The Best Part Of Me

[Lamar Cole]

Love flows like a river.
Love falls like the rain.
The thought of you makes me shiver.
The touch of your lips makes me quiver.

Love smells sweet like a rose.
Love is deep like the sea.
Your love like leaves on a tree.
Is darling the best part of me.

[dizzydoll]

I like it, good job. :biggrin5:

[Jesterhead]

i liked it, except for 'your love like leaves on a tree, is darling the best part of me'. The leaves on a tree part doesn't really make sense, not to me. But I could be enlightened.

[RaoulDuke]

Have you by any chance listened to that Bette Midler song, The Rose recently? Your poem reminded me of it (which is a good thing).


i liked it, except for 'your love like leaves on a tree, is darling the best part of me'. The leaves on a tree part doesn't really make sense, not to me. But I could be enlightened.

I thought of this line as a reference to chlorophyl and the leaves being the source of energy and vitality for the rest of the tree - the person who is the subject of this poem gives the writer energy and makes them get up in the morning.

[J.D. Sparks]

Lovely central idea in the poem. However, your final two lines have very odd syntax, which strikes me as a bit out of line with the rest of the poem. It's hard to even have "Darling" in there at all because you've already addressed your other as you, and no matter where you put it darling seems superfluous. I assume it's there because you're trying to keep a rhythm going on the final stanza. If you really want to keep it there, I'd sincerely recommend punctuating the lines differently so they're easier to read. For example:

"Your love, like the leaves on a tree,
is, darling, the best part of me."

On the other hand, you could just leave out darling and make the whole final stanza less consistent in its rhyth, (since the first stanza isn't rhythmically consistent anyways).

Nice poem overall.