In a Taxi in Suriname

[hack]

What is your name brother?
I am Jean-Paul.
You are named for two good men.
Saints sir.
Yes, necessarily dead. Saints, I mean.
They are still as scented death.
Yes sir.
When I was a child, Jean-Paul...
Yes sir.
When I was just a child
and watched a baby sister die,
I wore Gucci frames.
Donated by or to some saint,
I don't know which.
And though I saw her clearly,
through that prism,
she did not know me,
at the end.
It must have been the frames.

[PrinceMyshkin]

There is some deep sadness to this that is apparent on first reading and, I suspect, might grow even deeper on re-reading.

Was "scented death" a deliberate mimicking of his pidgin English, a substitute for "sainted death"?

[MorpheusSandman]

This one really grabbed me but I'm at a bit of a loss to tell you why. It seems to begin as if its replicating a conversation, but as it progressed it seems to become more like a lamentable monologue. Really moving, hack.

[lallison]

I enjoyed this too. I got a bit confused by the dialogue the first reading, but the second reading clears it up. This one, actually, begs for a second reading, and a third and fourth as well. Although clearly sad, for me it was also enigmatic.

[Hawkman]

What can I say? Your economy of expression is always so moving.

[hillwalker]

Interesting piece.

I read it yesterday but could not make head nor tail of it (so I felt unable to comment and let those wiser than me cast their pearls)

Now, having returned to it, I realise that my error was in seeing it as a monologue. In fact it seems to make more sense as a conversation between taxi driver and passenger perhaps?
The early short, single line snippets draw the reader in, anxious to eavesdrop in order to decypher what is being said. Then the longer, penultimate spurt of imagery regarding the Gucci frames is very much like one of them confessions passed on to you in confidence from a stranger that you would rather not have been party to.

And the final line echoes the sense of agreeing in order not to appear foolish while yet not understanding everything that has just passed.

Perhaps I have totally missed the point of your poem, hack. Apologies if so, but this is only one of very many possible interpretations and I'm sticking to it.

Great stuff.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Interesting piece.

I read it yesterday but could not make head nor tail of it (so I felt unable to comment and let those wiser than me cast their pearls)

Now, having returned to it, I realise that my error was in seeing it as a monologue. In fact it seems to make more sense as a conversation between taxi driver and passenger perhaps?
The early short, single line snippets draw the reader in, anxious to eavesdrop in order to decypher what is being said. Then the longer, penultimate spurt of imagery regarding the Gucci frames is very much like one of them confessions passed on to you in confidence from a stranger that you would rather not have been party to.

And the final line echoes the sense of agreeing in order not to appear foolish while yet not understanding everything that has just passed.

Perhaps I have totally missed the point of your poem, hack. Apologies if so, but this is only one of very many possible interpretations and I'm sticking to it.

Great stuff.

It will of course be up to Hack to confirm or correct this interpretation, but what a tribute it is nevertheless to how a poem - this poem - can deeply intrigue one and lead, possibly, to create one's own imagined poem out of what the author provided.

[Bar22do]

This one moved me deeply, hack, it's original, so fine. Like it happens with some taxi drivers and no-man-land situations, the passenger seems to slip into a moment of "regression" as if to exorcise the haunting vision of his little sister dying when he too were still only a child... Poignant and powerful "little" poem, hack. Thanks so much - Bar

[hack]

Thanks All,
I am not sure that it is a poem. I hope that it at least contains one. Qimi and 5th Element have encouraged me that it might be a poem. Prince I did not think of "sainted death" but I think that I will take credit for it. It is meant to be an enigma. The speakers are not clearly defined. Is it a driver and a single fare, and if so which is which? It might be two people sharing a cab and the driver only listening in. We do not even know the sex of the principle speaker. Hillwalker touches on the likely reading of the piece. I had not considered that the final line could be spoken by Jean-Paul. There is also the idea of the chain of consciousness confessional of the taxi. Thank you Bar, you are pure inspiration. Thank you all for your reads ...peace...

[paperleaves]

Very moving... I especially liked "Donated by or to some saint,
/I don't know which."

love
Paper

[hack]

Thank you Paper.
It was just ambiguous enough.
...peace...