Your tear.

[Bandanna]

Your tear, I feel it against my face.
Silent it waits, clinging to my cheek.
A slow kiss, for your neck. Then my tear runs for yours
rushing sadly between us before our last release.
The sunrise rinses through us
and the wind sprays your hair.
Your hand on my chin, then together our tears come to be.
Our tear.
That forever falls
upon that sandy
spot.
Forever into those unforgetful tides, that carry every tear, of every memory, of every leaving love. Those That flow eternal through heart and mind.


Then on nights like this
When I feel the melancholy wind
and I watch a lonely sun rise--
because I can not sleep.
I breathe,
and I breathe your touch again.





Edit: There is no way for me to keep the poems form when posting online...

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulty posting this in the form you intended. I thought the extreme difference between the sometimes very short line and


"Forever into those unforgetful tides, that carry every tear, of every memory, of every leaving love. Those That flow eternal through heart and mind"


was intentional - and it intrigued me, as did the whole of this.

[Bandanna]

Thank you for reading my poem.
It was all indeed intentional. :)
But the poem loses something in having the graphical value skewed, it's okay though. It's just, there is some sort of small effect of having "The sunrise rinses through us and the wind sprays your hair." pushed to the right.
It affects the pattern of the images in the readers mind.
Also, "I breathe,/ and I breathe your touch again." stretches to the right of the page in the form as I would have it. BUT, it is okay =p

[Lumiere]

*Readers: if you quote the poem in the reply, you can see the proper arrangement. I can see it right now, at least.*

"that sandy spot" and "those unforgetful tides"!
I liked this poem much more than I thought I would. Reading it 3 times, it became progressively more vivid and unbearably beautiful. The "sunrise rinses" is a very cool image. Thanks, Bandanna.

[MorpheusSandman]

One way to keep the form is to copy it as an image on your screen (your keyboard should have a "Prt Scr" button), paste it onto a program like Paint, save it to your desktop, upload it to a site like Imageshack, copy the URL, and then post it here as an image. Voila.

As for the poem, I really like the tenderness in it. So many people write about love but so few are able to translate the feelings into language. I think the evocation of tears, the sun, and nature really does that here.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Your tear, I feel it against my face.
Silent it waits, clinging to my cheek.
A slow kiss, for your neck. Then my tear runs for yours
rushing sadly between us before our last release.


The sunrise rinses through us
and the wind sprays your hair.
Your hand on my chin, then together our tears come to be.
Our tear.
That forever falls
upon that sandy
spot.
Forever into those unforgetful tides, that carry every tear, of every memory, of every leaving love. Those That flow eternal through heart and mind.





Then on nights like this
When I feel the melancholy wind
and I watch a lonely sun rise--
because I can not sleep.
I breathe,




and I breathe your touch again.





Following Lumiere's advice, and specifying indentations where you intended them, I've reread this and yes, the indentations emphasize the relationship of those lines to the main body of the text - and the poem is even stronger.

[Buh4Bee]

This is very nice and light. Airy, like the breeze you describe in your poem.

Can you get the structure fixed and repost?

[Bandanna]

What prince myshkin has done is the best that can be done, short of
taking picture of the original final revision on my paper. :p

[Delta40]

I was swept away by the poignant tragic romance of it all, which spoke to me of a treasured memory containing gentle barbs of pain.

This is a beautiful piece.

[Hawkman]

Sorry I missed this when it was posted. It's a very effective romantic poem, redolent with the memory of loss.

[hoope]

A very nice poem .. i personally loved it :) Touching and sad !