Tokay Gecko
04-15-2010, 06:02 AM
I know it's a bit long for a short story, but I would greatly appreciate any feedback for those of you courageous enough to read it (I think it'll hold your intrest once the story gets rolling). I put a great deal of effort into it, and I hope to continue doing so as I find ways to further improve my writing. Thanks!
Lucidity
Cobbled roads lined with the glow of the sun reached toward the mountains that overlooked the town in which we complacently resided. Lack of sleep dulled my ability to appreciate the scent of the plants bursting to life in the warm spring air. With eyes half closed I trudged onward toward the shopping district.
Turning off the main road, I headed down a narrow alley with blue tarps strung up a couple stories off the ground to create patches of shade. The shade offered a much needed break from the heat which came quite intensely during midday when the alley was packed with shoppers and loiterers and kids with bad intentions, but my weary mind seemed unable of comprehending the refreshing temperature change as I wove through the fellow citizens on my way to our designated meeting spot.
A dark cloth hung over the wood-framed doorway through which I intended to pass. I pushed it aside somewhat violently due to my ever-degrading mood, which I regretted soon after as the cloth exacted its revenge by coughing up a thick cloud of dust. I must have appeared as quite a sight to my friend who was standing on the far side of the room who just stared at me as I stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the outside light, with a blank expression on my face.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” he said after a while with a smile; clearly amused at the fact that I wasn’t feeling well.
“I’m tired” I said in an irritated voice while simultaneously morphing my blank face into something a bit more human. Hanging out with my friends always helped alleviate the pain of my recently acquired insomnia, no matter how big of an *** they were to me about it. That’s just how we express our friendship, I guess…
“Yeah well so am I. I haven’t slept in three friggen days, but you don’t hear me complaining about it!” he snapped at me maliciously, his smile growing bigger. I was about to point out that I wasn’t complaining, rather simply answering his question, but I found this to be a futile attempt and it would be better to preserve my dwindling energy for something that wasn’t so pointless.
We wandered out another door that led to a courtyard covered by another tarp--this time much larger than the ones in the alley--and orange in color, which emitted an oddly relaxing hue as the intrepid little light particles fought to make their way to our side of the world. There weren’t many people in this courtyard, which was one of the reasons it was chosen as our destination. We preferred to look over wares that haven’t been rummaged through extensively by other patrons. Some wooden tables lined the walls of the yard; some of which reached around corners that fed into the various tunnel-like alleys connected to here. On display were many novelties. Toys and pictures and books and the like crowded the tabletops.
Off in one of the depressingly lit corners we saw some new merchandise which naturally drew our attention. I picked up a little toy machinegun which was promptly armed and fired at my friend; a grin upon my face. The gun didn’t shoot any actual projectiles, but instead made a series of quick popping noises as its inner parts spun upon my request at the pull of its little plastic trigger. The popping shattered the silence that previously occupied the courtyard, drawing the attention of the five or six other shoppers. They sent out looks of disapproval, of course, which only further fueled our antics. My friend responded to my attack by flailing and waving his lanky arms through the air in a dramatic display of imaginary pain. This was how we passed the time in this boring town; the town of which I have lived in for 24 years and have not once journeyed forth from; the town of Barrowdome.
We accumulated some bought trinkets in a couple paper bags and continued down one of the alleyways that left the courtyard. My friend stopped to look at some books or something that evoked none of my interest, so I left him in search of a new stall that I recently heard opened up. The further I walked down the alley, the fewer people I encountered, until I was all alone. The alley ended in another dimly lit courtyard. There were tables and displays set up but no merchandise to be found. Something didn’t seem right about this place.
I wandered through a couple smaller alleys, also completely devoid of human life. I had never been to this part of the market, and for good reason, so it seemed. As I walked I passed a dark, eerie passageway which just beckoned for exploration, even though whispers in the back of my mind warned against it. So, ignoring my intuition, as somebody my age does so well, I left the deserted, labyrinthine network of alleys and stepped boldly into the foreboding cave. Utter darkness greeted me. It seemed that all of my senses began to go numb; the effects of my sleep deprivation, undoubtedly. Further into the cave I went; into the complete darkness. The stagnant air began to constrict around me and I suddenly felt unbearably hot. I turned around to exit the cave but found only more darkness. I began to run down the tunnel, the walls seeming to get narrower and narrower with each step taken. My arms began bumping into oddly shaped objects. I realized that these objects were merchandise long abandoned by their sellers and banished to an eternity of nothingness. Why would so many things be left in such a horrible, forgotten place? It must have been ages since somebody last traveled this passageway. The dust lifted from my frantic movements was acrid; unlike any smell I had ever experienced before. A soft object struck my head as I ran, and then another and another. They must have been stuffed animals hung up for display. Everything was closing in; objects were striking my arms and my head which just made my movements even more frantic. My breathing quickened and I became dizzy. Just as I felt sure I was about to pass out and end up as yet another wayward piece in this cave of discarded relics; huddled motionless on the floor as the dust stirred up by my panic gradually lighted onto my pitiful figure; never to see the friendly light of the warm sun or the smell of the blooming plants again; doomed to an eternity of the sleep which I so longed for only moments prior, a blinding swath of light overtook my vision and I fell to my knees. I was now on a small porch framed by slender wooden pillars. On the porch stood my friend. In the distance, the massive domed structure that served as the meeting place for the town officials and researchers loomed ominously.
“Hey” is all I could muster to try to get my friend’s attention, since it seemed he was still unaware of my presence despite my dramatic entry. He turned slowly to face me. Hollow eyes looked back. Now on my feet, I started toward him. I was terribly drowsy, almost as if I were in between the world of sleep and the world of the waking. I noticed my friend’s face was sickly pale, and at that moment he buckled to his knees and slouched forward, a stream of dark red fluid streaming outward and upward from the center of his spine until it came trickling back down to earth. I watched this spectacle for a while, unsure what to make of it. I had never seen anything like this before, nor had I ever heard about anybody who had. A disturbing queasiness overcame me for reasons I could not understand. The red liquid stopped flowing and hung in the air.
