Alliterative Awfulness.

[Hawkman]

Devilish dichotomy of desire and destination
Revealing revellers, revoltingly recumbent
Corralling couches, chaises, chairs and carpets
Copulating in clandestine corporate clinches,
Shafting slaves in surreptitious salvos,
Stealing stashes, supping sustenance
From free-falling fools of fastidious fate.
When will wickedness wither wistfully, without
Man’s monstrous, monumental milking of Mammon’s
Unrepentant udders. Ultimately unknowable…

[hillwalker]

A rascally piece of ruthless writing - heaven help the one who has to read it out loud though.

H

[Revolte]

I love it, though I will admit I had to read it a couple times. It broke my mind lol like a good version of fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear. That is one way to get people to keep reading your work, make it a challenge lol.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I cannot think what you could not do if you put your mind to it! Reminds me of the novel by Georges Perec, written entirely without the letter "e"! (In that case because he is/was a Jew who'd lost all his family in the holocaust and the French pronounciation of "e" is close to that for "them" - so he wrote the book without them, and it was translated also without an "e" into nglish!

[Hawkman]

My muse, in mufti as an imp
has prompted me these lines to ink
in hope to render satisfaction
to readers of whatever faction!

Thanks Hilwalker, It can be read aloud (if you pace yourself lol).

Revolte, I hope to be worthy of the effort required by the reader to make sense of it! Challenging it may be to read, but strangely it was remarkably easy to write.

Prince, Thank you for your faith in my abilities :) Also thanks for the snippet of trivia - I was unaware of either the author or his work.

Actually the inspiration for alliteration came from a peice I heard on the radio yesterday by a chap translating "the alliterative poem" written about a dream King Arthur had on the way to the Holy Land, and which featured a battle between a dragon from the West and a bear from the East. This isn't in that class, I just wanted to see if I could do it!

Thank you all - H

[dizzydoll]

This isn't in that class, I just wanted to see if I could do it!

No, its better. The world gets better when we take the bits and pieces of many puzzles to create a whole new look.

Excellent, I enjoyed it and was amazed you could carry on its message using repetitive letters in each line. I like it a lot. :biggrin5:

[Hawkman]

Why thank you diz, you're too kind!

H

[blank|verse]

Good effort, Hawkman.

a chap translating "the alliterative poem" written about a dream King Arthur had on the way to the Holy Land,
I'm not sure who that is, but if you haven't read Simon Armitage's superb translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight - another Middle-English alliterative poem, then I advise you to beg, steal or borrow a copy immediately. (Or maybe, buy a copy from your local independent bookseller or borrow a copy from the library at any rate...) I'm sure you'd love Armitage's wit and modern diction - it's very you!

[lallison]

Copulating in clandestine corporate clinches,
Shafting slaves in surreptitious salvos,

Clearly this is the meat of your verse, and the one most worthy of salute.
Rest assured, Hawk, your verse is appreciated by those of us who clearly comprehend its gravity.

Never has the spiritus munti cracked a watermelon upon my head so severely as you have with this masterpiece.

Master, please teach me in your way!

[AuntShecky]

Hawkman, it's hard to find contemporary writers and poets using any literary devices at all, let alone alliteration. For instance, in the early 1970s ovver on these shores, an erstwhile Vice President (who eventually had to leave office in disgrace) railed against hippies by calling them "nattering nabobs of negativity." Spiro Agnew was so fond of using alliteration that it got a bad rep. Not only that, "rhetoric" somehow became associated with the "establishment" and was perceived as somehow "inauthentic." Even after several decades, the use of artful speech and writing is virtually defunct.

Rhetoric, as you well know, was once a skill many wished to master. At one time it was actually taught in school. Perhaps the discipline is still offered in Oxford and Cambridge? You would know better than I.

I'm glad you mentioned hearing about alliteration on the BBC, and that BlankVerse mentioned medieval poetry and perhaps the greatest work of that era, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

This little verse that you've posted is not "awful" at all. In fact, it's witty, clever, and endearing.

[Hawkman]

Hi B/V and thanks for your comments. I must apologise for getting my facts a little wrong when I said, “a chap translating, ‘the alliterative poem’”

The poem is, in fact, “The Alliterative Mort d’ Arthur,” and the chap was indeed Simon Armitage. I am now hooked and determined to read as much of him as I can lay my hands on.

The Program was called, “Here be Dragons” and can be heard on the BBC iplayer at:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00s0h47/Here_Be_Dragons/

lallison, gosh…

I’d hardly call it a masterpiece but it was good fun to write. I am heartily pleased that it found favour with you and the other respondents in this strand. Thanks very much.

Auntie, thanks for dropping in and for your kind words. You know I had quite forgotten about Spiro Agnew, although who could forget Tricky Dicky…

You know I love that phrase, ‘nattering nabobs of negativity…’ oh well, I guess I can’t use them all. As for rhetoric, it is sadly lacking in our contemporary politicians. The media age and the sound bite have rendered them obsolete and it may even be the case that rhetoric requires prolonged attention and concentration to appreciate, which the high-speed, instant-gratification- seeking, climate of today, would render ineffective. The Oxford Debating Society would probably still be holding out though, I suspect.

Thanks again to all of you for your comments,

H

[Il Dante]

in the early 1970s ovver on these shores, an erstwhile Vice President (who eventually had to leave office in disgrace) railed against hippies by calling them "nattering nabobs of negativity." Spiro Agnew was so fond of using alliteration that it got a bad rep. Not only that, "rhetoric" somehow became associated with the "establishment" and was perceived as somehow "inauthentic." Even after several decades, the use of artful speech and writing is virtually defunct.

Great observation! It's really true that rhetoric isn't used perhaps because it is seen as "insincere" or as "demagoguery." That's too bad when one looks back on such masterpieces as the Gettysburg Address or some of Churchill's WWII speeches:

'Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science.

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'

This sort of chilling inspiration was just what Britain needed to face up to the Nazi menace. And if nothing else, it's great literature!

As for Hawkman's piece of potent poesy: I think it can be safely said that this poem is highly alliterative.

[MorpheusSandman]

Hehe, really clever. Kinda reminds me of King Crimson's Elephant Talk:


Talk
It's only talk
Arguments
Agreements
Advice
Answers

Articulate announcements
It's only talk

Talk
It's only talk
Babble
Burble
Banter
Bicker bicker bicker
Brouhaha
Boulderdash
Ballyhoo
It's only talk
Back talk

Talk talk talk
It's only talk
Comments
Cliches
Commentary
Controversy
Chatter
Chit-chat
Chit-chat
Chit-chat

Conversation
Contradiction
Criticism
It's only talk
Cheap talk

Talk
Talk
It's only talk
Debates
Discussions
These are words with a D this time
Dialogue
Dualogue
Diatribe

Dissention
Declamation
Double talk
Double talk

Talk
Talk
It's all talk
Too much talk
Small talk
Talk that trash
Expressions
Editorials
Expugnations
Exclamations
Enfadulations
It's all talk
Elephant talk
Elephant talk
Elephant talk

[Hawkman]

Thanks Morpheus, I hadn't seen or heard of this. Glad you enjoyed it.

Il Dante, Thanks for noticing :biggrin5:

Via con dios, H

[blank|verse]

Cheers for the link to the Radio 4 programme, Hawkman.

I really like Armitage's poetry; but if you're thinking of reading his work, it's only his translation of Gawain and the Green Knight that uses alliteration, his other poetry is mainly free verse (although still very good and worth reading). In fact, his new book of poetry Seeing Stars is released in a few days.