Hello friends

[friendlychosen]

good Evening,
I would like to post something here. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

After the sunset,
there was nothing left.
All the gatherings,
were gone.
Maybe behind a tree.
Maybe behind the park.
All I gathered,
I forgot.
Now everything is gone,
Where to?
Never mind.
With whom?
It is none.
I have to clarify,
I might too satisfy,
Somebody out in the dark.
Somebody whom I barely know.
Now it’s not hard to grow,
bitter Darkness of emptiness.

[MorpheusSandman]

I quite like it actually. Very somber and mysterious. The opening vividly reminds me of both the "absent friends" quote in my signature, for some reason (probably because it centered around a transcendental "gathering").

[PrinceMyshkin]

I like this very much except for your intermittent use of rhyme. They weren't particularly interesting rhymes, but the main problem is that sometimes you used them and sometimes you do not. One will sometimes write without rhyme except for a final rhyming couplet, when one wants to emphasize an event or a realization.

[hillwalker]

An interesting poem -from the point of view of the form and the language. Perhaps it could be tightened up a bit to avoid repetition.

And the word 'gatherings' followed a few lines later by 'gathered' tends not to work especially well.

And I couldn't vote with my heart because there is no - 'Yes, probably'