The Saddest Season

[hillwalker]

The Saddest Season


the cold currency of winter
weighs heavy on our heads

a slow whiplash of regret
as we scan the darkening sky

the slam of clanging metal
as our cell doors shut on life

the tortured wind
the gusting scrape of hail no consolation

we are locked down
we bow our heads to contemplate and compromise

the longest night brings comfort still
when we all share this final ferry home

[PrinceMyshkin]

What I admire most of all in this is the stoicism of each separate line. There is courage in the absolute absence of complaining or seeking for sympathy - either for the speaker, or for us.

[dizzydoll]

Invariably I will probably get your poem all wrong, but let me try.

It looks like you regret winter returning, "as we scan the darkening sky". But there is no escaping your incarceration into winter, leaving you with nothing but your thoughts and considerations while you wait it out -- for summers return.

The longest night tells of the shortness of the journey to come, "when we all share this final ferry home" to the growth of summer again.

I'm probably completely wrong, if so, be kind and explain.

You see, now I dont want to push Submit, but I will...

[hillwalker]

@Prince - thanks for your welcome feedback as usual. Just a few thoughts I had flying around inside my head late last night. It finished up coming out as you say - as an acceptace of our lot in life.

@dizzy - you might be amazed to realise how close you are to hitting this nail right on the head. The idea for the poem arose from a conversation with a local nurse who happened to say depression caused by long winter nights (SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder - the clue is in the title) is particularly prevalent in Northern Scotland.
And then there followed the realisation we are all in the same boat- not just in sharing this particular syndrome but in enduring (or enjoying) life itself.

Thank you both for responding.

H

[Hawkman]

Hi hill,

I loved this. Strangely though, I find the sound of hail (or rain) on my window particularly comforting. I love lying in bed listeing to it as I fall asleep. I must be a natural hibernator! :D

Best H

[qimissung]

Really Prince said it so well. Your words are authoritative and moving, you captured well the tone of sadness and resignation without devolving into self-pity. Your metaphors are astute and not belabored. And there you have it, a work of art, small and affecting. I have felt the dark hand of winter on my shoulder many a time, and can quite easily relate to this.

[hillwalker]

@Hawk - you are so right. It gives a sense of being cocooned in a separate world - but as I say, it is 'no consolation' when you know the sound signifies winter closing in all around - and you are probably going to get up to more frozen pipes!

@qimissung - if I'm honest I have very happy memories of being snowbound when a child - but of course as we grow older we see things from a different perspective. Thanks for your kind words.

[Delta40]

what a gifted poet you are! I recoil further into the warmth of my own self with each line I read. Get me a hot water bottle now!

[hillwalker]

What? Do they actually have need of such things down under???

[PrinceMyshkin]

It is odd to me that no one (including the author of it) has remarked on the final lines, where the ferry may be operated by Charon and the body of water may be the river Styx?

[Bar22do]

Hill, this is moving, good. And sad.
"a slow whiplash of regret" caught me entirely.
There is no consolation though if we know to ask the many right questions, life fills up and it is in a middle of one of them that we suddenly notice that ferry has taken us "on the other side"... - but whether it is home or --- is another question.
Interesting, thanks so much. And my usual best regards - Bar

[MorpheusSandman]

As someone who always tends to suffer from SAD I can definitely feel that spirit in this piece. I guess I'll add my voice to the choir of praise. It's quite affecting in its brevity and, as Prince said, stoicism.

[lallison]

It's a good poem for sure, and I think PM's brief comments sums up its great strength. I really loved dizzydolls interpretation too. It was quite poetic in its own right.

so, here is the "but." I've gotten accustomed to reading some very unique and original stuff from you, and this one doesn't fit that description. This is hardly the first time I've heard winter used to set a mood of despair, and I dare say it won't be the last. Each well crafted individual line adds up to a cliche'. In that sense, your whole is less than the sum of its parts.

Still, I enjoyed reading it, as I do all your work. lal

[hillwalker]

@Prince - so you spotted why I used the word 'ferry' - and no, I made no comment; let the reader discover some of the allusions for him/her-self (or not, as the case may be).

@Bar - I was anxious not to over-emphasize the after-life since everyone's interpretation is different - so going 'home' seemed to suggest a gentle surrender to our fate.

@Morpheus - SAD, a very fitting acronym. Glad you found the poem to your liking.

@lallison - I had been expecting a 'but' right from the moment I posted this, so thank you. This is not my usual style - or subject matter. I tend to be far more specific in what I write about and probably more adventurous in how I go about it.
This little poem was just a spur-of-the-moment piece - written then posted while the ink was wet on the paper.
And it was not my intention to describe despair - I think acceptance of one's lot was what I had in mind. Once winter shuts that door you just hunker down and sit it out.

Thanks all of you for your responses - welcome as ever.

[Lumiere]

Hill - I love how simply you capture that Winter Feeling and how it is eased a little by the commonality of a ferry ride.

And now that I have recognized you're in Scotland, I automatically hear all your poems in a Scottish accent, and it's way cool. :nod:

[blank|verse]

Well, just as things are beginning to warm up (at least in my part of Britain) a reminder of winter! Cheers for that hillwalker!

It's an effective poem, but maybe there's a bit too much going on metaphorically; and although I suppose it's a familiar theme, I think it's inventive enough to avoid being 'cliched'.

(And the whole poem reminds me I must read some more George Mackay Brown!)

The longer lines towards the end stick out a bit. Before that, the lines have three or four stresses. The line 'the tortured wind' has two and seems to mark a rhythmic shift to the conclusion, and suggests the proceeding lines will be shorter, expressing less, something like:

the tortured wind
the gusting scrape

we are locked down
heads bowed

And surely Autumn is 'the saddest season'?

[hillwalker]

Well, BV, we had a smattering of snow here on Tuesday believe it or not.

And yes, Autumn is the saddest season, but not the SADdest medically speaking.

As for the form of the poem, the lengthening lines were not chosen specifically to suggest the lengthening hours of darkness, but who knows how a poem presents itself? In this case it was merely a short scribble on a scrap of paper.

One of my favourite poets, Norman MacCaig was often asked how long it took him to write a poem. He would reply..... one cigarette for a short one, and two for a longer piece. I'm not a smoker, but I'm sure you get the message.

and Lumiere, thanks for your kind words.
I hate to burst your bubble, but I am living in exile from Wales so my accent is more Dylan Thomas than Sean Connery (or even Rab C Nesbitt). But I am developing a bit of a Highland lilt so give it time.

H

[Lumiere]

and Lumiere, thanks for your kind words.
I hate to burst your bubble, but I am living in exile from Wales so my accent is more Dylan Thomas than Sean Connery (or even Rab C Nesbitt). But I am developing a bit of a Highland lilt so give it time.

H

Dylan. Thomas.
DYLAN THOMAS?!
I wish he would narrate my life.
His voice alone is a subject worthy of poetry! Like quaking tree-roots!
Alright, now I will hear your poems via Dylan Thomas - which is even cooler.

[hillwalker]

Well, Lumiere...... imagine Dylan Thomas with a little Scouse (John Lennon-ish) thrown in if I'm honest. Am I getting cooler still???