Steeplechase

[Hawkman]

Yesterday the sun shone
as the horses ran the course
at the point to point.

Fifth race, two fences from the line, a fall;
the jockey rises but the horse does not.
Then the screens and the knackers van.

On the finish line a girl is crying,
consoled by the embrace
of an older woman.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love the dispassionate observer of this, his (and our) feelings delegated to the girl & the woman seeking to console her.

What a shift in point of view and ambition from your "Ashes to Ashes"!

[Jesterhead]

I liked the imagery of this, good poem. Every verse represents a scene which is painted beautifully.

[hillwalker]

A very matter-of-fact description of your day out. I particularly enjoyed the second and third verses - echoing the kind of commentary that might be heard coming from the loudspeakers surrounding the track (?).

I'm assuming Prince had a slight lapse of memory when he mistook you for me (judging by his reference to your 'Ashes to Ashes') - I hope you can live with the ignominy :-)

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

A very matter-of-fact description of your day out. I particularly enjoyed the second and third verses - echoing the kind of commentary that might be heard coming from the loudspeakers surrounding the track (?).

I'm assuming Prince had a slight lapse of memory when he mistook you for me (judging by his reference to your 'Ashes to Ashes') - I hope you can live with the ignominy :-)

H

Whoops! I'm reminded of the story of a Jew and a Chinese man seated next to each other at a bar when the Jew suddenly punches the Chinese man on the shoulder.

"Hey!" says the Chinese man: "Why'd you do that?"

"I was remembering Pearl Harbor," the Jew answers.

"But it was the Japanese who attacked Pearl Harbour," says the Chinese man.

"Japanese, Chinese: what's the difference?" the Jew asks.

A few minutes later, the Chinese man punches the Jew on the shoulder.

"What's that about?" the Jew asks.

"I was remembering what caused the sinking of the Titanic," says the Chinese man.

"But that was an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Iceberg, Goldberg," says the Chinese man: "What's the difference?"

[hillwalker]

It was worth the slip-up to have you share that joke with us, Prince. Thank you.....

[Hawkman]

Thanks, Prince. Do I get a diploma in Myshkinese now, or do I have to set fire to it first? :D

Jesterhead, Thank you. Not the happiest of images I think you'll agree. It needed to be drawn starkly, no frills, just a sketch of a sad event. Glad you liked it.

hill, you poor man, having your magnum opus accredited to me! Or worse yet, my damp squib laid at your door, which is worse? I suppose we could go halves on the contract... :D

Actually the announcements are evasive on these occasions. It's like Battle of Britain fighter pilots, not referring to a missing comrade in the mess, after a day of heavy ops. Everyone knows what has happened but no one wants to talk about it.

Glad it touched you though.

Ok PM, I guess you're forgiven. If a hitman comes round, we didn't send him.

Thanks to all, Live long and prosper, H

[MorpheusSandman]

I grew up with a mother who loved horses so I ended up seeing a lot of races and there were definitely some horrifying, heartbreaking moments of horses collapsing and dying during races. I think you capture that wonderfully here with a sense of detached observation like with which most people watch these races.

It's ironic that Prince confused you with hill because I've done the same thing since I've come back. I think it was because neither of you were here (at least, much) before I left and since I've come back you both have become staples. You also both have black and white avatars and monikers that start with H!

[blank|verse]

It's ironic that Prince confused you with hillwalker, as it is quite easy to confuse this poem with one of Prince's!

And that's no bad thing, of course (he hastens to add...)!

And just to change the mood completely - have you seen the comedy news-spoof series 'The Day Today'? There's one with sports commentator Alan Partridge at 'the Races'... "Ooh, what's that?? It looks like a dead horse!! I hope it's not, there's no way he's going to get that in the back of a Volvo C40...." Too funny.

[Delta40]

Your poem said so much without saying alot. You let us fill in the gaps from the start to the finish line. Well done.

