Son to Sun

[MorpheusSandman]

From a son to a sun,
Why do you run?
To sit on the edge
Of a world you don’t love?
You’ve always got
The moon at your back
Just come and illume
Life for the living
Who fear the dark night
And all its misgivings.

From a sun to a son,
Why do you stay?
To live on inside
Of interminate day?
You’ve always got
Cold death at your heels
Just move and embrace
Life for the living
Don’t fear the dark night
And all your misgivings.

[blazeofglory]

From a son to a sun,
Why do you run?
To sit on the edge
Of a world you don’t love?
You’ve always got
The moon at your back
Just come and illume
Life for the living
Who fear the dark night
And all its misgivings.

From a sun to a son,
Why do you stay?
To live on inside
Of interminate day?
You’ve always got
Cold death at your heels
Just move and embrace
Life for the living
Don’t fear the dark night
And all your misgivings.


I like your philosophy of life so much in point of fact. All else is ephemeral like mayflies and all else will be over in a while and nothing we esteem or value in life will survive the saber teeth and nails of time and we have our limited numbers of years and after that we will see nothing but vacuums. Here we have monumental ambitons and after a short while everything will end up.

I like to make the most of what is in store for us and we will have to depart at the end of the day

Yes this is a beautifully written poem.

[MorpheusSandman]

Thanks very much, blaze. :)

[dizzydoll]

I liked this. :biggrin5:

[tailor STATELY]

I don't pretend to understand - but I like your poem.

I love the word 'illume'.

What of Icarus ? Dead, alas.

[Alexander III]

This is one of those poems which I shall be honest and say I do not understand... however the emotion it invokes in me is beautiful and for that it is a great poem... for poetry should reach emotion not mind... nonetheless this is a beaut Morph... bravo !!!

[blank|verse]

This is nicely done, Morpheus, simple but thoughtful 'carpe diem' poem.

And rather Metaphysical, with a suggestion of Marvell's 'Coy Mistress' about this line:

Cold death at your heels
although it does stray close to cliche as well.

I wasn't sure about this:

You’ve always got
The moon at your back
isn't the opposite true?

And I'm not sure what you mean by 'interminate'. Do you mean 'interminable'? But that seems contrary to what is being expressed.

Anyhow, nice job overall.

[MorpheusSandman]

Thanks to all. Of all the comments I expected I might get, not being able to understand this wasn't really one of them! This is really (I thought) one of my more explicit pieces in terms of themes. It's basically homeostasis VS transistasis with some ironic twists via the perspective of the interlocutors.

@B/V: I used a few cliches because I really didn't want originality to get in the way of the piece's simplistic symmetry. So "cold death", "dark night", "at your heels/back" were more or less intentional. RE, "Isn't the opposite true", it is; it's one of the pieces ironies. But, then again, it's kinda matter of perspective. I very specifically chose "interminate" because it has a double meaning. See HERE (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/interminate?o=100084&qsrc=2871&l=dir)

[Bar22do]

I took this one very seriously. Carpe diem, yes, the best advice possible, especially seeing the present lack of any better! But then, in the "son to sun", such a strong claim and protest! (as I read): let the powers be shaken, we can only gain and have nothing to lose...
You seem to have come back with plenty of inspiration, MS. Chapeau! and thanks as always - Best rgds - Bar

[MorpheusSandman]

As always, thanks for your insightful and sensitive reading, Bar. Yes, carpe diem was definitely a theme of the piece, but also with a note of not being afraid to go to edge to really be able to achieve that. I don't know about coming back with a lot of inspiration; my inspiration's been pretty dry for the last several months. Moving Mountains and Son to Sun were two pieces that have been floating around in my head in different forms for months.

[blank|verse]

Thanks for the response, Morpheus.

After reading your intentions behind the poem, I think you just need to be sure what you want to achieve, as at the moment, it seems contradictory.

You say:

I used a few cliches because I really didn't want originality to get in the way of the piece's simplistic symmetry.
But then use the 'ironic':

The moon at your back
[and...]
Of interminate day?
As these things seem the opposite - 'original' and not cliches. I think it's asking a lot of a reader to presume you meant these things 'ironically' - and then to understand them - and not just see them as mistakes or as being poorly expressed, particularly in such a 'simple' piece.

[MorpheusSandman]

My point was that the cliches themselves bring a simplicity and easy understanding to the surface of what's being expressed. Any reader will instantly understand what "Moon at your back", "Dark night", and "Cold Death" implies, so they aren't tasked with lingering on the semantics or original adjective/noun combinations which might give them an original impression of what's being said. I think if it's kept simple on this surface level it's then easier to approach it on an ironic level precisely because of that simplicity. If the language or form itself was complicated it would obscure that even more.

Perhaps the most obvious example is in the first two lines: "From a son to a sun / Why do you run?" Ten monosyllabic words, 4 feet, all easily understood on a surface level. But if you think about it for just a moment you might say "wait a minute... the sun doesn't "run" anywhere! Only from the perspective of someone observing it". So that's essentially what I mean by wanting to be simple on one level while ironic and contradictory on another. Perhaps a device I (unconsciously?) stole from Jane Austen.