The Helpless Hopefulness

[TheContemplator]

I'm still here - gazing at the rain
With eyes half closed and hesitating.
They are roving, hoping, but ... in vain.
It's been long since I've been here, waiting.

Wondering why the breeze no
longer brings its morning greeting
Nor does the owlet sing its good night song.
The waves no longer laugh at their meeting.
Indeed, it seems it's been a way too long.

But I am here, longingly awaiting.
While the Moon's eternal kingdom slowly reappears
Bringing cold and darkness, and consciously frustrating
The Sun, whose brightness sadly disappears.

Silver beams are drawing their saddest painting.
It's been long, but I'll be here, waiting ...

[dizzydoll]

I think this is too beautiful. Very expressive. :wink5:

[Hawkman]

I too think that this is a fabulous poem. It really conveys a sense of solitude and loneliness, bordering on bereavement, but the language is truly beautiful, but so sad.

Thanks for sharing. H

[Hayseed Huck]

Oh I weary,

Here's a poet striving for beauty and doing
his best to defeat it.

Every line bounds about in cliche.

Beauty demands fresh, original imagery.

I tire reading this.

I know you will say, "Don't read it then."

Ok-- but I owe you a little more than
a dismissal.

Cliche--
eyes half closed,
roving
hoping
waiting
wondering
bring morning greetings (Yikes!)
owlet singing goodnight
waves don't laugh anymore
(did they ever?)
longingly waiting
Moon's eternal kingdom (huh?)
cold and darkness
brightness sadly disappears
silver beams
sad

Sorry,

The poem did not work for me.

HH

[lallison]

This is a nice poem. I really love the last two lines. Thanks.

[TheContemplator]

This is the first poem I ever wrote, so I am pretty thankful for your replies. They all make me want to really go on and do something better next time.

Thanks a lot.

[dizzydoll]

If thats your first, the sky's the limit. :smile5: I look forward to more.

[free]

Your poem The Helpless Hopefulness is full of vigour. Although it echoes with melancholy expressed through the pictures of nature and its personified motions and appearances, it shows that you don't really mind, because it still retains its endless beauty and power to participate in and share human's emotions. I really like it.

[blazeofglory]

I'm still here - gazing at the rain
With eyes half closed and hesitating.
They are roving, hoping, but ... in vain.
It's been long since I've been here, waiting.

Wondering why the breeze no
longer brings its morning greeting
Nor does the owlet sing its good night song.
The waves no longer laugh at their meeting.
Indeed, it seems it's been a way too long.

But I am here, longingly awaiting.
While the Moon's eternal kingdom slowly reappears
Bringing cold and darkness, and consciously frustrating
The Sun, whose brightness sadly disappears.

Silver beams are drawing their saddest painting.
It's been long, but I'll be here, waiting ...

I love this poem. Of course there is an air of pessimism and the poet has perfected the art of expressing it. What I like most of this poem is when......While the Moon's eternal kingdom slowly reappears.

The craft of writing a poem and startling the reader is really manifest here. I expect more and more such beautiful poems -to entertain us with an air of beauty.

[tailor STATELY]

"Silver beams are drawing their saddest painting.
It's been long, but I'll be here, waiting ..."

Very moving.

Waiting for more.