“Have you ever seen anything like that before?” A voice chimed delightedly from a short distance away. I remained silent. “No?” it chimed again. “I suppose nobody here would be allowed to see such a thing. Anyways, it’s called blood. Normally when an animal gets injured, it bleeds. Do you ever remember bleeding? Of course not… Well, blood is essential for life. If too much is lost, you cease to exist. Do you know what it means to exist? No, of course you don’t… or do you?”
From behind a tree out in the yard appeared a tall, slim figure. It’s smooth, naked body was silver like mercury and covered in strange, swooping markings that pulsed with light. A massive, grinning maw was struck in his otherwise featureless face… no eyes, no nose, no ears, no hair, no features besides its mouth and its general shape that would denote it as being of some obscure human origin. It moved as though it were made of water.
“Look at this gorgeous tree!” he said as he pressed his chest against the thick bark and stared straight upward into the dappled light and ghostly leaves.
“W-What’s going on?” I managed to stutter. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I just knew it wasn’t good.
The creature’s head turned sharply to face me and his body slid down the tree and then bolted upright in a most peculiar manner. With slow, fluid motions he headed for me. He entered under the patio and stood on the other side of my friend, who had remained motionless for the duration of his presence. The blood, as the creature called it, still hung suspended in the air as though it were a decoration to be displayed from the ceiling of the most elaborate dining hall. The creature outstretched his arm calmly and suddenly all the blood congealed into an orb which hovered a couple inches above his hand, a disturbing grin still splitting his face.
“Humans are so fragile, aren’t they? This one died so easily. It’s sad, really… so unfair, but that’s how it goes!” he said lyrically, and then he devoured the orb of blood with one tremendous lunge of his head, the swooping marks of light glowing vigorously. “Life cannot exist without death. Tell me, how old are you?”
The question shocked me. My friend was laying unconscious on the floor, drained of blood, with an insane creature that just ate his blood looming over him, and he wants to know my age!? What in the hell is going on here? Why do I feel so sick? And so tired… Did that creature say my friend died? The word resounded in my head, and my vision began to fold into blackness. Murmurs reverberated around me and all I could feel was the grasping arm of sleep. Died, died, died, die, die, death, death… Suddenly I understood the word. My friend had ceased to exist, just like the creature had talked about earlier. Existence?
An emotion overtook me that I had never felt before. A searing hot pain shot through my hands as blood trickled out of the wounds caused by my fingernails piercing my skin inside clenched fists. I gritted my teeth. I felt anger -- intense anger. I had never seen blood before until this day; now it was coming from me!?
“Ah! Yes! Rage! I killed your friend! You will never see him again, and it’s all my doing! Do you remember what rage is? It’s so wonderful! Human emotions are so vivid, so… lucid!”
I did remember what rage was. I remembered many thing about intense anger and death. My vision began to return from darkness and I found my footing. I let the rage overtake my body; I did not oppose it, I did not want to. I lunged at the creature with a guttural yell. His horrible grin would be destroyed and his blood spread across the land.
The air was cut asunder as I swung my fist at the beast. A shockwave burst at the point of impact and splintered the wooden porch supports, but the roof did not fall. Logic seemed lost at this point; time was standing still. I was too overcome with anger and bloodlust to be distracted by anything other than that maddening grin. The beast lurched back from the force of my unnaturally powerful attack, although he would not be phased for long. He sprang back upright and faced me once again. Even though he had no eyes, I could still feel a penetrating glare, a glare of childlike amusement, the kind of sinister look that could only be created by the purest innocence. I swung again, and this time a blade projected violently from the palm of my hand. The creature let out a horrible moan and blood sprayed like a fountain as his torso slid from his legs. Intestines spilled onto the floorboards and leaked out onto the lawn.
I stood over the severed corpse, panting, covered in blood, and stared. A new smell filled the air -- the smell of blood. After an immeasurable amount of time, I noticed that my hand was resting on something. I gazed down to find the long blade which aided me in my battle still jutting from my palm and that it had ground itself into the wooden floor. I yanked it out and looked at it in awe. None of this made sense. The blade did not look to be made of metal, but instead from some sort of organic matter, like the wood of a tree, only with veins or something of the like running through it. Where in the world did this thing come from? Now that the creature was dead, my rage began to turn into intense confusion. The blade suddenly slid back down into my palm--causing me to recoil in surprise and mild revolt--and was no more. I turned in circles and gawked at everything. What just happened? What should I do?
A bubbling noise awoke me from my stupor as, to my terror, columns composed of the beast’s corpse slithered up in a manner that flooded my head with the likeness of a snake and then burrowed down into the ground until there was nothing left of him. Once again, I was left to my utter confusion. Wait… I just felt fear? And snakes? The columns of flesh looked like snakes? I had never seen a snake before, or even heard of them, yet I for some reason gained knowledge of their existence. Images began to flow into my mind whilst clouds gathered high above my head as though summoned by magic and rain soon descended.
“Yes, you’re an animal. All of your natural instincts are returning. Did you fight me because you wanted revenge for your poor friend or was it because you were afraid I was going to kill you as well? These intense emotions are natural, my friend! Embrace them! Control them! Rage and the urge to fight and defend yourself and your pack of fellow humans is so lovely! Tell me, have you remembered any of the other animals yet? How about the wolves and the gorillas? They behave as you do, friend!” echoed a chilling disembodied voice. “Anyways, as much as I love conversing with others, I’m afraid it’s time I dispatch you.”
The snakes of flesh again appeared, only this time ascending from the earth with violent, writhing twists and converging on a central point. They molded together and pulsed like some sick heart severed from its host. And there stood the creature.
“Why don’t you run now? That would be the smart thing to do!” he said in a condescending manner. Then, with a burst of light, he began to shudder. What appeared to be extra limbs began to sprout from him, and from those sprouted colossal blades of all shapes, dripping with blood and clad with what I recognized to be human skulls. He grew in height and girth. His jaw widened and dropped, revealing long, sharp, blood-bathed teeth. Human bones were strung across his body like some sort of hellish gown. He took a step forward and the ground shook. A sinister red light now poured from the swooping marks across his body. The sky seemed to shatter as he threw his head back and released a shrill scream, sending blood and saliva flying through the air.
