Hayseed Huck
04-15-2010, 11:37 AM
So ...
I had thirty minutes.
Thirty minutes to convince Delbert Hathaway, head of
Belmont Pictures to finance my new movie. He sat back
from his desk and looked out the window.
Mr Hathaway, my Dripping With Fake Blood may be
seen as a blend of gaillo/slasher hybrid body parts with
a dreadful B-movie script and zero believability.
True.
Some may place it somewhere between camp and outright
garbage, but listen. The picture has all the standard
European trash cachet (e.g. retro fashions, synth-pop
sound-track, forest animals, bondage gadgets, attractive
women, a surprising clean print, and a pervasive, cool
chauvenistic undertone.
The girls are quite hot, really, and genre fans will
recognize the lead - Poonella O. Pavelloi, from her role
in the Emanuelle clone Sister Prickster.
Expect about five topless scenes, five gory kills and
endless drafts of Poonella playing the role of Larissa
laughing at the cries and moans of eight taken girls
chained to tables underground the castle.
Then Larissa herself is grabbed and dragged screaming
down another flight of stones steps down to the tomb
floor which is covered with two inches of water--
only to find out her fear is unfounded.
The dragger is only Acendio, Larissa's brother, play-
acting, dressed in a monster get-up, returned from two
years in America. Acendio wants to resume their incestu-
ous affair (like the Usher twins in Poe's story).
Acendio then makes a grab at Larissa's left breast. Lar-
risa is ok with that, but first, as Acendio is sloshing
around in the flooded basement water to get into posi-
tion to yank Larissa's peasant blouse down, Larissa asks
him if he has any ideas how to stop the tombs from flood-
ing everytime it rains (comic relief) and how to solve
the problem of the castle's overflowing septic tanks and
the general lack of sanitation.
Mr. Hathaway, here is an bit of dialog I think you'll
like.
Larissa-- This is Antonio - our gardener,
tennis ace, and I own the best piece of
property in all Los Olvidos. That's not
all! As a lover, he's fantastic. Antonio -
am I wrong or right?
Antonio-- If you'd really want to see, try
me again, and you're not bad yourself. Why
don't we go inside?
Larissa-- Beautiful.
Then Acendia shows up.
**
Dear readers here-- would you finance the movie?
HH
I had thirty minutes.
Thirty minutes to convince Delbert Hathaway, head of
Belmont Pictures to finance my new movie. He sat back
from his desk and looked out the window.
Mr Hathaway, my Dripping With Fake Blood may be
seen as a blend of gaillo/slasher hybrid body parts with
a dreadful B-movie script and zero believability.
True.
Some may place it somewhere between camp and outright
garbage, but listen. The picture has all the standard
European trash cachet (e.g. retro fashions, synth-pop
sound-track, forest animals, bondage gadgets, attractive
women, a surprising clean print, and a pervasive, cool
chauvenistic undertone.
The girls are quite hot, really, and genre fans will
recognize the lead - Poonella O. Pavelloi, from her role
in the Emanuelle clone Sister Prickster.
Expect about five topless scenes, five gory kills and
endless drafts of Poonella playing the role of Larissa
laughing at the cries and moans of eight taken girls
chained to tables underground the castle.
Then Larissa herself is grabbed and dragged screaming
down another flight of stones steps down to the tomb
floor which is covered with two inches of water--
only to find out her fear is unfounded.
The dragger is only Acendio, Larissa's brother, play-
acting, dressed in a monster get-up, returned from two
years in America. Acendio wants to resume their incestu-
ous affair (like the Usher twins in Poe's story).
Acendio then makes a grab at Larissa's left breast. Lar-
risa is ok with that, but first, as Acendio is sloshing
around in the flooded basement water to get into posi-
tion to yank Larissa's peasant blouse down, Larissa asks
him if he has any ideas how to stop the tombs from flood-
ing everytime it rains (comic relief) and how to solve
the problem of the castle's overflowing septic tanks and
the general lack of sanitation.
Mr. Hathaway, here is an bit of dialog I think you'll
like.
Larissa-- This is Antonio - our gardener,
tennis ace, and I own the best piece of
property in all Los Olvidos. That's not
all! As a lover, he's fantastic. Antonio -
am I wrong or right?
Antonio-- If you'd really want to see, try
me again, and you're not bad yourself. Why
don't we go inside?
Larissa-- Beautiful.
Then Acendia shows up.
**
Dear readers here-- would you finance the movie?
HH