Today I witnessed the dawn...

[Vane C.]

... let me know what you think!

Have you ever gotten out of bed, stifling a yawn,
With no better reason, than to witness the dawn?
That magical foreplay to a beautiful day,
When the powers of God seem to be on display.
When nothing really appears to make sense,
When the colours assemble for the world to commence.

Regards

[hillwalker]

I like it - especially lines 3 and 4.

I could pick fault with your use of the word 'gotten' in the first line - being from this side of the Atlantic the word hasn't caught on and has connotations of sloppy slang.

A good effort all the same.



EDIT: have just spotted the thread on the Poems forum..... where you were advised to change 'went' to 'gotten'!!!
Obviously advice given by non-UK readers. I would have suggested 'got' - but you are the writer - you get to choose what words you use.....

[PrinceMyshkin]

I was a touch nervous about your use of such commonplace rhymes - until I got to the last line, when I was sold on the sincerity of your feelings and the beauty of your expression.

[MorpheusSandman]

As I often say, if you're going to use end-rhymes, especially couplets, you have to regularize the meter. If not you run the risk of tripping the reader up and usually do. I simply couldn't enjoy this piece while suffering the irregular meter. I like the content, just not the form.

[qimissung]

I still like it. Keep writng, thinking, seeing, revising. Regards, qimissung

Still, gotten is better than went, isn't it? To my ears it is.