stephanson
04-15-2010, 02:30 AM
hi there all, this was my first ever shakesperian sonnet. it was hard to grasp at first but the words just flowed once i was started. i would really appreciate all feedback - negative or positive. thankyou
Like the constant calm summer breeze that flows,
Through your locks of curls. Someone who is fair
And remarkable, the world you don’t owe.
The sun that shines bright on your skin so bare
Ill kiss thy soft lips, tender and glowing.
Your radiance, free
In a state of Elysium, smiling
The good and bad weighed out, like you and me
Your smile like that of a child receiving
Your forgiveness not like that of the flood
Your breath that takes mine, a state of being
Your life be like a blossoming bud
Be forever mine, to the prolonged end
Not only a lover, but a known friend
Like the constant calm summer breeze that flows,
Through your locks of curls. Someone who is fair
And remarkable, the world you don’t owe.
The sun that shines bright on your skin so bare
Ill kiss thy soft lips, tender and glowing.
Your radiance, free
In a state of Elysium, smiling
The good and bad weighed out, like you and me
Your smile like that of a child receiving
Your forgiveness not like that of the flood
Your breath that takes mine, a state of being
Your life be like a blossoming bud
Be forever mine, to the prolonged end
Not only a lover, but a known friend