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View Full Version : 21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES 121 to 147



Biggus
04-21-2010, 05:35 AM
# 121

Mary had a little drink
And got pissed as a cricket
She was found in the woods
Showing the boys her thicket

# 122

Mary loved her little lamb
Every single day of course
But most of all on Sunday
With homemade mint sauce

# 123

When I was a bachelor I lived by myself,
but people told me not to get left on the shelf
So I made up my mind and got me a wife
Too late I realised I had surrendered my life

# 124

Cocka doodle doo,
My wife has lost her shoe;
oh what a convenient confidence trick
Just so she can buy some new

# 125

Little Bobby Snooks was fond of his books,
And loved by his mother and father;
But the kind of books, read by Bobby Snooks,
were pornographic in nature

# 126

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
He must be a Liberal Democrat

# 127

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But Humpty Dumpty couldn’t fall
Because he had to wear a safety harness

# 128

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But so Humpty Dumpty wouldn’t fall
He was sent by the head of human resource
On a three week health and safety course

# 129

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
Something to wipe noses
"A-tishue? A-tishue?"
Or if not a hankie

# 130

Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
They had the right approach back then
Blow up the bloody lot

# 131

Oh, Pillykin, Willykin, Winky Wee!
How does the President take his tea?
He takes it with sugar, he takes it with milk,
He takes it in bed wearing pyjamas of silk

# 132

If all the seas were one sea,
What a great sea that would be!
But if all the seas were one sea,
There’d be nowhere for you and me

# 133

I love little pussy,
Now don’t get excited
It’s not that kind of rhyme
That I want to be recited

# 134

Come let's to bed, says Sleepy-head;
Wait a while, says Mo;
Take a blue pill and grab the KY
And we’ll tup before we go.

# 135

Corporal Tim
Was dressed so trim,
He thought them all afraid of him;
But sad to say,
The very first day,
We had a fight,
He died alright,
For lack of equipment, poor Corporal Tim

# 136

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat
I can’t wait till Christmas to eat some of that
Coz I’m on the Atkins diet and that’s a fact
I just hope that I don’t have a heart attack

# 138

Sing a song of Sixth Sense
Haley Joel Osment wonders why
He’s followed every where
By that Bruce Willis guy

# 137

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With there supply of bottled water
What is it with these bloody ramblers?

# 139

Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again,
Stop pissing about Sukey

# 140

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
Oh I hate runny noses
A tissue! A tissue!
No don’t wipe it on your sleeve!

# 141

Curly Locks! Curly locks! Wilt thou be mine?
You’ll have to wash the dishes coz I’m a lazy swine
But I’ll lay you on a cushion and hold you in esteem
And I’ll make love too you until I make you scream

# 142

One misty, moisty, morning,
When rainy was the weather,
There I met a young man
All clothed in leather

All clothed in leather,
Fitted as tight as his skin
How do you wear it?
How do you move in it?
And what is that squeaking?

# 143

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Living in the green wood
With his merry band
And their stolen contraband

They feast and they dine
On stolen food and wine
Then the laughing starts
When Little John farts

# 144

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Living in the green wood
With his merry band
And their stolen contraband

Maid Marion comes no more
To the camp of the out laws
Since she saw the merry band
Skipping around holding hands

# 145

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have good luck.

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have a pin

# 146

See a pin, pick it up
Then you're sure to have good luck,

See a pin, prick yourself
And end up with hepatitis

# 147

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have good luck.
See a pin let it lay,
And you wont be lumbered with a pin all day

Hawkman
04-21-2010, 08:19 AM
You sir, are a very naughty man... :) H

Biggus
04-21-2010, 09:36 AM
Guilty as charged - Thanks

Bar22do
04-21-2010, 09:40 AM
Hawkman said it all, and still - one enjoys your naughty rhymes!

Il Dante
04-21-2010, 11:09 AM
# 121
# 126

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
He must be a Liberal Democrat

# 127

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But Humpty Dumpty couldn’t fall
Because he had to wear a safety harness

# 128

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
But so Humpty Dumpty wouldn’t fall
He was sent by the head of human resource
On a three week health and safety course



Delicious!

Biggus
04-22-2010, 03:58 AM
Thank you all