Tides

[dara.cv]

If only I were able
to smooth the tide
That fills and ebbs within me
Repel the sun, the moon, the universe
And let my center be
To act upon it’s own accord
Be at peace
In harmony
With my Brethren of this world
, Thus affected,
To possibly concede
To oppose our destined fate
Such as the tidal sea
And walk our paths
Not by heavens gait
But by our own, calm and free
But as of now it stands alone
I can only wonder
With immense joy or joyless gravity

[MorpheusSandman]

I really like the structure of this. The "Thus affected" line seems to effectively split the piece in two. In fact, the whole piece feels like an ebb and flow, with the first half slowly pushing forward and back, and the second half pushing back and forward. I especially liked the linguistic play of "heaven's gait".

[PrinceMyshkin]

Took me a while to understand that "heaven's gait" meant exactly that - and to appreciate it as well as the rest of this. There's a lightness to it that carries the deep thoughts easily.

[Bar22do]

"heavens gait", great, dara.cv! as is all your gem-piece that gives a taste of our centres' harmonizing powers.. Very good poem indeed. Thanks a lot. Bar

[J.D. Sparks]

It's a very profound and beautiful poem, but I just have to raise a small quibble. I wonder whether "BY heaven's gait" is the correct word there? It seems to me like one would say "in heaven's gait". I'm not entirely sure what the correct word is though.

[dara.cv]

Thank you all for your comments, i gain an unequivocal joy on here with all of you, i have discovered a company to relate to about the confusions and understandings of life that absorb my mind at times.

to Prince Myshin- I idolize your works and style just so you know


to J.D.Sparks- I used the word "by" since the tides ,as well as other matter affected by this phenomena, are pulled back and forth by the heavens-sun, moon, and possibly other planets. So i wanted to express that we in a sense walk at heavens pace, progress, movement (gait)- on its terms and not our own. There are forces affecting us beyond us.

[hillwalker]

A beautiful poem. Some really wonderful phrases hidden in it like gems of wisdom.
Good stuff.

H

[Hawkman]

Sorry, I've only just seen this. It invites one to read and reread it over again. The poem contains some wonderful imagery and is light reading, without being lightweight. Great poem. H