I was frozen solid. That scream could nearly kill me alone, so it felt. I continued to stare in disbelief, and then I ran. I ran as a scared animal runs from a predator. Tears flowed from my eyes and obscured my vision. Down the narrow alleys I fled; those dark alleys, so cold under the hot midday sun now masked by thick, aloof clouds. I slipped in puddles and bled profusely, but the pain was deadened my unwavering urge to escape the monster and continue my life. Images of my slaughtered friend invaded my mind. Down one dark alley I ran; down another which was flooded with rainwater; then I turned to enter yet another alley but stopped in my tracks. Hanging between the buildings where figures of people. Hanging by their necks they were; blood dripping down. Rows and rows of them, like festival decorations, down the entire alleyway, eviscerated, limbless, rotting… I fell to the ground and began to weep uncontrollably with my hands covering my head. “Help!” I yelled deliriously, but nobody came. The rain was striking the metal roofs so hard it pained my ears. I just wanted to go back to my normal life. I just wanted to see my friend again.
An explosion rocked the earth and I looked down the alley I had come to witness an entire building toppling over. Through the cloud of dust and debris an object came soaring and landed with a sickening thud beside me. It was my friend’s corpse, mangled and scarred with deep lacerations. Another series of piercing shrieks soon followed; shrieks that almost sounded like a laugh.
I again took to my feet. The alley of the dead was the only way out. I ran with my head down as blood and flesh rained on me from the corpses above. At this point I felt as though I had no soul. I was simply some sort of machine programmed to flee, whether I wanted to or not. Images were still bombarding my ailing psyche. And so I ran. I ran until there was nowhere else to run. All that was in front of me was a glass door, which I flung open so violently that it shattered and sent shards of glass slicing through the soft flesh of my arm. I entered the room, blood streaming from all over my body. I could not run anymore; all I could do was limp and flail until my impending demise. That damn creature. He is playing with me. “Just kill me you damn monster!” I found myself unconsciously yelling. It was all over…
On my knees, in a pool of my own blood, I waited for death in the middle of that small room. I hated everything. I didn’t want to remember all of those things or to meet that monster. Why is all of this happening? Why me? Why must I die? Suddenly I slammed the ground in a gesture of rage and frustration. The thud on the ground was heavy and broke the floorboard. I sat in silence, staring at the ground until I heard a slight creaking. I looked up and, directly ahead of me, an elaborate wooden double-door inched open. A shaft of light entered the dark room and momentarily blinded me. I lowered my head to recover from the flash, and after a moment or two, I raised my head again to see what lie behind the door. I saw clouds; giant, billowing clouds, the remnants of the drumming rain. Through the clouds shone the sun, so brilliantly and clear, as though it had been reborn, as though nothing stood between it and myself. I slowly rose to my feet and limped out the door. I was now outside on some rocks; I was now at the coast. I knew it was the coast, where the land and the ocean meet. I remembered what the ocean was, even though I had never seen it, even though nobody was allowed here. It was so beautiful with the glare of the sun topping the gently cresting waves that throw their briny waters into the sky in a humbling display of power as they met the rocks with a crash. Down by my feet lie a small pool of water nestled in a bowl carved from the rugged rock. In it was my reflection; a battered, pitiful animal who has lost his soul. Those two eyes looking back were dead and hollow. They were a dull gray, just like everybody else’s eyes in the city of Barrowdome. How disgusting they were. I sent my fist through the reflection, scattering the image in all directions. Again I sat, numb and wallowing in pity. Behind me I could hear the crashing footsteps of the monster drawing closer. I closed my eyes. One last image came to me…
**********************
In the distance grew a mighty forest with trees standing 10 stories tall. The soil was rich with the nutrients of life and plants there flourished, but one plant’s seed was caught by the apathetic winds and carried far away from the fields of life. Cast down in the rubble of a city abandoned by peculiar animals long forgotten by time, the seed found a small patch of coarse, sun-baked soil and took root. It grew with all the strength it could find; roots digging desperately for water and leaves reaching courageously toward the Sun. Unaffected by its poor fortune, it grew; no matter how selfish the soil or how ravenous the insects, it still grew for all it was worth. On a cool spring morning, with light fog in the air, a flower bloomed. It was by no means the most beautiful flower of the land, but it was a flower nonetheless. The flower found a wayward pollen and grew into a fruit. The fruit dried and burst open under a hot day’s sun, releasing tiny airborne seeds into the world. The mother plant bid her children farewell as they were picked up by the apathetic wind, and then she wilted and returned to the earth, her job done. Through the hardships of one plant came new life who would undoubtedly experience their own trials, but one thing always remains between the mother plant and her seeds, and that is the will to live; to grow and thrive against all odds and make their mark on the world they were so suddenly and briefly thrust into. Animals, plants--the world as we know it--all strive for life at whatever cost, whether or not we understand why.
**********************
I stood still, listening to the footsteps coming closer, buildings toppling as the creature sought its prey. The rippling puddle struck by an angry fist eventually calmed and once again an image looked back at me, but this time it was different. The face was fierce and the eyes glowed with a green fire. My eyes were looking back at me with a vivaciously verdant hue, no longer shadowed with ashen gray. The building which I came through to get to the coast exploded with a thunderous din and I turned around to receive my enemy, this time, I also had a grin on my face.
The creature stopped and looked at me, that stupid, toothy smile still on its face. It released a noise which I perceived to be a chuckle, and then it swung one of its arms wildly outward, elongating into a massive, black whip. It sliced through the damp air, close above the ground, releasing a trail of vapor and dust in its wake while on its course to its target. A deafening blast was released when it struck me on my right side, yet I stood steady. I looked over to see the whip suspended in the air only but a foot away from my body. Ripples of green light were coursing out of the portion of whip that should have hit me. The tentacle quivered as it strained to breech the resolute barrier. I decided I have had enough of this nonsense. I extended my arm and struck the whip, severing it from the creatures body with a crackling ripping sound and sending it heaving through the air where it came to rest with a heavy thud, throwing up a cloud of dust. The creature paused and gazed at me; its smile faded from its face for the first time since I encountered it. I drew the bizarre blades out of my hands and lunged. The creature recoiled for a moment and then sent forth one of his huge, blood-covered axes to thwart my advances. The damn foolish thing. With my left blade, I cut clean through the axe, sending it whirling off in two directions. I followed through with the swing, bringing me into a clockwise, midair spin, with my right sword gaining tremendous momentum, until it found the side of his neck and sliced downward and across. Once again, the creature hissed and moaned and fell in two, while blood sprayed forth in unimaginable quantities. The mass of flesh, blades, and bones crumpled to the ground and, after a moment of complete silence, it began to decompose with amazing speed until it had all become one with the earth.
