Under the Dogwood Tree

[Dark Muse]

Under the Dogwood Tree

White petals fall as spring snow neath the dogwood tree
the taste of your lips lingers still neath the dogwood tree

Intoxicating aromas of tender blossoms carry me away
to drift to sleep dreamily neath the dogwood tree

Watching lazily in the breeze lithe limbs begin to sway
I inhale the memory of your arms and legs neath the dogwood tree

If only a moment would never fade and could forever stay
instead of blowing in the wind as so many petals neath the dogwood tree

Delicately the shade melts into the warmth of sun in May
while basking under the daytime stars neath the dogwood tree

On a bed of fallen flowers in my arms you once lay neath the dogwood tree
now it is alone I doze in half-regrets and half-content neath the dogwood tree.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I wonder, is this an established form, or have you just invented it - and used it in such a beautiful, haunting way? Congratulations!

[Il Dante]

Thanks for sharing. The language is very powerful and eloquent. Beautiful to read.

It succeeds in bringing the reader into a particular mood and feeling of beauty and whistfulness.

I also appreciate the repetition of "dogwood tree." Repetition can serve as a powerful poetic tool that is often overlooked. In every stanza "dogwood tree" is repeated at the end; yet it is delightful because in various stanzas this repetition falls in a different context and each time the words are repeated and there is a slightly different feeling or meaning to the words.

It seems that this is basically free verse; but it is very effective.

Again, thanks for sharing. I don't throw out compliments lightly: this is a very beautiful and wonderful piece.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much for your comments, they are most appreciated as I was quite happy with this poem and how it came out. The repetition, as it is used hear can be tricky to handle without seeming redundant, so I am glad I was able to pull it off.

This style is a traditional Middle Eastern form known as a Ghazal

[Il Dante]

This style is a traditional Middle Eastern form known as a Ghazal

Whoops! I was wrong. There's a first time for everything.:smilewinkgrin: :eek:

[hack]

This is beautiful DM. I read it aloud several times.
I love the repeated phrase. It works so well here.
...peace...

[blazeofglory]

Under the Dogwood Tree

White petals fall as spring snow neath the dogwood tree
the taste of your lips lingers still neath the dogwood tree

Intoxicating aromas of tender blossoms carry me away
to drift to sleep dreamily neath the dogwood tree

Watching lazily in the breeze lithe limbs begin to sway
I inhale the memory of your arms and legs neath the dogwood tree

If only a moment would never fade and could forever stay
instead of blowing in the wind as so many petals neath the dogwood tree

Delicately the shade melts into the warmth of sun in May
while basking under the daytime stars neath the dogwood tree

On a bed of fallen flowers in my arms you once lay neath the dogwood tree
now it is alone I doze in half-regrets and half-content neath the dogwood tree.

Everybody fantasizes this state of ecstasy in love. So enigmatic and Dark Muse I find your poems of love as fascinating as Rumi's and seem to flow from the depths of your heart. Full of great imagination.
'
This is the love we all lovers want to have but the world is too ugly for such aspirants.

I commend your craft of versification

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[hillwalker]

The words 'sensual' and 'moving' could have been invented for this poem - a beautiful piece that gently leads the reader into another world of love and longing.

Perfectly crafted DM.

[blank|verse]

A (surprisingly?) sweet poem for you Muse, that aches with yearning! There's a strong suggestion of Shakespeare's / Hardy's 'Under the Greenwood Tree' in the title, and a hint of Keats in the 'intoxicating' lines.

Because it's in a set form, I would have liked the lines to flow more freely and the stresses to be more regular to convey what you're saying more convincingly, and for me, some of the sentiments stray a bit close to cliches, but overall it's a nice piece and it's good that you're challenging yourself as a writer to write in different forms.

[anzki4]

Blazeofglory basically said it all(, expect I´ve never read Rumi.) Very beautiful indeed. Keep up the good work.