Love

[Delta40]

I love you anyway

mother, whose arms are too shy
to draw me close and sigh
mother, who lingers at the fringe
offering up constant everyday things
mother, whose hands are cold
from childhood dreams turned old
mother, who drinks to give cheer
to dreaded mountains of fear

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm with you, heart and soul - until the last line, which feels constructed only in order to provide the couplet rhyme. Better, if you could, to provide an example of that fear rather than assert "dreaded mountains of..." which, after all, means nothing more than a lot, a whole lot of...

[Buh4Bee]

This is nice. Mothers can be perfect, but we love them anyway.

Mother's Day is tomorrow in the states.

[Delta40]

You're probably right. This was an off the cuff verse which I haven't given much thought. now it is out there.


Mother, whose arms are too shy
to draw me close and sigh
Mother, who lingers at the fringe
offering up constant everyday things
Mother, whose hands are cold
from childhood dreams turned old
Mother,who covers her ears
to the abuses I suffered here
Mother who drinks everyday
I love you anyway

[MorpheusSandman]

I think I prefer the second, though both of these are wonderfully compact and somehow capture the often complex relationships we have not just with our mothers but all of our family.

[Hawkman]

Good poem D40. The revised final couplet changes one's entire perception of the poem. To be honest I think they are both good. H