“Ha! That was great fun, friend!” chimed the familiar voice. A silver glob sprang from where the monster had died and took the form of the original creature I first met back on the porch. He was once again wearing a silly grin. “Did you have fun?”
It was then that I realized all of my wounds had healed. I withdrew my swords and walked over to the creature. I did not know why, but the sense of threat had vanished and I did not feel the need to continue the fight. “I think it’s time you told me what the hell is going on here!” I said angrily, staring directly into his once again grinning maw.
“Ah! Not quite, friend, but we shall soon get there. Firstly, let me properly introduce myself. You see, my name is Dome Administrator 519-A. Other people I have met referred to me as the “Nightmare”, but I greatly dislike that name!” His mouth formed a pouty frown, like a child would if caught in the midst of some shameful act. “Was I a little too extravagant? I’m sorry if I was, but please understand that it was necessary. Anyways, I’m sure your head is just about to explode with questions, isn’t it?”
I gazed out toward the city, Barrowdome, which had been my home for 24 years. 24 years I have been here, and not a day I have aged. Never a drought, a famine, an epidemic, or war has touched this land. Only mild and necessary emotions were practiced by the blunted citizens. The central domed building sat in plain view again, far beyond the tall wall that separated the town from the coast which I now found myself standing near. Its smooth, pallid, protective dome gleamed purely in the crisp, new sun. Now, I understood how disgustingly unnatural this place was.
“Why did you kill everybody?” I said solemnly. “You nearly destroyed the city and killed everybody!”
“Oh, don’t be so cruel to me!” he responded, and with that, I was enfolded in a world of white light, the only thing accompanying me was the creature. A few seconds later, the white surroundings burst and I was back on the beach. I looked again at the city; it had been completely restored. The sun was shining brilliantly and I could hear the faint voices of distant citizens, now separated from myself by the wall. Had none of what I experienced actually happened?
“Happy now? I can do anything here! Impressive, is it not? I’m like… a god, as you humans call it! How deliciously absurd the thought is! Although, not everything has remained in tact. Some people come and some people go. Some people will stay here for eternity. Some people I meet die, but you did not, friend! Yes, quite an impressive lucid indeed, you are!”
He said I was a lucid? Even though the images ceased to bombard my mind, I was still so hopelessly confused. “What are you talking about?” is the only response I could devise.
“You haven’t slept in quite a while, have you? Insomnia--the inability to fall asleep and maintain sleep-- it can be quite a burden indeed. I found you because of your insomnia. That’s how I find all of them! Tell me, you must long for sleep, correct?”
He was right. I was extremely sleepy, but now was definitely not the time to be dozing off. Even if I wanted to, I probably couldn’t fall asleep anyways; I hadn’t slept in days.
“Well, I had fun with you, friend! So many lucids I meet prove to be so disappointing… but that’s how it goes, friend! I hope you learned a lot when you were here. That’s my job, after all. Well, I guess you haven’t learned it so much as remembered it. Forgetting things is so tragic. But remember well, friend, for you’ll be needing it where you are going. Now you may fall asleep, friend…” His words began to come out slowly and sadly. “You must sleep if you wish to awaken!”
Darkness closed in on me and a deep sense of relief and comfort grasped at my weary frame. I lethargically laid down on the rocky earth and closed my eyes. The darkness of sleep overtook me.
“Good luck, friend. Don’t forget…” where the final words I heard that odd, childish creature murmur; such a sad, yet friendly, optimistic tone, if such so exists, and then the I was unconscious.
I felt warm and safe as I awoke. Nuzzled in a padded bed, all of my troubles were lost… and then…
“WAKE THE HELL UP!” I heard a voice scream right over me. Startled immensely, I jumped and turned onto my back where I gazed upward at the source of the racket with eyes wide. A silhouette of a head peered over into my resting place, which appeared to be a cubby just big enough to fit one person; padded, and with odd smelling, green gel dripping from the padded walls. Suddenly an arm reached in and yanked me up, shocking me quite effectively out of my daze. I was now standing up in my pod, my waste upward now exposed from above the rim of the bed. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the blinding shaft of light that fell on my immediate surroundings, but when my perception returned, I was lost for words. There stood my friend, ridiculous grin on his face, looking at me, with fierce green eyes. “Mornin’, Sunshine!” he said sarcastically. Other people began to gather around, smiling but remaining silent. They wore strange clothes and carried rifles and other weapons the like I had never seen nor could remember, men and women both. Their eyes, too, were all green. I exited my pod and fell to the ground; my limbs felt like noodles. This prompted a laugh from the onlookers, including, of course, my friend, who helped me back to my feet and smiled. The shaft of warm light was revealed to be coming from the ceiling; a large dome which had since began to crumble. Vines ran through cracks around the circular building, and a ways ahead of me I discovered a ruined section of wall that opened the room to the outside world.
And, so, I ventured my first look into this world which time passed by; this sleeping world, once again awakening; I could feel the breath of the air and the pulse of life flowing through that which could not be constrained by the mere boundaries of time and space and reality; the ethereal entity which all life contains--which contains all life--all bound by shared struggles: blissful elation and heartbreaking agony, painful love and fiery detestation, crippling hunger and binding thirst, cold betrayal and warm companionship, elusive success and crushing failure, the world of sleep and the world of waking … existence. And so to exist along side my companions who would help me in times of need, and be helped all the same; to run among the boundless earth, unrestrained, fighting for that which binds us all, is that which is the past, present, and future so by my simple human mind can comprehend. The meaning of life is to find the meaning of life--so I feel, no matter how wonderfully paradoxical--whether it ever be found or has been present all along. And so I will continue chasing, until the great Earth calls my name, after that which is so beautifully intangible--that which binds us all.
