Eric McDavid

[Revolte]

Beneath her masked veil
Lied the F.B.I. Badge;
That imprisoned St. Eric,
While Anna just laughed

“You shouldn't conspire
Against the police state,
It's bad for your health
But hey, it's too late.”

Windowless rooms
Do not shed his pride;
They only inspire
The destruction of lies.

How long now St. Eric,
Must this trial go on?
Whatever the answer,
Keep brave and keep strong.

[stephanson]

i really like that, im not to good with rhyming and i really enjoy and acknowledge rhyming poetry.

[Revolte]

i really like that, im not to good with rhyming and i really enjoy and acknowledge rhyming poetry.

Thanks. To be honest I wish I could branch out from ryhme but I have huge trouble with it. I have a poem I'm working on that has no, well little, ryhme in it but before I post it I want to try and better it up a bit.

[stephanson]

Thanks. To be honest I wish I could branch out from ryhme but I have huge trouble with it. I have a poem I'm working on that has no, well little, ryhme in it but before I post it I want to try and better it up a bit.

im looking forward to reading it, see im the opposite it takes me so long to rhyme. i find it so much easier in forms such as dramatic monolouge.

[Hawkman]

Hi Revolte.

I like the poem as a poem. It reads well and is perfectly paced. However I know nothing of the subject of the poem so, asuming this is about a real person, I don't know whether to sympathise with the sentiments the poem expresses or not. For all I know I might be glad he's off the streets!

But I like this verse in particular:

"Windowless rooms
Do not shed his pride;
They only inspire
The destruction of lies."

Which is a sentiment anyone can relate to.

Thanks for sharing - H

[Revolte]

Hi Revolte.

I like the poem as a poem. It reads well and is perfectly paced. However I know nothing of the subject of the poem so, asuming this is about a real person, I don't know whether to sympathise with the sentiments the poem expresses or not. For all I know I might be glad he's off the streets!

But I like this verse in particular:

"Windowless rooms
Do not shed his pride;
They only inspire
The destruction of lies."

Which is a sentiment anyone can relate to.

Thanks for sharing - H


I don't think I can give the information about him here, and you probably would be glad he is off the streets, he was fairly radical lol but my respect go's out to him either way. I will send you a link to his support site.

[lallison]

I'm with hawk, this is a moving poem about someone who appears to be the Robin Hood type, but who I've never heard of. Anyhow, nice work in pulling off the rhyme and getting your feelings across. The poem does nice work of depicting him as a fighter for a cause one could believe in.

[dizzydoll]

Thanks. To be honest I wish I could branch out from ryhme but I have huge trouble with it. I have a poem I'm working on that has no, well little, ryhme in it but before I post it I want to try and better it up a bit.

Good job Revolte. I think ryhme is perfect for poetry. I've had others look at the 'poems' posted here and they agree with me too. If your effort finds its mark on the souls of others thats all that counts. :thumbsup: