Why the Easter Bunny is Suing Me

[SilentMute]

After yesterday's mental diarrhea--which resolved my issues and left me happier--I decided to do a totally superficial post! And shorter.

When I was eight years old, the night before Easter, I was laying in bed. My room adjoined my grandparent's kitchen. I heard a noise and went to investigate very quietly, worried it was a burglar. I was excited when I saw it was the Easter Bunny! He should have been terrifying. He was huge! Seven feet tall, probably more than three hundred pounds. He had fake pink fur. He hopped away to my grandparents room, and while he was gone, I peeked at my Easter basket. It was the most beautiful basket I had ever seen. Wrapped in pink cellophane and full of Hello kitty toys. I heard him returning, so I hid. He was fiddling with the basket, and I snuck up on him. I grabbed his big bunny butt--and he disappeared.

When I woke up the next morning and looked at my basket, it was a lot different. No cellophane. There were a few Hello Kitty toys, but not as many. A few hard-boiled eggs my grandparents had painted, some jelly beans--mainly black ones, which I hated. I was upset. I figured the Easter Bunny was upset when I grabbed his butt--which is sexual harrassment--and he docked my Easter Basket for it.

So, anybody else have problems with these creatures of myth...or is it just me? They can be so pissy, I think.

[soundofmusic]

After yesterday's mental diarrhea--which resolved my issues and left me happier--I decided to do a totally superficial post! And shorter.

When I was eight years old, the night before Easter, I was laying in bed. My room adjoined my grandparent's kitchen. I heard a noise and went to investigate very quietly, worried it was a burglar. I was excited when I saw it was the Easter Bunny! He should have been terrifying. He was huge! Seven feet tall, probably more than three hundred pounds. He had fake pink fur. He hopped away to my grandparents room, and while he was gone, I peeked at my Easter basket. It was the most beautiful basket I had ever seen. Wrapped in pink cellophane and full of Hello kitty toys. I heard him returning, so I hid. He was fiddling with the basket, and I snuck up on him. I grabbed his big bunny butt--and he disappeared.

When I woke up the next morning and looked at my basket, it was a lot different. No cellophane. There were a few Hello Kitty toys, but not as many. A few hard-boiled eggs my grandparents had painted, some jelly beans--mainly black ones, which I hated. I was upset. I figured the Easter Bunny was upset when I grabbed his butt--which is sexual harrassment--and he docked my Easter Basket for it.

So, anybody else have problems with these creatures of myth...or is it just me? They can be so pissy, I think.

I'm pretty sure they eventually fired that Easter Bunny; there was a big write up in the Miami Herald next to the finger paint page. He was a total cleptomaniac; the parents felt so bad that he left such shoddy baskets that they began waiting until he left...Of course, what kid wants to see their parents deliver Easter baskets. In addition, there were several cases of Salmonila poisoning; it seems that the dumb bunny didn't realize you had to refrigerate eggs. Then, one year when he was drinking, he confused the licorice jelly beans for exlax; the only happy people were the plumbers who were able to charge triple on Easter Sunday!

[Musicology]

Hi there Silent Mute,

A friend of mine in Germany may be keeping one of those giant rabbits in captivity. Here is the evidence. (It weighs 23 lbs and lives in East Germany).




After yesterday's mental diarrhea--which resolved my issues and left me happier--I decided to do a totally superficial post! And shorter.

When I was eight years old, the night before Easter, I was laying in bed. My room adjoined my grandparent's kitchen. I heard a noise and went to investigate very quietly, worried it was a burglar. I was excited when I saw it was the Easter Bunny! He should have been terrifying. He was huge! Seven feet tall, probably more than three hundred pounds. He had fake pink fur. He hopped away to my grandparents room, and while he was gone, I peeked at my Easter basket. It was the most beautiful basket I had ever seen. Wrapped in pink cellophane and full of Hello kitty toys. I heard him returning, so I hid. He was fiddling with the basket, and I snuck up on him. I grabbed his big bunny butt--and he disappeared.

When I woke up the next morning and looked at my basket, it was a lot different. No cellophane. There were a few Hello Kitty toys, but not as many. A few hard-boiled eggs my grandparents had painted, some jelly beans--mainly black ones, which I hated. I was upset. I figured the Easter Bunny was upset when I grabbed his butt--which is sexual harrassment--and he docked my Easter Basket for it.

So, anybody else have problems with these creatures of myth...or is it just me? They can be so pissy, I think.

[soundofmusic]

Hi there Silent Mute,

A friend of mine in Germany may be keeping one of those giant rabbits in captivity. Here is the evidence. (It weighs 23 lbs and lives in East Germany).

Oh my God, Musicology, he is a scary fellow...from now on when someone says they have a monster in the closet or under the bed, I'll check...Or, maybe I'll call for the wild animal rescue...:willy_nilly:

Do you think he steals hello kitty toys?:smilielol5:

[SilentMute]

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!:eek:

What is your friend feeding those rabbits?

As for me, my bunny was the result of a thieving relative, a dream, and taking too much cough medicine.

I don't know how I became addicted to Nyquil when I was eight--that stuff tasted awful! This was before it came in gel caps. I think my grandparents gave it to me when I had a cold, but then I started sneaking into the medicine cabinet later. By the time I came back to my mom's, I was drinking a half bottle of Nyquil. When she caught on and stopped buying it, she had a very irritable eight year old in withdrawal...but my test scores improved.

It turns out, though, that she did buy the Hello Kitty basket. My grandparents thought she spoiled me, and we think now one of them took most of the stuff. I probably woke up that night, but was partially dreaming...and partially hallucinating.

I don't condone drug abuse, but I have to admit...life was very interesting when I abused Nyquil.