Across the room, through the crumbled wall, among twisted, rusted metal and brick, a small, green figure sat innocently in the lovely midday sun.
Lucidity
Cobbled roads lined with the glow of the sun reached toward the mountains that overlooked the town in which we complacently resided. Lack of sleep dulled my ability to appreciate the scent of the plants bursting to life in the warm spring air. With eyes half closed I trudged onward toward the shopping district.
Turning off the main road, I headed down a narrow alley with blue tarps strung up a couple stories off the ground to create patches of shade. The shade offered a much needed break from the heat which came quite intensely during midday when the alley was packed with shoppers and loiterers and kids with bad intentions, but my weary mind seemed unable of comprehending the refreshing temperature change as I wove through the fellow citizens on my way to our designated meeting spot.
A dark cloth hung over the wood-framed doorway through which I intended to pass. I pushed it aside somewhat violently due to my ever-degrading mood, which I regretted soon after as the cloth exacted its revenge by coughing up a thick cloud of dust. I must have appeared as quite a sight to my friend who was standing on the far side of the room who just stared at me as I stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the outside light, with a blank expression on my face.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” he said after a while with a smile; clearly amused at the fact that I wasn’t feeling well.
“I’m tired” I said in an irritated voice while simultaneously morphing my blank face into something a bit more human. Hanging out with my friends always helped alleviate the pain of my recently acquired insomnia, no matter how big of an *** they were to me about it. That’s just how we express our friendship, I guess…
“Yeah well so am I. I haven’t slept in three friggen days, but you don’t hear me complaining about it!” he snapped at me maliciously, his smile growing bigger. I was about to point out that I wasn’t complaining, rather simply answering his question, but I found this to be a futile attempt and it would be better to preserve my dwindling energy for something that wasn’t so pointless.
We wandered out another door that led to a courtyard covered by another tarp--this time much larger than the ones in the alley--and orange in color, which emitted an oddly relaxing hue as the intrepid little light particles fought to make their way to our side of the world. There weren’t many people in this courtyard, which was one of the reasons it was chosen as our destination. We preferred to look over wares that haven’t been rummaged through extensively by other patrons. Some wooden tables lined the walls of the yard; some of which reached around corners that fed into the various tunnel-like alleys connected to here. On display were many novelties. Toys and pictures and books and the like crowded the tabletops.
Off in one of the depressingly lit corners we saw some new merchandise which naturally drew our attention. I picked up a little toy machinegun which was promptly armed and fired at my friend; a grin upon my face. The gun didn’t shoot any actual projectiles, but instead made a series of quick popping noises as its inner parts spun upon my request at the pull of its little plastic trigger. The popping shattered the silence that previously occupied the courtyard, drawing the attention of the five or six other shoppers. They sent out looks of disapproval, of course, which only further fueled our antics. My friend responded to my attack by flailing and waving his lanky arms through the air in a dramatic display of imaginary pain. This was how we passed the time in this boring town; the town of which I have lived in for 24 years and have not once journeyed forth from; the town of Barrowdome.
We accumulated some bought trinkets in a couple paper bags and continued down one of the alleyways that left the courtyard. My friend stopped to look at some books or something that evoked none of my interest, so I left him in search of a new stall that I recently heard opened up. The further I walked down the alley, the fewer people I encountered, until I was all alone. The alley ended in another dimly lit courtyard. There were tables and displays set up but no merchandise to be found. Something didn’t seem right about this place.
I wandered through a couple smaller alleys, also completely devoid of human life. I had never been to this part of the market, and for good reason, so it seemed. As I walked I passed a dark, eerie passageway which just beckoned for exploration, even though whispers in the back of my mind warned against it. So, ignoring my intuition, as somebody my age does so well, I left the deserted, labyrinthine network of alleys and stepped boldly into the foreboding cave. Utter darkness greeted me. It seemed that all of my senses began to go numb; the effects of my sleep deprivation, undoubtedly. Further into the cave I went; into the complete darkness. The stagnant air began to constrict around me and I suddenly felt unbearably hot. I turned around to exit the cave but found only more darkness. I began to run down the tunnel, the walls seeming to get narrower and narrower with each step taken. My arms began bumping into oddly shaped objects. I realized that these objects were merchandise long abandoned by their sellers and banished to an eternity of nothingness. Why would so many things be left in such a horrible, forgotten place? It must have been ages since somebody last traveled this passageway. The dust lifted from my frantic movements was acrid; unlike any smell I had ever experienced before. A soft object struck my head as I ran, and then another and another. They must have been stuffed animals hung up for display. Everything was closing in; objects were striking my arms and my head which just made my movements even more frantic. My breathing quickened and I became dizzy. Just as I felt sure I was about to pass out and end up as yet another wayward piece in this cave of discarded relics; huddled motionless on the floor as the dust stirred up by my panic gradually lighted onto my pitiful figure; never to see the friendly light of the warm sun or the smell of the blooming plants again; doomed to an eternity of the sleep which I so longed for only moments prior, a blinding swath of light overtook my vision and I fell to my knees. I was now on a small porch framed by slender wooden pillars. On the porch stood my friend. In the distance, the massive domed structure that served as the meeting place for the town officials and researchers loomed ominously.
“Hey” is all I could muster to try to get my friend’s attention, since it seemed he was still unaware of my presence despite my dramatic entry. He turned slowly to face me. Hollow eyes looked back. Now on my feet, I started toward him. I was terribly drowsy, almost as if I were in between the world of sleep and the world of the waking. I noticed my friend’s face was sickly pale, and at that moment he buckled to his knees and slouched forward, a stream of dark red fluid streaming outward and upward from the center of his spine until it came trickling back down to earth. I watched this spectacle for a while, unsure what to make of it. I had never seen anything like this before, nor had I ever heard about anybody who had. A disturbing queasiness overcame me for reasons I could not understand. The red liquid stopped flowing and hung in the air.
“Have you ever seen anything like that before?” A voice chimed delightedly from a short distance away. I remained silent. “No?” it chimed again. “I suppose nobody here would be allowed to see such a thing. Anyways, it’s called blood. Normally when an animal gets injured, it bleeds. Do you ever remember bleeding? Of course not… Well, blood is essential for life. If too much is lost, you cease to exist. Do you know what it means to exist? No, of course you don’t… or do you?”
