Fire

[hillwalker]

I love the kiss of kerosene.
I long to trace my tongue across its texture,
test its edge
then tease my lips along its blade
until they blush to red.

I love the feel of paraffin,
its perfume like an after-thought upon my flesh,
embalming me;
my embered heart,
my cindered soul.

But petrol is my one true love.
I phoenix from its fragrance,
in the rapture of its lunge for life,
its scent infusing every molecule until I burst and blaze;
the promise that it threatens with each octane breath,
one spark away from bliss.

[Hayseed Huck]

George Campbell, the eighteenth-century rhetorician,
wondered if we should make great effort to distin-
guish metonymy and synecdoche.

I consider-- " ... phoenix from its fragrance,"
as metonymy,

and a fine one.

Entirely satisfactory.

Good work

HH

[hillwalker]

Thanks for that

I was criticised for my decision to use a noun as a verb (ignorant of the correct term I confess) but felt that a bit of 'poetic licence' never goes amiss.

Again, many thanks for your feedback

H

[Hayseed Huck]

The trope is called anthemeria-- substitution
of part of speech for another.

To object to the practice is to call out
Shakespeare--

A mile before his tent fall down and knee
The way into his mercy-- Coriolanus V, i, 5

HH

[hillwalker]

I bow to your far superior knowledge - and am very keen to learn as much as possible regarding the 'workings' of poetry in order to better appreciate it, and hopefully improve my own scribblings

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's a startling poem in both good and bad ways: bad because if we take it literally, it suggests a dangerous self-destructiveness. Good because it's so fluent and the images are so striking.

[hillwalker]

Like any poem it is open to each individual reader's interpretation.....

I actually wrote it as a 'love' poem from the point of view of 'fire' - a poem where fire describes what it desires the most rather than a more conventionally descriptive poem by someone observing fire from the sidelines.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Like any poem it is open to each individual reader's interpretation.....

I actually wrote it as a 'love' poem from the point of view of 'fire' - a poem where fire describes what it desires the most rather than a more conventionally descriptive poem by someone observing fire from the sidelines.

H

My apologies. I seldom pay more than glancing attention to the title of a poem, though I'm likely to look back at it if I feel I need help interpreting the poem.

Of course this is a very different poem, and perhaps even better than I thought it, if I had perceived the persona of fire as being central to it. Thank you for setting me straight.

[hillwalker]

And thank you for your comments.
Perhaps I should have left you to your ponder some more upon your own reaction before jumping back in - but what I had in mind was obviously quite different, life-affirming rather than self-destructive.

I always like to approach topics from an unexpected direction in order to keep the reader guessing so I'm quite accustomed to alternative interpetations of my poems.

H

[lallison]

This one gave me the shivers. Nicely done! Very vivid and devilishly enticing, a true demonic romance of pyromania.

[blazeofglory]

Fantabulous! What an idea! Something out of the ordinary. You treaded on a virgin domain of thought and this inflames in me a fire that incinerates all my fixed ideas of poetry. We are already fed up with the standard. Why not have a taste of something different hitherto un-tasted. Of course the kiss of kerosene is a more toxicant. We have the kiss of chemicals and that catalyzes the chemistry of live and now why not we try with a different flavor of love, the love of the moderns against the love of the ancients in point of fact

[hillwalker]

Thank you lallison and blaze of glory for your positive feedback

What a coincidence 'blaze' that the poem almost anticipates your user name!!
and we share the same delight in the extraordinary

thanks again

[blank|verse]

Nicely done, hillwalker. I can sense that you've written in metre before. The first stanza in particular is metrically regular - the first line is iambic tetrameter; the second a line of (hendecasyllabic) pentameter; the third (acephalic) dimeter; fourth, tetrameter; fifth, trimeter - so it ends like a ballad.

This might come as a surprise to some people on the forum, but I have to say I'm not sure about your use of rhyme at the end of the first stanza. Because the first stanza has a regular feel (and your repeated use of alliteration strengthens this) it sets up the expectation that the rest of the poem will follow suit; because it doesn't means that the poem loses control. So I think the answer might be to make the first stanza less controlled, which might suit the poem's subject better.

I really like the consonance of the 'kiss of kerosene' but wonder if the poem would be better if it were somehow less directly in the first person (if that makes sense!) - by which I mean removing 'I love' and just describing the 'kiss of kerosene' etc, so you're 'showing' not 'telling', as it were. But there are other nice expressions ('an after-thought upon my skin' - even though I feel the line it's part of is too long - and the 'phoenix' of course).

But overall, it's nicely written and I look forward to more of your writing. Do you read any contemporary Scottish poets like Don Paterson or Robin Robertson?

[hillwalker]

Many thanks BV for your detailed response - I'm still finding my feet as far as poetic structure is concerned (only really started writing last November) - and I find I prefer alliteration and strict beat to rhyme and metre...

As for reading contemporary Scottish poetry - a bit of Norman McCaig - whereas my favourites are Don Paterson and Simon Armitage.

I shall continue to strive to improve and welcome all criticism - good and bad

Thank you

[Hawkman]

I love this poem, it is deftly executed and an intriguing subject; the love of flame for the accelerant. One third of the triangle of fire at least, but we're missing the heat and oxygen.

Thanks, H

[hillwalker]

Hawkman - thanks for your comments, and you know what?
I was wondering whether kerosene to petrol was the correct progression. Perhaps there is room for oxygen to breathe even more life into it.

You've given me food for thought - thank you