Sins of Man

[nipper]

All we on this earth sin.
It tells our lord what state we are in.
We covet te wives of our neighbor.
We steal each breath that we savor.
We lie to cover our own wrongs.
We each even have our own set of gods.
So is repentence the only way?
I don't know, but who is to say?

[Revolte]

I like how you sort of put breathing as a gluttonous act.

[Hayseed Huck]

Nipper,

All we on this earth sin.
**
This makes sense only if you
give the claim some life.

To state the obvious is not to write
poetry-- I say accepting your claim
that we all sin. I assume you are
writing this for those of a like mind--

and they already know that.

They know it already.
They already know.
They agree.

Why tell them what they already have
internalized?

This is not to sound wise. Profound.

Yikes!

I have not sinned, ever. Sin is a controlling
concept. I say as the tent-maker said. "If
I am flawed, what then? did the hand of the
potter shake?"

Thanks Omar Fitzgerald.
**
It tells our lord what state we are in.
**
the 'lord' needs no evidence
**
We covet the wives of our neighbor.
**
This says our neighbor has more than
one wife-- 'wives of our neighbor.'

If he has more than customary, maybe I
can have one.
**
We steal each breath that we savor.
We lie to cover our own wrongs.
We each even have our own set of gods.
So is repentence the only way?
I don't know, but who is to say?
**
The last line is a good example of
erotema.

Please write a poem about an ordinary
bicycle, no message, no truth, no
eternal damnation-- just a red-head girl
riding her bicycle to the store for grand-
mother.

HH

[OctopusGarden]

Nipper,

All we on this earth sin.
**
This makes sense only if you
give the claim some life.

..........

Please write a poem about an ordinary
bicycle, no message, no truth, no
eternal damnation-- just a red-head girl
riding her bicycle to the store for grand-
mother.

HH

From reading your posts, youre all about the hidden messages, but HH, you gotta remember that just because what you think poetry is doesn't mean everyone thinks the same thing. I don't mind being told something I already know as long it works with the poem. Red headed girls are nice, but concrete ideas are nice too.

[Hayseed Huck]

Dear pal octopus,

There are no, zero, concrete images
in nipper's poem.

HH

[OctopusGarden]

Dear pal octopus,

There are no, zero, concrete images
in nipper's poem.

HH


but concrete ideas are nice too.

thats what i said

[Hayseed Huck]

Oh,

my mistake.

Carry on and be nice.

HH

[blazeofglory]

All we on this earth sin.
It tells our lord what state we are in.
We covet te wives of our neighbor.
We steal each breath that we savor.
We lie to cover our own wrongs.
We each even have our own set of gods.
So is repentence the only way?
I don't know, but who is to say?

Truth is really emphatically pronounced that we all are smeared with the original sin and nothing can cleanse us of it

[Bar22do]

nipper: why assume we all sin? what is sin anyway? are we really born cursed and fallible? where then would fit the idea we're in the image of god? why would a god made us wrong... etc... the emotion I detect (though of course I may be wrong) behind your words is a fear of getting lost in constant distrust... how about looking for wholeness and thus attract it and seek inner peace which hallows our lives? best regards to you - Bar

[Buh4Bee]

I think the poem takes a very heavy topic and tries make some pragmatic sense out of life.