Embrace the Hour

[Amylian]

Hi,

Here is another short poem written in an attempt to be free from the chains of me being influenced by Romantics and Classical style of versification...!!!



"Embrace the Hour"
By
Ali Makki aka Amylian

Never before the door of heaven opened up so freely,
The time must have vanished,
Soon, all will be dark,
I know,
I have seen it,
This world will go away,
So embrace the hour before you go.


Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian

[hillwalker]

Wow. Such a short poem with such a cryptic message.
I really liked it.....

Having said that, those chains are still dragging at your feet. Your attempt to escape from Classical versification fails at the very first step - 'Ne'er' - I wonder where I've seen that word used before.

[Amylian]

Oh man cut me some slack...!!!

It seems you're right Hillwalker...I will change it!!! lol

[hillwalker]

Do I detect a little relaxation in your grip on those dreaded Romantics?

I know you equate their style with 'proper poetry' and the 'classic' way of writing, but sometimes it can be like a noose that throttles all the life out of a poem.

See - changing it was quite painless!

[Amylian]

Do I detect a little relaxation in your grip on those dreaded Romantics?

I know you equate their style with 'proper poetry' and the 'classic' way of writing, but sometimes it can be like a noose that throttles all the life out of a poem.

See - changing it was quite painless!

To tell you the truth, no!! I feel like a different person when I write Blank Verses. It's so unlike me...!!! You know, when I presented this to one of my professors who are familiar with my work, he said: Ali, are you alright? Of course after he took a look at the paper with a smile...!!!

I still prefer writing rhymed verses and using archiac style...!!! Even though it might be pain in the butt; because of the time you're going to spend in dictionaries trying to find the proper diction and whatnot, it is the best way to unleash my true capibilities...!!!:wink5:

[MorpheusSandman]

I quite like it, though my only criticism would be to remove the "too" from the last line since "go" will provide a delayed rhyme with the central word "know".

[Bar22do]

Hi,

Here is another short poem written in an attempt to be free from the chains of me being influenced by Romantics and Classical style of versification...!!!



"Embrace the Hour"
By
Ali Makki aka Amylian

Never before the door of heaven opened up so freely,
The time must have vanished,
Soon, all will be dark,
I know,
I have seen it,
This world will go away,
So embrace the hour before you go too.


Regards,
Ali Makki aka Amylian

Your different SELF is rather interesting, as reflected in this poem... my only criticizm would be - but so personal - I don't like shaped poems... the fanciness of the shape takes my attention from the poem's flow and content, though I'm ready to face a lot to read your soul's visions... and this piece is remarkable. Bar

[qimissung]

It is sweetly, darkly philosophical; I particularly love the first line. I can relate to your desire tofree youself of your particular constraints; I sometimes feel the need to do the same by writing more formally, which does not come naturally to me.

[Amylian]

I quite like it, though my only criticism would be to remove the "too" from the last line since "go" will provide a delayed rhyme with the central word "know".

I will think about this one...Good suggestion by the way.

How about letting the "too" alone in the end...?!!

This world will go away,
So embrace the hour before you go
too!

[Amylian]

Your different SELF is rather interesting, as reflected in this poem... my only criticizm would be - but so personal - I don't like shaped poems... the fanciness of the shape takes my attention from the poem's flow and content, though I'm ready to face a lot to read your soul's visions... and this piece is remarkable. Bar



Recognizing your position of the "self" as a subject //I// can make people think you’re selfish, although it's nothing but correlating with your own identity...!!! I also think it works well as my "self" being an "object" //Me// known to others to allow them into my deep psyche and be able to explore it...!!!

This poem is like talking to my own "self" and the last two lines are like "preaching" if you like as the reflection of my inner cognitive contemplations makes me "foresee" or "forebode" and thus, trying to save the world...lol


It is sweetly, darkly philosophical; I particularly love the first line. I can relate to your desire tofree youself of your particular constraints; I sometimes feel the need to do the same by writing more formally, which does not come naturally to me.

It will come eventually, just give it time...!!! Words that are forced will backfire...!!!

I'd love to see people acting according to their own desire; it might be hard to explain what I am about to say in this short reply. This is a clichéd question: Why do people carry on warring? I doubt there is a convincing answer...!!!

What I like about writing philosophical poems is that they enable thee to touch upon a matter and make people think, to make a difference and to bridge the gap of their incompleteness...!!!

[MorpheusSandman]

I will think about this one...Good suggestion by the way.

How about letting the "too" alone in the end...?!!

This world will go away,
So embrace the hour before you go
too!Either one works, though I still think "too" feels a bit superfluous. In general, I'm a fan of excluding in poetry unless inclusion makes a piece compoundedly better.

[Amylian]

Roger!! Then excluding it is...!!! When you said "superfluous" I kind of think so now...Thanks for making me feel so...lol Anyways, I think you're right, I will exclude it, now!!!