[Hawkman]

I grew up with a mother who loved horses so I ended up seeing a lot of races and there were definitely some horrifying, heartbreaking moments of horses collapsing and dying during races. I think you capture that wonderfully here with a sense of detached observation like with which most people watch these races.

Thanks Morpheus. What struck me was the fact that everything went on regardless. The finnishers thundered by, with people cheering them on while this pair were marooned and invisible to the crowd.


It's ironic that Prince confused you with hill because I've done the same thing since I've come back. I think it was because neither of you were here (at least, much) before I left and since I've come back you both have become staples. You also both have black and white avatars and monikers that start with H!

hill's is the cheeky chappie avatar and mine's the hand of God (One of my own photos by the way and all done in camera, no photoshop gimmicks!) Hope this clears up the confusion... :D


It's ironic that Prince confused you with hillwalker, as it is quite easy to confuse this poem with one of Prince's!

And that's no bad thing, of course (he hastens to add...)!

Thanks, B/V. Well I guess I must be doing something right then!


And just to change the mood completely - have you seen the comedy news-spoof series 'The Day Today'? There's one with sports commentator Alan Partridge at 'the Races'... "Ooh, what's that?? It looks like a dead horse!! I hope it's not, there's no way he's going to get that in the back of a Volvo C40...." Too funny.

Oh yes, I remember, Alternative comedy, the alternative to funny being, "Not funny?" Sorry but I never enjoyed that programme. "Not the 9 O'Clock News" was excellent but I thought "The Day Today" more than a step beyond. Alan Partridge - :puke:


Your poem said so much without saying alot. You let us fill in the gaps from the start to the finish line. Well done.

Thanks D40 much appreciated.

Thanks to you all for reading and commenting.

Live and be well, H

[Bar22do]

In a draught: I too approve, am feeling for the dog, am moved. Loved the artful briefness of your poem. bar

[Hawkman]

Thanks bar, Hope you're having fun in the Eastern Empire.

[Bar22do]

It's b***** hell not fun and I'm in Western Empire...

[Bar22do]

In a draught: I too approve, am feeling for the dog, am moved. Loved the artful briefness of your poem. bar
I'm so sorry, I meant HORSE, not dog.... you can see my attention is away... sorry again!

[MorpheusSandman]

mine's the hand of God (One of my own photos by the way and all done in camera, no photoshop gimmicks!) Hope this clears up the confusion... Oooh, a fellow photographer here! I got myself a medium-format Mamiya 7-II but, sadly, I find extremely little time to use it. It's a shame because I love the art of photography, and I vastly prefer film over digital.

[lallison]

I interpreted this as a artful was of depicting how bad luck and good luck are connected and play off of one another. What better way to do this than a day at the horse races. Some win and some lose. Sometimes a bout of bad luck shows us just how lucky we are. And also the differences in perceptions between children and adults. Great poem.

[Hawkman]

I'm so sorry, I meant HORSE, not dog.... you can see my attention is away... sorry again!

You are forgiven, and I'm sorry you are not having such a good time. Sorry also for suggesting you were still in the East. When I posted your location was still saying Stambul. Thanks for liking the poem and saying hello...


Oooh, a fellow photographer here! ... and I vastly prefer film over digital.

These days most of what I do is moving image. For stills I prefer film too. The biggest advantage is that you know when you press the shutter, you capture what is in front of the lens in that instant. With digital there's always a sodding delay...


I interpreted this as a artful was of depicting how bad luck and good luck are connected and play off of one another. What better way to do this than a day at the horse races. Some win and some lose. Sometimes a bout of bad luck shows us just how lucky we are. And also the differences in perceptions between children and adults. Great poem.

Thanks lall.

Thank you all for commenting.

Live long and prosper - H

[qimissung]

Yes, a very well-done snapshot, in black and white of such private moments, for death and grief are both private. I salute you, Hawkman.

[Hawkman]

Thanks qim. Much appreciated. H