We Stood In the Light at the Edge of the Graveyard

[The Rider]

Attempting smoke rings
With cheap cigars we forced each other through
We watched our proud creations dissolve
In the headlights of a passing car
To which we made faces
And struck poses of the freshly dead.

But mostly we talked.
He of the Illiad and the folly of man,
I of the overuse of metaphor in today's poetry,
And both
Of how this was not the beginning of our lives,
But the ending of our under-appreciated childhoods.

[hillwalker]

What an intriguing piece - two gods (?) contemplating their creations from a safe distance perhaps? bemused by the empty posturing and foolishness of Mankind? - or just two precocious teenagers taking another stumbling step to maturity?

A clever and amusing image sublimely captured.

[The Rider]

Thanks Walker.

I had intended something closer to the second observation, yet I can now see how well the first one fits.

I guess just another example of how a poet doesn't create a poem, but only conveys it to the page.

[TheFifthElement]

Lovely poem Rider, with an assured voice. It really grabs you from this point on:


And struck poses of the freshly dead.

But mostly we talked.
He of the Illiad and the folly of man,
I of the overuse of metaphor in today's poetry,
And both
Of how this was not the beginning of our lives,
But the ending of our under-appreciated childhoods.

because we've all been there, teetering on the edge, childish, experimenting, sticking the finger up at death and thinking we're invincible and that we know everything and you've really captured that. Very perceptive.

[hillwalker]

I like your observation Rider - that a poem only comes to life when passed on to the reader.

And, of course, when we (or I, certainly) were at the age when we dared to flip the finger at the world we believed we were indeed siperior to everyone else and equal to the gods.

Good stuff.....

[Babyguile]

Post more of your poetry Rider because it's very refreshing. I love how you clearly criticize the over-use of metaphor in modern poetry and there goes Hillwalker diving right into one in his comments :lol:

Anyway...this is a real poem about real issues. It wants to be understood and it wants to communicate.

It is. It did. Post more I love it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I guess just another example of how a poet doesn't create a poem, but only conveys it to the page.

Wisely said and a fitting afterthought to a heartfelt poem.

[The Rider]

Thanks guys!

Dave - I'll get to work on putting some more stuff out, generally post it as I finish it.

[lallison]

I like the title of this one and the first stanza really resonated with me

[D. J. R. Caron]

First of all, I love the title. Second of all, this poem fascinates me. Because the second stanza makes itself very clear, like it's almost too obvious. However, I have absolutely no idea what the first stanza is about. That juxtaposition makes me want to read this over and over, but I've been up all night, so it's probably best that I revisit this later. In any case, nice job, like the poem.

[Lumiere]

I like this a lot.
Superb, self-contained style.