a flash behind the eyes

[stephanson]

I watch the light dim, flicker
And once again brighten.
I would say, it reflects the outside surroundings
However my entry into this facility
This room
Limited my knowledge of this
No windows, black walls, a metal bed
And the un-lightened light
Stimulating that of a lightening storm
Striking almost every square meter of my town - combusting
I once was accustomed too
At the end, there was a blackened coating covering throughout
Some was soot and ash
The res was from the flames themselves
Dancing vibrantly as it touched something else
Fuelling, energising once more.
I glance up once more, the room filled with light
From red to orange to a scarlet blue
Like a childish dream
No longer dull, I feel high – light as a feather
I stand upright and proud
An understatement at this point
At a moment of prosperity, I slip
And now in a place of rest, he lay
In a slumbering sleep one might say – for eternity


please leave a comment telling me what you think :)

[yunxin]

calm and true i feel--------------Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

[Jesterhead]

you should correct the grammar, there are some spelling errors and no commas, which has the effect that you read the poem very fast which ruins it a bit.

with that said, I think the imagery was nice, you created an image with you poem, used a lot of colours, movement and surroundings which painted an image and made it powerful for the reader. I liked it.