I Left Behind the Flower

[NisreenS]

I have seen many roads
And people and wheels
I felt the sour of travel
I know what it feels
I left behind the flower
That up the sunny way kneels
And went away
And left behind the flower

I saw men talking
Carrying sticks and walking
They looked tired and cold
I saw the men, and went away
And left behind the flower

I left behind the flower
Watered by the rain
Its leaves shivered with loneliness
And dullness and pain.

[MorpheusSandman]

It's a shame this poem has gotten overlooked in the apparent flood of new pieces that are on litnet today, but I think it's a superb little gem. Quite lyrical and melancholic and very introspective. I'm not quite sure how to read it though; Is it a "stop and smell the roses" kind of theme? I can definitely see that, especially with the dominating theme of travel. But I can also see it being about slowing ourselves down so we can think about those around us. The only thing I'd suggest is to remove the last two lines of the first stanza which seem to ruin the musicality in their repetitiveness.

[NisreenS]

Thank you very much. It is not a " stop and smell the rose" theme as much as "stop traveling and stay beside the rose forever". The image of the flower in the last stanza shivering with loneliness and dullness suggests that it needs someone to take care of it an don't leave it to be watered by the rain only. The second stanza describes the sad situation of people, or may be travelers, who the speaker meets in his travels. I think you are right, the last two lines of the first stanza can be easily removed, and the poem will read:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have seen many roads
And people and wheels
I felt the sour of travel
I know what it feels
I left behind the flower
That up the sunny way kneels

I saw men talking
Carrying sticks and walking
They looked tired and cold
I saw the men, and went away
And left behind the flower

I left behind the flower
Watered by the rain
Its leaves shivered with loneliness
And dullness and pain

[hillwalker]

I do prefer this poem (the edited version) to your more classical piece I commented on yesterday.

There is a dignified sadness about it, not just focussing on the plight of the rose left to fend for itself in the rain, but also the travellers who are forced to leave it behind.
It reminds me of stories one hears of refugees having to leave behind everything they cherish.

A fine poem

H

[NisreenS]

I like the edited version as will (thanks to MorpheusSandman). Though the two poems talk about traveling, there is a big difference between them. Thank you very much for your comments on both poems.