Diamonds So Bright

[Lamar Cole]

The way her eyes sparkle like diamonds so bright.
The way her lips tastes like apples so sweet.
Really knocks me off my feet.

The way her touch sets me on fire.
The way her lovely scent lingers.
The soft feel of her hair on my fingers.

The way she always make me feel.
A lasting love that is so real.

[lallison]

What i really like about this poem is the mood it sets and the crisp and clear language that it uses. It reminds me of a Beatles song from their earlier period like "Money Can't Buy me Love." And I'm always a sucker for love poetry, nothing too sappy though. So all in all, i like the little ditty you've put together.

BUT, here's the problem: eyes sparkling like diamonds, "knocks me off my feet," "sets me on fire," none of that stuff is original. It's all been said before lots and lots and lots of times and will be said lots of times in the future by countless poets and songwriters. And for that reason, those poems will be a bit dull and unoriginal. Try to think of a unique way to express yourself, that's what poetry is all about.

Good start!