Cutbacks

[hillwalker]

C~TBACKS


Contrary to widespread spec~lation in the media
the government repeats it has no c~rrent plans in mind
to withdraw the letter ‘U’ from circ~lation.

We are none of ~s imm~ne.
We will share the common b~rden;
both the pr~dent and the profligate.

B~t meas~res are being taken as we speak
in order to restrict the freq~ency of vowels in our day-to-day vocab~lary.

With reference to syllables
a mandatory ~pper limit*
will apply to all words
~sed in parliamentary docmentation.

S~bject to approval, and whr prcticl,
all wrds in c~rrent circulation will be shrtnd
and we feel ecnmies of 10% cn b achvd.

G~idlines will be iss~d shrtly
both for schls and for smll bsnesses
in ordr to elimnte
~ncssry ~se of wrds in prnt.

And as a tmpry mes~re, with imdiate efct,
al non-govmntal pblcations,
s~ch as books of pros and potry,
wil no longer b prmitd.

It is essntl evry one of ~s attemts to meet these trgts.

:rage:

(*4 as of 17/05/10 – s~bject to change)

[dizzydoll]

http://serve.mysmiley.net/animated/anim_09.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net) That is so funny Walker, the place is definitely falling apart right in front of our eyes. It wont be long before SMS text talk will be the way ahead, so we'd better get used to it.

The larger print fits well with your theme too.

[Hawkman]

Nice one hill.

I am reminded of a wonderful James Thurber short story for children called, "The Wonderful 'O'." In this story treasure seeking pirates invaded a fairy-tale land looking to steal gold and jewells and they also stole the letter O from the language. This story also contains the wonderful line, "I'll thrupple your squgg until all you can wupple is geep!" a line delivered to a querrelous parrot whose squgg was duly thruppled. and was followed by the line, "Geep, wuppled the parrot."

It was a story reolent with criticism of the House of Un American Activities committee.

Best, H

[hillwalker]

Thank you both - it was my little post-election rant. Very m~ch tong~e-in-cheek.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This reminded me of two things: GB Shaw's campaign to reform English spelling. As an example of its irrationality he demonstrated how "ghoti" could be pronounced "fish".

The other is the novel La Disparition, by Georges Perec, written entirely without the letter "e". It wasn't omitted; it's just that there were no words in it that contained an "e". Nor was this done as an act of virtuosity. An explanation I read somewhere is that Perec, a Jew, had lost all his family in the Holocaust. The pronunciation of "e" in French sounds very much like the French for "they" or "them;" hence the novel was written without them.

There is an English translation, also without any words that contain "e". I have been contemplating a novel that would be written with nothing but "e"s.

[hillwalker]

Thanks Prince - the mind boggles at the difficulties involved.

We manage in Welsh without the letters J, K, Q, V, X and Z in our alphabet (but add a few odd extras- Ch, Dd, Ff, Ll, Rh and Th - all classed as a single letter).
But vowels are a different matter altogether.

[blank|verse]

Nice work, hillwalker Ann Duffy! Have yourself a glass of sherry.

The absence of 'u' of course suggests there's no 'you' in government. (Although isn't Cameron's 'Big Society' all about 'you' and me? If it ever happens....) And behind all this is Orwell's Newspeak, of course. Good stuff.

[dizzydoll]

The absence of 'u' of course suggests there's no 'you' in government.

Of course I never saw it till you brought it up. Theres no 'you' in any government its all 'them'.

This gives this poem 100% now. lol. Its gonna be difficult to top this, but we expect, so theres no excuse. :biggrin5:

[neilgee]

So relevant to those of us in public sector jobs who know that the c_tbacks could mean more than just a wage c_t, and yet you managed to make it entertaining. I doff my cap to you for that feat, H.

[hillwalker]

Thanks g~ys, and gal......
And BV, well spotted on my choice of vowel - on the ball as ever, sir.

Glad it gave ~ all something to smile abo~t.

H

[MorpheusSandman]

Very inventive. Not j~st beca~se of the absence of ~, b~t beca~se of how it's framed as a kind of mandatory declaration.

[lallison]

This was great! Reminded me immediately of 1984, as has been mentioned. Also, I love the office memo format that emphasizes, ironically, how to take the creativity out of anything, almost. It's also reminiscent of Fahrenheit 451 in regards to how printing stops and individual thought does along with it. No need for imagery in this piece, it works perfectly as it is. And your voice identically resembles a robot, completely void of personality. Its beautiful!

[hillwalker]

Thank you Morpheus and lallison.

As you will have noticed, following the counter-revolution 'u' has been restored to its rightfyl place.....

oops

H

[Bar22do]

C~TBACKS


Contrary to widespread spec~lation in the media
the government repeats it has no c~rrent plans in mind
to withdraw the letter ‘U’ from circ~lation.

We are none of ~s imm~ne.
We will share the common b~rden;
both the pr~dent and the profligate.

B~t meas~res are being taken as we speak
in order to restrict the freq~ency of vowels in our day-to-day vocab~lary.

With reference to syllables
a mandatory ~pper limit*
will apply to all words
~sed in parliamentary docmentation.

S~bject to approval, and whr prcticl,
all wrds in c~rrent circulation will be shrtnd
and we feel ecnmies of 10% cn b achvd.

G~idlines will be iss~d shrtly
both for schls and for smll bsnesses
in ordr to elimnte
~ncssry ~se of wrds in prnt.

And as a tmpry mes~re, with imdiate efct,
al non-govmntal pblcations,
s~ch as books of pros and potry,
wil no longer b prmitd.

It is essntl evry one of ~s attemts to meet these trgts.

:rage:

(*4 as of 17/05/10 – s~bject to change)


It ends up somewhere in the intestinal labyrinths doesn't it, swallowed rather hard...
It reads beautifully! And a great fun, with that.
I read it after the feast is over, but thus have it all for myself!
(wasn't around for a few days)

With delight (but also with horror of one who grew up in a totalitarian regime) - for everything else was said - Bar!

[hillwalker]

Thank you Bar - no matter how late, your comments always appreciated.
Totalitarianism - we just never know what might be around the corner regardless of how safe we feel living in a so-called democracy.