Leera
04-18-2010, 08:12 PM
I can still remember. The smell of her perfume, the gentle touch of her fingers. The soft sound of her voice as she told me how she loved me. The tender look in her eyes, the loving, caring way her eyes carried themselves as she look at me; only me, never the same glint when she looked at anyone else.
I still remember, the way my brain fogged itself as I let her enter the inner reach of my brain.
The way her face, her smell, her touch, occupied every reach of my mind.
Love. That’s what I felt. That’s all I knew when I looked upon her. That’s all I felt as her smile warmed me. That’s all I felt when the gentle touch of her fingers woke me from a daydream.
I remember the goose bumps that appeared as she whispered in my ear, the way my body rose as the warmth of her breath touched my skin.
I still remember, as if it was yesterday. It almost feels like it was.
But I know it’s been longer. Way longer. A lifetime ago.
Now, I reprimand myself if I only dare think of any of that. Now, there is no love, there is no yearning, no longing when I think of her. I still see her face, beautiful, flawless, perfectly in my mind. But there is no love. No fondness, even. It all went away. In one day, it all went away.
A wise man once said; “Love, so strong a bond, yet so easily turned to hatred.”
That’s what I feel. Hate.
No, not a strong enough word. Hate doesn’t even start to cover it. I despise her. I wish her pain. I want her to burn alive in lakes of fire. I want her beautiful skin to wither before her eyes, I want her pretty eyes to pop out of her head, and I want that soft voice of hers to crumble to dust.
Why?
Because she deserves it.
Men are fools, or so I tell myself. Constantly. Perhaps it’s the only way I keep myself up and going. We are fools.
If we were not, we would not so easily fall into the traps that women lay for us. The bait us, they manipulate us, knowingly leading us where they want us. And when they have… Snap! They shut the trap, closing us where they want us to be, knowing there is no way we can struggle our way free, no way our superior strength will ever help us. And then they watch.
Watch, and plan, trying to figure out where they want us next. Looking into our eyes, smiling, knowing there is nothing we can do to prevent it. And so I reprimand myself every day, knowing that I foolishly walked into her trap, pathetically let the trap close around me.
I still remember, the way my brain fogged itself as I let her enter the inner reach of my brain.
The way her face, her smell, her touch, occupied every reach of my mind.
Love. That’s what I felt. That’s all I knew when I looked upon her. That’s all I felt as her smile warmed me. That’s all I felt when the gentle touch of her fingers woke me from a daydream.
I remember the goose bumps that appeared as she whispered in my ear, the way my body rose as the warmth of her breath touched my skin.
I still remember, as if it was yesterday. It almost feels like it was.
But I know it’s been longer. Way longer. A lifetime ago.
Now, I reprimand myself if I only dare think of any of that. Now, there is no love, there is no yearning, no longing when I think of her. I still see her face, beautiful, flawless, perfectly in my mind. But there is no love. No fondness, even. It all went away. In one day, it all went away.
A wise man once said; “Love, so strong a bond, yet so easily turned to hatred.”
That’s what I feel. Hate.
No, not a strong enough word. Hate doesn’t even start to cover it. I despise her. I wish her pain. I want her to burn alive in lakes of fire. I want her beautiful skin to wither before her eyes, I want her pretty eyes to pop out of her head, and I want that soft voice of hers to crumble to dust.
Why?
Because she deserves it.
Men are fools, or so I tell myself. Constantly. Perhaps it’s the only way I keep myself up and going. We are fools.
If we were not, we would not so easily fall into the traps that women lay for us. The bait us, they manipulate us, knowingly leading us where they want us. And when they have… Snap! They shut the trap, closing us where they want us to be, knowing there is no way we can struggle our way free, no way our superior strength will ever help us. And then they watch.
Watch, and plan, trying to figure out where they want us next. Looking into our eyes, smiling, knowing there is nothing we can do to prevent it. And so I reprimand myself every day, knowing that I foolishly walked into her trap, pathetically let the trap close around me.