The Mechanic

[Hawkman]

Bert,
his fingernails,
blacker than Satan’s soul,
his face, cratered like a celestial tomb,
he swears every other effing word;
it’s enough to make a maiden swoon.

Unlovely, inarticulate and rough,
when bending over, gives a partial moon.
His calendar shows bad girls in the buff,
and he whistles far too often out of tune.

He looks upon your problem, sucks his teeth,
you just know that what he’ll say is going to hurt,
you also know you have to trust his judgement,
for without his skill the bloody car won’t work.

[dizzydoll]

What can I say.. you've got the look. lol. As always I love your poetry. :coolgleamA:

[free]

At first, I thought I was going to read a kind of social poem, something like seeing beauty in ugliness. But then (I was glad!) the poem turned into a humorous conclusion of how important this unattractive guy was for all those attractive ones. Great!

[blazeofglory]

This poem has a beauty, and the beauty of it is to shock us with penetration.

[Hawkman]

diz, free and blaze,

thank you all for your comments.

free, for me ugliness is always ugliness, so I tend not to see beauty in it, but I can be fascinated by it... ;)

I once read an SF story in which the human race had been enslaved and made into pets by super powerful aliens. The aliens delighted in easthetic pleasures and kept the humans on a mental 'leash'. Eventually the Humans were able to free themselves from bondage by concentrating on ugliness, which so repelled the aliens that they all went away... I think the book may have been called something like, "A dog's Life." I can't remember who wrote it though.

Anyway, I'm happy to have entertained you all.

Regards, H

[lallison]

Applause, applause, applause! This one's great, and I related to it in an way you will never truly know, (or apparently you already do). Keep 'em coming!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Don't know how I missed this earlier but it's got your usual deft touch!

[Bar22do]

I must have a sense of distortion.... for reading this image imposed itself to me - I saw car wash brushes by a petrol station, unlovely, frightening for sure but efficient and that wouldn't miss a spot, "whistling out of tune" as they run and wash one's car pitilessly! not a human creature at all!
I enjoyed it so much that even if I missed the meaning completely I leave your thread sated!
Thanks! and my usual warm regards - Bar

[Buh4Bee]

cute poem

[Hawkman]

lallison, Prince, Thank you both for your kind words and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Bar, Thanks to you too. I'm convined you have a much more creative imagination than I have... However, I'm happy to have provided something for your delectation and left you replete with images!

Actually my wretched car broke down on Thursday, left me stranded in the middle of the road, on the entrance to a roundabout. The clutch slave cylinder failed and squirted hydraulic fluid all over the road leaving me unable to change gear. I was on my way to take my octogenarian father shopping. But I had to postpone the trip until I had managed to swap the faulty part out. It was supposed to arrive at 09:30 on Friday but I didn't get it until 11:00. This left me with a mad rush, grovelling under the beast with fluid dripping all over me, to get it done in time to replenish my father's exhausted food supply!

I did my own share of swearing on this occasion...

I take it as Gia's judgement on me for driving a 4X4 :)

Thanks jersea...

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

Your best one so far. Not only do you seem more comfortable with contemporary speech, you've dropped the abstractions in favor of specific images and descriptions the reader can see, hear, and uh, maybe smell. Written with wit(esp. in the line referring to the mechanic's salty language), and in the case where the speaker recognizes he has to resign himself to the mechanic's area of expertise, wisdom.

[Hawkman]

Thanks Auntie. The only problem I really have with this poem is the use of moon twice. Although the meanings are different I really hate repeating (principal) words, especially where the rhyming scheme makes them significant. Partial moon for 'builders bum' (sorry not tramp but the English colloquial for rear end) and of course the cratered aspect of our satellite. I did consider: "His face, cratered like a celestial tomb"
but I'm not convinced it is evocative enough to convey the intended image.
What do you think?

Thanks - H

[AuntShecky]

Hawkman, the words "moon" and "face" are seen togethermore often than Harold and Kumar or-- for more, uh, seasoned LitNutters--Laurel and Hardy. Same with "moon" and "crater." So if you really want to change one of the images, that's the one to go with.

[Hawkman]

Thanks Auntie.