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Jesterhead
05-16-2010, 08:26 AM
In a mighty hall of dark polished beings,
I stand whispering, waiting to scream out loud.
The wonderous challing bells, restrained for the recievings,
A red dice falls from a hand within the screaming crowd.

As with one voice a scream is heard from a thousand tongues,
The curtain in front, slowly lents the folds for the voice within.
As the grey light, starts to demper, to show whom the voice truly belongs,
Five black dressed men with white paled skin, walks in.

As a white light, realms the dark crowded room,
Through the balmy air of the eternal voluminous night.
A frantic fire, rhymes the cast of a pale-faced moon,
With two fingers raised on each hand, I ring out my delight.

Along with the massive crowd of a thousand smiling faces,
With raised arms screams out their affright with desperate desire.
The tell tale dice, still rolls on the floor around moving feet of distant places,
To show the world the madder, of what is truly dead to a denire.

The voice of a hundred whispers, to tell the terrors of despair,
To compare every sound, that floats within their throats groan.
A roam of clangor horror, to outpour the palpitating air,
To feel the glory of the crowd, all alone, in the muffled monotone.

As upon a world of merriment, their melody foretells,
With a crystalline delight, of icy air casted through an adorn blue light.
Which cast the shade above the stage, of the roaming wells,
That swells the deaf crowd, through the fire of the decieving night.

Then still the red dice rolls among liquor within silence,
As within the dancing crowd that kept time in a Runic rhyme.
For not to be stopped within the raddle of the moshpit violence,
Of dead men, who pushes the next one, in the line.

Then the neon green light on the stage, roams the screams of loud dreams,
As the sweat pours down from a thousand turbulent faces.
Which shakes the lighted room, to again to pursuive waterised streams,
The drums that with tumult bled the tones red, in loud alarum places.

To make the heavy clinger, flooded the crowd from ear to ear,
Linger the fire within, a dramatic tale of a dice on the floor.
That rolls between bare feet, which is now all shaking in fear,
For the simple question that lies within a resolute endeavor.

Which now seems to end the pursuit tale of the dice,
Just lies waiting for shaking hands to make it be read.
Now stops brad on the wooden floor, to make me realize,
That in the long run, we are all dead.

MorpheusSandman
05-16-2010, 10:45 PM
Geez, I have no idea what to make of this piece. Ostensibly, it appears structured with its consistent stanzas and balanced line, but reading it gives the impression that it's mostly surrealistic. The fragment sentences and nonsensical words seem to communicate in some strange realm of dream logic. There are definite motifs and concepts running through it though, so in a way it feels like a coherent poem punctured by outbreaks of chaos. It takes a bit of a work to get through, but once I reach the end I really felt like you'd taken me through something, as bizarre as the trip was. I'd love to hear about your thought/creative process behind this.

Jesterhead
05-17-2010, 05:09 PM
thanks, this was written after a metal concert, as you can see several semantic schematics throughout the poem, stage, drums, crowd, moshpit etc. The dice is a metaphor for the subconsiousness that lies within everyone, Memento Mori. Remember you must die. It is pretty much a phrase to live life to the fullest, because in the long run, we are all dead. It was important to me to be very describtive with the imagery, to put the reader through a story where everything changes constantly.

hillwalker
05-17-2010, 05:55 PM
Jesterhead, now you include an explanation for what motivated you to create such a complex and vivid piece it is easier to appreciate what you were writing about.
Without this I felt totally unable to relate to it, and so unqualified to post any comment, other than to marvel at your breadth of vocabulary (real and imaginary).

Better now you have translated it into something approachable.

H

MorpheusSandman
05-17-2010, 10:09 PM
What metal concert, Jester? I'm a huge fan of the genre myself. Anyway, I feel this is one I could read over and over and not quite get a handle on. But it's so rich that I don't think I really care!

Jesterhead
05-18-2010, 10:14 AM
It wasn't my intention to make you feel unable to relate, so I am pleased that you now find it approachable after my translation.

It was 'The darkest tour', with Septic Flesh, Gorgoroth and Cradle Of Filth. It was an awesome concert, and it inspired me for this piece.

MorpheusSandman
05-19-2010, 02:18 AM
Never heard of Septic Flesh. I quite like what I've heard from Gorgoroth, though Cradle of Filth too often strikes me as a very commercialized (as possible) version of black metal.

Jesterhead
05-19-2010, 03:59 PM
yea Cradle of Filth is way too commercialized, though i like a lot of their old songs. They have an amazing live act together with Gorgoroth. I usually listens to a lot of Melodic Death metal like In Flames. But mostly bands like Winterhorde, Wintersun and folk metal like Equlibrium and Korpiklaani.

MorpheusSandman
05-19-2010, 11:46 PM
I loved In Flames older stuff, back when they epitomized the best of melodic death. They kinda went the commercialized Cradle of Filth way too. I also like what I've heard of Wintersun and Equilibium though I haven't heard terribly much. As far as metal goes, my last few obsessions have been Emperor, Weakling (Dead as Dreams is a masterpiece; pick it up if you haven't), and Opeth. Though I seem to be getting more and more into classical these days.

Jesterhead
05-22-2010, 10:59 AM
I don't think In Flames became commercialized, I just think they evolved as the band members got older and more mature, so does the music. I should pick up some Emperor albums, I haven't been listening to them very much.

MorpheusSandman
05-22-2010, 11:56 PM
Pretty much everything Emperor did is essential. In the Nightside Eclipse and Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk are pretty much the epitome of symphonic black metal, IX Equilibreum gets overlooked but is thoroughly solid. Their masterpiece, however, is Prometheus: The Discipline of Fire and Demise, which is as dense, complex, and aesthetically overwhelming as any music I've ever heard in any genre.