MelsToast
04-28-2010, 10:51 AM
So this my first time posting here.
Someone asked me how a perfect day would look to me and I kind of lost myself its not long but I wanted to share it with the forum and get some real criticism. Please forgive me mistakes in the text.
A perfect day would start at 8:00 when I get up because I want it and not because I have to. Then It would be a nice warm spring day. But not to warm 17 degrees with no wind would be pleasant. Then I would take a stroll in a garden with blooming cherry-trees that are about 3 meters high so that no one could reach for the pink blossoms and the trees would hang full of them. I have the sun on my right as I go down a road made of big stones that are dark but no too dark to see a light blue shimmer about them. I walk along the road without stress or time bothering me. Maybe some nice cello music is playing far in the distance, but nothing too melancholic. Right and left the trees are standing in two rows. A slight breeze blows some blossoms of the trees and they fly over the street in front of me. I stop to pick up a single leaf and let it fly away with the next breeze. And it flies away from me, the trees and the road. And it flies up and you could see the street lying in a green ocean of grass somewhere in east Europe. I keep walking along the road and a carriage is passing me. The driver has a big white mustache and grins at me friendly. I greet him back and look after the carriage and smile as i pass some horse dung that was left by it. I breathe the clean air and the sound of the carriage disappears slowly in the distance. I keep on walking and start to whistle a little song that just came into my head and the cello is quite for a few minutes but as I stop and look up to watch a group of ducks flying in V-formation I also stop to whistle. The road is nice and clean. Between the stone small pieces of grass fight for their survival and my shoes donīt make a sound when i walk. Another carriage is carrying its sound far before it and nears from the front and I start to wonder who might be in it. I imagine a girl in a white summer-dress with Brown hair and dark eyes and a cute nose smiling at me nicely and the carriage passes me and there is no one in it. I feel quite disappointed and sigh and look down and start walking again. I am not as joyful as before and I sigh again. Then a nice voice behind me says "Stop sighing and turn around so I can see your face." I turn around And there the girl with the Dark hair, the dress, the blue eyes and the cute nose stands and smiles at me nicely. I start to smile and she comes near me, grabs my hand and starts to walk beside me and laughs and occasionally looks into my eyes and I can dive into her soul by looking into those beautiful windows in her face. The laughs again and shows me another smile and pulls me along to a sideway leading away from the street. We walk a little while and then she shows me an apple-tree with golden apples hanging from it. She asks me to pick one for her and I climb up the tree and pick an apple for her. I throw it down and she catches it with one hand and laughs and bites into it. I climb down and have brought my own apple with me. As we walk back the sideway I want to eat my apple but she ate hers already and looks at me with that mouth that says " oh please give me that" I canīt resist and give the apple to her and she bites into it, but takes a far to big bite and so she opens her mouth wide to get it in and starts to eat it with a full mouth. I smile and look at the sky through which some small clouds are drifting on their way that only the wind knows. As we come back to the street a rider dashes in front of us and dust is swirling up. I close the girl into my arms to protect her from the dust. As the dust rests upon the street I look at her to check if she is still clean and I see a little bit of dust on her left cheek. I come close to her face and wipe it away with the backside of my index and middle-finger. She smiles at me and I turn away from her, take a step and clean the dust of my clothing and cause my own cloud. But she is still without a stain. She looks me into the eyes and I know that she did not think that was necessary but I say that it was and reach out with my hand. The girl takes it and we wander down the street.
This is how far I can imagine at the moment. I beg you and do not make a fool of yourself by connecting it to yourself the girl given in the story was a creation of my mind as the mother and the moment as the father. It would make me sad to see me suggesting romantic things to you. You have to forgive me my forthrightness but I do not want any misunderstanding to come up. You are free to do with the story whatever you want. In the process of writing it I grew quite fond of it. But what am I saying..... That basically states how a perfect day or a segment of it could be and how I would want it to be on the 27th of April in 2010.
Someone asked me how a perfect day would look to me and I kind of lost myself its not long but I wanted to share it with the forum and get some real criticism. Please forgive me mistakes in the text.
A perfect day would start at 8:00 when I get up because I want it and not because I have to. Then It would be a nice warm spring day. But not to warm 17 degrees with no wind would be pleasant. Then I would take a stroll in a garden with blooming cherry-trees that are about 3 meters high so that no one could reach for the pink blossoms and the trees would hang full of them. I have the sun on my right as I go down a road made of big stones that are dark but no too dark to see a light blue shimmer about them. I walk along the road without stress or time bothering me. Maybe some nice cello music is playing far in the distance, but nothing too melancholic. Right and left the trees are standing in two rows. A slight breeze blows some blossoms of the trees and they fly over the street in front of me. I stop to pick up a single leaf and let it fly away with the next breeze. And it flies away from me, the trees and the road. And it flies up and you could see the street lying in a green ocean of grass somewhere in east Europe. I keep walking along the road and a carriage is passing me. The driver has a big white mustache and grins at me friendly. I greet him back and look after the carriage and smile as i pass some horse dung that was left by it. I breathe the clean air and the sound of the carriage disappears slowly in the distance. I keep on walking and start to whistle a little song that just came into my head and the cello is quite for a few minutes but as I stop and look up to watch a group of ducks flying in V-formation I also stop to whistle. The road is nice and clean. Between the stone small pieces of grass fight for their survival and my shoes donīt make a sound when i walk. Another carriage is carrying its sound far before it and nears from the front and I start to wonder who might be in it. I imagine a girl in a white summer-dress with Brown hair and dark eyes and a cute nose smiling at me nicely and the carriage passes me and there is no one in it. I feel quite disappointed and sigh and look down and start walking again. I am not as joyful as before and I sigh again. Then a nice voice behind me says "Stop sighing and turn around so I can see your face." I turn around And there the girl with the Dark hair, the dress, the blue eyes and the cute nose stands and smiles at me nicely. I start to smile and she comes near me, grabs my hand and starts to walk beside me and laughs and occasionally looks into my eyes and I can dive into her soul by looking into those beautiful windows in her face. The laughs again and shows me another smile and pulls me along to a sideway leading away from the street. We walk a little while and then she shows me an apple-tree with golden apples hanging from it. She asks me to pick one for her and I climb up the tree and pick an apple for her. I throw it down and she catches it with one hand and laughs and bites into it. I climb down and have brought my own apple with me. As we walk back the sideway I want to eat my apple but she ate hers already and looks at me with that mouth that says " oh please give me that" I canīt resist and give the apple to her and she bites into it, but takes a far to big bite and so she opens her mouth wide to get it in and starts to eat it with a full mouth. I smile and look at the sky through which some small clouds are drifting on their way that only the wind knows. As we come back to the street a rider dashes in front of us and dust is swirling up. I close the girl into my arms to protect her from the dust. As the dust rests upon the street I look at her to check if she is still clean and I see a little bit of dust on her left cheek. I come close to her face and wipe it away with the backside of my index and middle-finger. She smiles at me and I turn away from her, take a step and clean the dust of my clothing and cause my own cloud. But she is still without a stain. She looks me into the eyes and I know that she did not think that was necessary but I say that it was and reach out with my hand. The girl takes it and we wander down the street.
This is how far I can imagine at the moment. I beg you and do not make a fool of yourself by connecting it to yourself the girl given in the story was a creation of my mind as the mother and the moment as the father. It would make me sad to see me suggesting romantic things to you. You have to forgive me my forthrightness but I do not want any misunderstanding to come up. You are free to do with the story whatever you want. In the process of writing it I grew quite fond of it. But what am I saying..... That basically states how a perfect day or a segment of it could be and how I would want it to be on the 27th of April in 2010.