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[paperleaves]

the ceiling fan rotates
around the old white chairs
that clutter the front porch.
a young artist sketches blueprints of
a novel involving a topiary garden, two young lovers, and a
slim red-haired widow that runs a laundromat.
her pen scribbles segments of dialogue,
drafts of descriptive scenery, and
pointless interludes and pathetic character flaws.
she struggles a bit, posing the question all artists yearn to answer but none will ask--
what is it that a reader aches for? is it a profound, divine transcript
of the hopeless inquisitions
that antiquate the soul?
of course the work must be crafted to be
aesthetically pleasing, she scoffs, entering the house with white slippers on,
as to not soil the clean hardwood floor.
she scuffs to the kitchen, in the summer heat,
pondering her audience.
why is it
that they aren't satisfied with reading
snapshots of man's greatest achievements:
a rail station, a flat that holds hot water, fire, and soup,
a hospital, a traffic light, a bicycle, even the holy ink
and the paper itself
but prefer the supernatural,
the intangible, unanswerable questions of the universe?
perhaps it is fear that consumes admiration, because,
after all
even crouching gods look like giants

[MorpheusSandman]

You know, being a cinema buff this piece kinda reminded me of the director that you frequently strike me as and that's Eric Rohmer. Rohmer had a very unique method of being both incredibly visual while also being very literary. He would frequently play a scene out visually, but have a voice-over on top of it that would be discussing the inner thoughts of the character or commenting on the scene, or something like that. So you're always getting two levels of information; there's the visual, and the commentary. That's what pieces like this strike me as. You suck us in with the visual as you set the scene of a rotating fan, white chairs, a porch, a young writer thinking about their "sketch". I can practically see the camera tilting from the fan as it pans down to the writer. Then you take us from that visual image to the inner world of the writer. That mediation between the tangible and the abstract is one thing I frequently admire in your poetry. Very Rohmer-esque.

[Sea in Side]

You captured the pain of the writer and kept my eyes moving with a steady quick pace. Great job.

[tailor STATELY]

Beautiful piece, paperleaves.

"after all
even crouching gods look like giants" a wonderfully crafted ending.

[hillwalker]

I agree with Morpheus - like all your brilliant work it has a cinematic quality (but we're talking French cinema - where every scene is meticulously constructed and given time to breathe - not the block-buster mayhem of Hollywood).

I love reading your lines and never fail to find something new to linger over.

Thanks for sharing your reveries.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hillwalker's description of this and virtually every one of your pieces: "where every scene is meticulously constructed and given time to breathe" strikes me as so apt. There's something of a change in this, or has it been coming, to a more adult you, that is, one is more prepared to take a bit more distance from the realities you immerse yourself in, to stand back a bit and make judgments on them.

And I agree too that the closing line is masterful!

[paperleaves]

Thank you so much, friends! I was inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday evening and it prompted me to write this. Glad I did :)


love
Kate

[Bar22do]

This is definitely your best (with all the others!), musing on human preferences - need of great escapes from 'reality' while a fan, a chair, in poetry, can hint or become keys to supernatural dimensions of the universe... Vital like spring.

[Hawkman]

Very nice, paper, I'm definitely a fan, but not a ceiling fan, and I have a paunch, not a porch! God I hate getting old. :D

[Buh4Bee]

Well, can I jump on the band wagon. You have great inspiration.

[blank|verse]

A very enjoyable, thoughtful and readable piece, paper - you really seem to have trademarked this style.

I liked the oblique 'scoffs - scuffs' internal rhyme / echo, and the whole poem is nicely achieved.

I think, now and then, you should watch your rhythms and lineation, there are some odd line breaks that don't really add anything to the poem. Don't feel you have to put them in just to make it look 'poetic'; if you feel something isn't working, change the words themselves, not how they fit on the page. (Not that there's anything here that needs changing drastically.)

And readers of Rilke (and others) might disagree they 'aren't satisfied with reading | snapshots of man's greatest achievements'.

But always a pleasure to read your poems.