MANICHAEAN
05-29-2010, 05:38 AM
What is the greatest sport on earth?
If the sports channels are anything to go by it's either: football, baseball, cricket, rugby or ice hockey.
I've decided to nominate kissing as the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
Kissing is versatile. There are many types of kisses to choose from and at least one for just about any occasion. There is the kissing empty air either side of the face type that does not interfere with the makeup. Hollywood dames seem to feel comfortable in this ritual & it is normally preceeded by a voluble "Daaaling". Other variations on the theme are: the peck on the cheek kiss, the lips kiss ( which constitutes a comprehensive sub division of its own), the tongue down the tonsils kiss, the kiss in the ear, the elegant kiss on the hand, the kiss of death, the Judas kiss, the butterfly kiss and the "Hey you! Kiss this!" If I've missed any then please let me know in a sealed addressed envelope care of Admin.
Kissing is adaptable to location & it really does not matter where you are. You can kiss in the street, in the boardroom, at a funeral, in the space shuttle, in the bath & even in Alberta in the summer season of the last two weeks of July.
Kissing is healthy for it is:
1. Non fattening. This is good news because dieters will now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating.
2. Organic, low in sodium, preservative free & low in saturated fats.
3. Most kisses are not tested on animals, but then who am I to judge the boundaries of acceptable behaviour!
The only warnings that it might be pertinent to observe are:
1. The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties; usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers & Sicilian fathers equipped with shotguns.
2. There are some countries and locations where it is culturally frowned upon to kiss in public e.g a Taliban disco or a beach in Dubai. But then again, if you find this restrictive, why not move to countries like France where it is compulsory.
If the sports channels are anything to go by it's either: football, baseball, cricket, rugby or ice hockey.
I've decided to nominate kissing as the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
Kissing is versatile. There are many types of kisses to choose from and at least one for just about any occasion. There is the kissing empty air either side of the face type that does not interfere with the makeup. Hollywood dames seem to feel comfortable in this ritual & it is normally preceeded by a voluble "Daaaling". Other variations on the theme are: the peck on the cheek kiss, the lips kiss ( which constitutes a comprehensive sub division of its own), the tongue down the tonsils kiss, the kiss in the ear, the elegant kiss on the hand, the kiss of death, the Judas kiss, the butterfly kiss and the "Hey you! Kiss this!" If I've missed any then please let me know in a sealed addressed envelope care of Admin.
Kissing is adaptable to location & it really does not matter where you are. You can kiss in the street, in the boardroom, at a funeral, in the space shuttle, in the bath & even in Alberta in the summer season of the last two weeks of July.
Kissing is healthy for it is:
1. Non fattening. This is good news because dieters will now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating.
2. Organic, low in sodium, preservative free & low in saturated fats.
3. Most kisses are not tested on animals, but then who am I to judge the boundaries of acceptable behaviour!
The only warnings that it might be pertinent to observe are:
1. The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties; usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers & Sicilian fathers equipped with shotguns.
2. There are some countries and locations where it is culturally frowned upon to kiss in public e.g a Taliban disco or a beach in Dubai. But then again, if you find this restrictive, why not move to countries like France where it is compulsory.