems in this series. Which perhaps is no bad thing.

There are some striking images here that are hard to ignore when the reading is done -

the doormat
upon my own doorstep

is probably the one that struck me most strongly, because it brought to mind the quote that 'charity begins at home' as does, in this instance, its evil 'twin'.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Very much in keeping with the motif of the 7 deadly virtues, this is a savage indictment of what, I assume, you see as the hypocritical underside of "charity". Among so many heart-rending stanzas, this one



Render myself a beggar
in the streets that still
refuses to take from others,
always the giver,
starving, empty souled
barren inside.

particularly stuck out for me.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you! The series is intended to showcase the outcomes of what would happen if each of the virtues were taken to the up most extreme and the results of if a person completely denied themselves even a sliver of the self-pleasure offered within the seven deadly sins, to the point in which they would be self-destructing and denying themselves actual needed subsistence both in a literal physical sense as well as in a more spiritual or emotional sense.

The truth is I think we all need to be a little selfish at times and consider are own personal needs and wants and not deny ourselves all forms of self-pleasure and self-gratification.

[MorpheusSandman]

I honestly think this whole series so far has comprised some of your best work, probably because of the ingenuity of taking these classic "goods" and showing how dark, bad, and negative they can be in different lights. I was also quite struck by the "doormat" line. I think my only negative comment would be that it's almost TOO bleak. Sometimes you can make a bigger impact by being more subtle in your satire and saving some of the more darker, harsher statements for the end. You don't want to exhaust your readers right up front.

[Dark Muse]

I honestly think this whole series so far has comprised some of your best work, probably because of the ingenuity of taking these classic "goods" and showing how dark, bad, and negative they can be in different lights. I was also quite struck by the "doormat" line. I think my only negative comment would be that it's almost TOO bleak. Sometimes you can make a bigger impact by being more subtle in your satire and saving some of the more darker, harsher statements for the end. You don't want to exhaust your readers right up front.

As always I appreciate your comments. You may have a point about the bleakness, though I had set out intentionally to make them particularly dark and despairing.

It has thus far been a fun as well as challenging series to try and capture each of the virtues in just the right way where it reflects the initial intent and meaning behind the virtue while pushing it over the edge.

[Bar22do]

Naturally, "orderly charity begins at home" came to my mind immediately, but Hillwalker has quoted it already...
So my only remark is that it would be more gratifying for the shadows of VIRTUES you describe to be collected up on ONE cycle-thread, for we could have them all at hand, without looking for the previously pictured somewhere far...
Other than that I think the very idea is great and your Charity well crafted. I agree with MS that it could be refined but it's still powerful. Bar

[Dark Muse]

So my only remark is that it would be more gratifying for the shadows of VIRTUES you describe to be collected up on ONE cycle-thread, for we could have them all at hand, without looking for the previously pictured somewhere far...

That is an interesting idea, my only concern with that is that it may make it difficult or at least less convenient for people to comment on each work individually. And it may lead to the poems as being seen primarily in the collective, distracting from an individual attention to each work.

Perhaps after I complete the series I could do a collective posting of them all together. .

[_Shannon_]

This is superb...and just such a great thematic work!