From behind a tree out in the yard appeared a tall, slim figure. It’s smooth, naked body was silver like mercury and covered in strange, swooping markings that pulsed with light. A massive, grinning maw was struck in his otherwise featureless face… no eyes, no nose, no ears, no hair, no features besides its mouth and its general shape that would denote it as being of some obscure human origin. It moved as though it were made of water.
“Look at this gorgeous tree!” he said as he pressed his chest against the thick bark and stared straight upward into the dappled light and ghostly leaves.
“W-What’s going on?” I managed to stutter. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I just knew it wasn’t good.
The creature’s head turned sharply to face me and his body slid down the tree and then bolted upright in a most peculiar manner. With slow, fluid motions he headed for me. He entered under the patio and stood on the other side of my friend, who had remained motionless for the duration of his presence. The blood, as the creature called it, still hung suspended in the air as though it were a decoration to be displayed from the ceiling of the most elaborate dining hall. The creature outstretched his arm calmly and suddenly all the blood congealed into an orb which hovered a couple inches above his hand, a disturbing grin still splitting his face.
“Humans are so fragile, aren’t they? This one died so easily. It’s sad, really… so unfair, but that’s how it goes!” he said lyrically, and then he devoured the orb of blood with one tremendous lunge of his head, the swooping marks of light glowing vigorously. “Life cannot exist without death. Tell me, how old are you?”
The question shocked me. My friend was laying unconscious on the floor, drained of blood, with an insane creature that just ate his blood looming over him, and he wants to know my age!? What in the hell is going on here? Why do I feel so sick? And so tired… Did that creature say my friend died? The word resounded in my head, and my vision began to fold into blackness. Murmurs reverberated around me and all I could feel was the grasping arm of sleep. Died, died, died, die, die, death, death… Suddenly I understood the word. My friend had ceased to exist, just like the creature had talked about earlier. Existence?
An emotion overtook me that I had never felt before. A searing hot pain shot through my hands as blood trickled out of the wounds caused by my fingernails piercing my skin inside clenched fists. I gritted my teeth. I felt anger -- intense anger. I had never seen blood before until this day; now it was coming from me!?
“Ah! Yes! Rage! I killed your friend! You will never see him again, and it’s all my doing! Do you remember what rage is? It’s so wonderful! Human emotions are so vivid, so… lucid!”
I did remember what rage was. I remembered many thing about intense anger and death. My vision began to return from darkness and I found my footing. I let the rage overtake my body; I did not oppose it, I did not want to. I lunged at the creature with a guttural yell. His horrible grin would be destroyed and his blood spread across the land.
The air was cut asunder as I swung my fist at the beast. A shockwave burst at the point of impact and splintered the wooden porch supports, but the roof did not fall. Logic seemed lost at this point; time was standing still. I was too overcome with anger and bloodlust to be distracted by anything other than that maddening grin. The beast lurched back from the force of my unnaturally powerful attack, although he would not be phased for long. He sprang back upright and faced me once again. Even though he had no eyes, I could still feel a penetrating glare, a glare of childlike amusement, the kind of sinister look that could only be created by the purest innocence. I swung again, and this time a blade projected violently from the palm of my hand. The creature let out a horrible moan and blood sprayed like a fountain as his torso slid from his legs. Intestines spilled onto the floorboards and leaked out onto the lawn.
I stood over the severed corpse, panting, covered in blood, and stared. A new smell filled the air -- the smell of blood. After an immeasurable amount of time, I noticed that my hand was resting on something. I gazed down to find the long blade which aided me in my battle still jutting from my palm and that it had ground itself into the wooden floor. I yanked it out and looked at it in awe. None of this made sense. The blade did not look to be made of metal, but instead from some sort of organic matter, like the wood of a tree, only with veins or something of the like running through it. Where in the world did this thing come from? Now that the creature was dead, my rage began to turn into intense confusion. The blade suddenly slid back down into my palm--causing me to recoil in surprise and mild revolt--and was no more. I turned in circles and gawked at everything. What just happened? What should I do?
A bubbling noise awoke me from my stupor as, to my terror, columns composed of the beast’s corpse slithered up in a manner that flooded my head with the likeness of a snake and then burrowed down into the ground until there was nothing left of him. Once again, I was left to my utter confusion. Wait… I just felt fear? And snakes? The columns of flesh looked like snakes? I had never seen a snake before, or even heard of them, yet I for some reason gained knowledge of their existence. Images began to flow into my mind whilst clouds gathered high above my head as though summoned by magic and rain soon descended.
“Yes, you’re an animal. All of your natural instincts are returning. Did you fight me because you wanted revenge for your poor friend or was it because you were afraid I was going to kill you as well? These intense emotions are natural, my friend! Embrace them! Control them! Rage and the urge to fight and defend yourself and your pack of fellow humans is so lovely! Tell me, have you remembered any of the other animals yet? How about the wolves and the gorillas? They behave as you do, friend!” echoed a chilling disembodied voice. “Anyways, as much as I love conversing with others, I’m afraid it’s time I dispatch you.”
The snakes of flesh again appeared, only this time ascending from the earth with violent, writhing twists and converging on a central point. They molded together and pulsed like some sick heart severed from its host. And there stood the creature.
“Why don’t you run now? That would be the smart thing to do!” he said in a condescending manner. Then, with a burst of light, he began to shudder. What appeared to be extra limbs began to sprout from him, and from those sprouted colossal blades of all shapes, dripping with blood and clad with what I recognized to be human skulls. He grew in height and girth. His jaw widened and dropped, revealing long, sharp, blood-bathed teeth. Human bones were strung across his body like some sort of hellish gown. He took a step forward and the ground shook. A sinister red light now poured from the swooping marks across his body. The sky seemed to shatter as he threw his head back and released a shrill scream, sending blood and saliva flying through the air.
I was frozen solid. That scream could nearly kill me alone, so it felt. I continued to stare in disbelief, and then I ran. I ran as a scared animal runs from a predator. Tears flowed from my eyes and obscured my vision. Down the narrow alleys I fled; those dark alleys, so cold under the hot midday sun now masked by thick, aloof clouds. I slipped in puddles and bled profusely, but the pain was deadened my unwavering urge to escape the monster and continue my life. Images of my slaughtered friend invaded my mind. Down one dark alley I ran; down another which was flooded with rainwater; then I turned to enter yet another alley but stopped in my tracks. Hanging between the buildings where figures of people. Hanging by their necks they were; blood dripping down. Rows and rows of them, like festival decorations, down the entire alleyway, eviscerated, limbless, rotting… I fell to the ground and began to weep uncontrollably with my hands covering my head. “Help!” I yelled deliriously, but nobody came. The rain was striking the metal roofs so hard it pained my ears. I just wanted to go back to my normal life. I just wanted to see my friend again.
An explosion rocked the earth and I looked down the alley I had come to witness an entire building toppling over. Through the cloud of dust and debris an object came soaring and landed with a sickening thud beside me. It was my friend’s corpse, mangled and scarred with deep lacerations. Another series of piercing shrieks soon followed; shrieks that almost sounded like a laugh.
I again took to my feet. The alley of the dead was the only way out. I ran with my head down as blood and flesh rained on me from the corpses above. At this point I felt as though I had no soul. I was simply some sort of machine programmed to flee, whether I wanted to or not. Images were still bombarding my ailing psyche. And so I ran. I ran until there was nowhere else to run. All that was in front of me was a glass door, which I flung open so violently that it shattered and sent shards of glass slicing through the soft flesh of my arm. I entered the room, blood streaming from all over my body. I could not run anymore; all I could do was limp and flail until my impending demise. That damn creature. He is playing with me. “Just kill me you damn monster!” I found myself unconsciously yelling. It was all over…
On my knees, in a pool of my own blood, I waited for death in the middle of that small room. I hated everything. I didn’t want to remember all of those things or to meet that monster. Why is all of this happening? Why me? Why must I die? Suddenly I slammed the ground in a gesture of rage and frustration. The thud on the ground was heavy and broke the floorboard. I sat in silence, staring at the ground until I heard a slight creaking. I looked up and, directly ahead of me, an elaborate wooden double-door inched open. A shaft of light entered the dark room and momentarily blinded me. I lowered my head to recover from the flash, and after a moment or two, I raised my head again to see what lie behind the door. I saw clouds; giant, billowing clouds, the remnants of the drumming rain. Through the clouds shone the sun, so brilliantly and clear, as though it had been reborn, as though nothing stood between it and myself. I slowly rose to my feet and limped out the door. I was now outside on some rocks; I was now at the coast. I knew it was the coast, where the land and the ocean meet. I remembered what the ocean was, even though I had never seen it, even though nobody was allowed here. It was so beautiful with the glare of the sun topping the gently cresting waves that throw their briny waters into the sky in a humbling display of power as they met the rocks with a crash. Down by my feet lie a small pool of water nestled in a bowl carved from the rugged rock. In it was my reflection; a battered, pitiful animal who has lost his soul. Those two eyes looking back were dead and hollow. They were a dull gray, just like everybody else’s eyes in the city of Barrowdome. How disgusting they were. I sent my fist through the reflection, scattering the image in all directions. Again I sat, numb and wallowing in pity. Behind me I could hear the crashing footsteps of the monster drawing closer. I closed my eyes. One last image came to me…
**********************
In the distance grew a mighty forest with trees standing 10 stories tall. The soil was rich with the nutrients of life and plants there flourished, but one plant’s seed was caught by the apathetic winds and carried far away from the fields of life. Cast down in the rubble of a city abandoned by peculiar animals long forgotten by time, the seed found a small patch of coarse, sun-baked soil and took root. It grew with all the strength it could find; roots digging desperately for water and leaves reaching courageously toward the Sun. Unaffected by its poor fortune, it grew; no matter how selfish the soil or how ravenous the insects, it still grew for all it was worth. On a cool spring morning, with light fog in the air, a flower bloomed. It was by no means the most beautiful flower of the land, but it was a flower nonetheless. The flower found a wayward pollen and grew into a fruit. The fruit dried and burst open under a hot day’s sun, releasing tiny airborne seeds into the world. The mother plant bid her children farewell as they were picked up by the apathetic wind, and then she wilted and returned to the earth, her job done. Through the hardships of one plant came new life who would undoubtedly experience their own trials, but one thing always remains between the mother plant and her seeds, and that is the will to live; to grow and thrive against all odds and make their mark on the world they were so suddenly and briefly thrust into. Animals, plants--the world as we know it--all strive for life at whatever cost, whether or not we understand why.
**********************
I stood still, listening to the footsteps coming closer, buildings toppling as the creature sought its prey. The rippling puddle struck by an angry fist eventually calmed and once again an image looked back at me, but this time it was different. The face was fierce and the eyes glowed with a green fire. My eyes were looking back at me with a vivaciously verdant hue, no longer shadowed with ashen gray. The building which I came through to get to the coast exploded with a thunderous din and I turned around to receive my enemy, this time, I also had a grin on my face.
The creature stopped and looked at me, that stupid, toothy smile still on its face. It released a noise which I perceived to be a chuckle, and then it swung one of its arms wildly outward, elongating into a massive, black whip. It sliced through the damp air, close above the ground, releasing a trail of vapor and dust in its wake while on its course to its target. A deafening blast was released when it struck me on my right side, yet I stood steady. I looked over to see the whip suspended in the air only but a foot away from my body. Ripples of green light were coursing out of the portion of whip that should have hit me. The tentacle quivered as it strained to breech the resolute barrier. I decided I have had enough of this nonsense. I extended my arm and struck the whip, severing it from the creatures body with a crackling ripping sound and sending it heaving through the air where it came to rest with a heavy thud, throwing up a cloud of dust. The creature paused and gazed at me; its smile faded from its face for the first time since I encountered it. I drew the bizarre blades out of my hands and lunged. The creature recoiled for a moment and then sent forth one of his huge, blood-covered axes to thwart my advances. The damn foolish thing. With my left blade, I cut clean through the axe, sending it whirling off in two directions. I followed through with the swing, bringing me into a clockwise, midair spin, with my right sword gaining tremendous momentum, until it found the side of his neck and sliced downward and across. Once again, the creature hissed and moaned and fell in two, while blood sprayed forth in unimaginable quantities. The mass of flesh, blades, and bones crumpled to the ground and, after a moment of complete silence, it began to decompose with amazing speed until it had all become one with the earth.
“Ha! That was great fun, friend!” chimed the familiar voice. A silver glob sprang from where the monster had died and took the form of the original creature I first met back on the porch. He was once again wearing a silly grin. “Did you have fun?”
It was then that I realized all of my wounds had healed. I withdrew my swords and walked over to the creature. I did not know why, but the sense of threat had vanished and I did not feel the need to continue the fight. “I think it’s time you told me what the hell is going on here!” I said angrily, staring directly into his once again grinning maw.
“Ah! Not quite, friend, but we shall soon get there. Firstly, let me properly introduce myself. You see, my name is Dome Administrator 519-A. Other people I have met referred to me as the “Nightmare”, but I greatly dislike that name!” His mouth formed a pouty frown, like a child would if caught in the midst of some shameful act. “Was I a little too extravagant? I’m sorry if I was, but please understand that it was necessary. Anyways, I’m sure your head is just about to explode with questions, isn’t it?”
I gazed out toward the city, Barrowdome, which had been my home for 24 years. 24 years I have been here, and not a day I have aged. Never a drought, a famine, an epidemic, or war has touched this land. Only mild and necessary emotions were practiced by the blunted citizens. The central domed building sat in plain view again, far beyond the tall wall that separated the town from the coast which I now found myself standing near. Its smooth, pallid, protective dome gleamed purely in the crisp, new sun. Now, I understood how disgustingly unnatural this place was.
“Why did you kill everybody?” I said solemnly. “You nearly destroyed the city and killed everybody!”
“Oh, don’t be so cruel to me!” he responded, and with that, I was enfolded in a world of white light, the only thing accompanying me was the creature. A few seconds later, the white surroundings burst and I was back on the beach. I looked again at the city; it had been completely restored. The sun was shining brilliantly and I could hear the faint voices of distant citizens, now separated from myself by the wall. Had none of what I experienced actually happened?
“Happy now? I can do anything here! Impressive, is it not? I’m like… a god, as you humans call it! How deliciously absurd the thought is! Although, not everything has remained in tact. Some people come and some people go. Some people will stay here for eternity. Some people I meet die, but you did not, friend! Yes, quite an impressive lucid indeed, you are!”
He said I was a lucid? Even though the images ceased to bombard my mind, I was still so hopelessly confused. “What are you talking about?” is the only response I could devise.
“You haven’t slept in quite a while, have you? Insomnia--the inability to fall asleep and maintain sleep-- it can be quite a burden indeed. I found you because of your insomnia. That’s how I find all of them! Tell me, you must long for sleep, correct?”
He was right. I was extremely sleepy, but now was definitely not the time to be dozing off. Even if I wanted to, I probably couldn’t fall asleep anyways; I hadn’t slept in days.
“Well, I had fun with you, friend! So many lucids I meet prove to be so disappointing… but that’s how it goes, friend! I hope you learned a lot when you were here. That’s my job, after all. Well, I guess you haven’t learned it so much as remembered it. Forgetting things is so tragic. But remember well, friend, for you’ll be needing it where you are going. Now you may fall asleep, friend…” His words began to come out slowly and sadly. “You must sleep if you wish to awaken!”
Darkness closed in on me and a deep sense of relief and comfort grasped at my weary frame. I lethargically laid down on the rocky earth and closed my eyes. The darkness of sleep overtook me.
“Good luck, friend. Don’t forget…” where the final words I heard that odd, childish creature murmur; such a sad, yet friendly, optimistic tone, if such so exists, and then the I was unconscious.
I felt warm and safe as I awoke. Nuzzled in a padded bed, all of my troubles were lost… and then…
“WAKE THE HELL UP!” I heard a voice scream right over me. Startled immensely, I jumped and turned onto my back where I gazed upward at the source of the racket with eyes wide. A silhouette of a head peered over into my resting place, which appeared to be a cubby just big enough to fit one person; padded, and with odd smelling, green gel dripping from the padded walls. Suddenly an arm reached in and yanked me up, shocking me quite effectively out of my daze. I was now standing up in my pod, my waste upward now exposed from above the rim of the bed. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the blinding shaft of light that fell on my immediate surroundings, but when my perception returned, I was lost for words. There stood my friend, ridiculous grin on his face, looking at me, with fierce green eyes. “Mornin’, Sunshine!” he said sarcastically. Other people began to gather around, smiling but remaining silent. They wore strange clothes and carried rifles and other weapons the like I had never seen nor could remember, men and women both. Their eyes, too, were all green. I exited my pod and fell to the ground; my limbs felt like noodles. This prompted a laugh from the onlookers, including, of course, my friend, who helped me back to my feet and smiled. The shaft of warm light was revealed to be coming from the ceiling; a large dome which had since began to crumble. Vines ran through cracks around the circular building, and a ways ahead of me I discovered a ruined section of wall that opened the room to the outside world.
And, so, I ventured my first look into this world which time passed by; this sleeping world, once again awakening; I could feel the breath of the air and the pulse of life flowing through that which could not be constrained by the mere boundaries of time and space and reality; the ethereal entity which all life contains--which contains all life--all bound by shared struggles: blissful elation and heartbreaking agony, painful love and fiery detestation, crippling hunger and binding thirst, cold betrayal and warm companionship, elusive success and crushing failure, the world of sleep and the world of waking … existence. And so to exist along side my companions who would help me in times of need, and be helped all the same; to run among the boundless earth, unrestrained, fighting for that which binds us all, is that which is the past, present, and future so by my simple human mind can comprehend. The meaning of life is to find the meaning of life--so I feel, no matter how wonderfully paradoxical--whether it ever be found or has been present all along. And so I will continue chasing, until the great Earth calls my name, after that which is so beautifully intangible--that which binds us all.
Across the room, through the crumbled wall, among twisted, rusted metal and brick, a small, green figure sat innocently in the lovely midday sun.