Roots of Karma

[dizzydoll]

Good and evil ignite a cause
to effect a balanced tree
karma governs its own laws
just how it has to be

To add fate and destiny
to varied shuffled mix
all in apparent duality
reflects a mystical fix
with paradoxical unity

Threads of choice
sown into bondage
our subtle karmic voice
picks good or evil stage

[Hawkman]

Hi diz,

On the whole I like this, I really like the first stanza.

Technically though, I think you lost your way a bit in the second. There is an imbalance in the rhymes which jars a bit and throws one off for the last stanza, where the metre breaks down.

I would suggest either trimming the fith line in the second verse or adding a sixth conforming to the ab ab rhyme and I'd have a play with the last verse to see if it could be made to flow a little more evenly.

Just a suggestion. Live and be well, H

[dizzydoll]

Thanks for your advice H, you are right I'm sure and so I learn. I will look at it tomorrow again.

[Hayseed Huck]

Dear poetry pal,

Good and evil ignite a cause
to effect a balanced tree
karma governs its own laws
just how it has to be

This is a dictactic poem. No poetry ought
have the function of teaching.

In fact, didactic poetry is a contradictio
in adjecto. That is, the predicate 'poetry'
destroys the subject 'didactic.'

Didactic poetry.

If it teaches, it is not poetry.

Consider-- is it not impossible that a variety
of species should contradict the very purpose
which contradistinguishes its genus? the several
species differ, I admit, partially, but not by the
whole idea which differentiates their class.

Here's the point. if a writer feels a need to teach
or reveal a truth, why encumber herself with the res-
trictions, the fetters (as De Quincey calls it) of
poetry?

Better looser, freeer prose.

HH

[Buh4Bee]

I like the philosophical wisdom this poem has to offer, but it is bumpy reading.

[dizzydoll]

Wow you guys teach so much, thank you for that. :thumbsup: