Lost

[Hawkman]

I have lost my sense of humour,
Though I had it just the other day,
I wonder where I might have left it,
Without it I can’t find my way.

Have you seen my sense of fun,
By the wayside is it lying?
If you see it could you let me know?
Just call me, I’ll come flying.

For without my sense of humour
I’m not half the man I used to be,
The vagaries of life become,
Quite frankly, just too much for me.

My laugh is sadly now a chuckle,
Perhaps a wry and knowing smile;
It’s all the fun that I can manage,
A smirk to cope with life so vile.

[dizzydoll]

Excellent poem altho I must add, as a layman, that the last verse doesnt seem to fit the fun mood of the rest of your poem. Still, I loved it all the same. :thumbsup:

[lallison]

I've got your sense of fun right here, just come out here and I'll give it back to you. Great poem! I wouldn't change a thing, although, I'm not really a rhymie person so can't advise in those sorts of areas. Enjoyed it!

[blank|verse]

I have of late, but wherefore I know not,
lost all my mirth...

Shades of Hamlet to this one (or Withnail and I perhaps??) but it's heartfelt nonetheless. The bounce in the ballad form creates a nice tension with the content.

I do urge you to avoid the syntactical inversions, eg:

By the wayside is it lying?
as they sound rather false and work against the honesty of the poem. Always good reading your poems, though.

[blazeofglory]

It is with you already, that is me. How can you have it alone, someone like me must have a presence? I and you can smile and smile till we completely get intoxicated with humors. But a sense of humor is always a shared passion and you cannot have it alone

This is appealing. I feel we are losing it day by day if not already lost. We must seek but in a fusion of two individuals. Single you cannot laugh

[PrinceMyshkin]

Try feeling around with your tongue in your cheek. You might find your sense of humour lodged somewhere in there.

[Hawkman]

Hi diz, glad you liked it overall but sorry that you felt the last verse less fun than it should be. Sadly, this is because of the reason stated in the preceeding verses! :)

Hi lallison, God how I wish I could just jump on a plane and come and get it! Look after it for me please!

BV, you've changed you avatar again! what gives? As always thanks for your comments and I promise I'll try not to break the rules too often. I have something here for you... Please take it with at least a ton of salt!

The forensic poet

A forensic poet found one day
a cryptic, metaphysical lay,
which he just didn’t understand,
despite the skills at his command.

So with precision he unpicked
until the verse lay strewn in bits
and then rebuilt by his own rules,
conforming to grammarian schools.

Sorry remnant of a former glory,
but no wiser, our poetic Tory,
for still it just did not make sense,
agreeing to his rules so tense.

Instead of reading what it said,
he tried to make it fit his head
according to his preconception;
a pointless act of self-deception.

;)

Blaze, You are much too kind. How does that old ditty go? Cry and the world cries with you, Laugh and you laugh alone? maybe it's the other way round... :)

Hi Prince,

You know, even though I have been a bit busy for the last few days, I have still been trying to write, but I just kept coming up with fragments which were just awful. Today is the first day I've managed to pull anything off. So I guess you're right, it could be lurking here somewhere. I'm just off to find a toothpick...

Thank you all for your comments, Much appreciated.

H

[blank|verse]

Thanks for that Hawkman. I think.

I change my avatar because a) I get bored easily; b) I'm a bit of a techno-dunce, so once I found out how to change the pretty picture, I considered myself on a par with Bill Gates or someone; c) it reflects my fickle nature. That said, I'll try not to do it too often in future. But don't hold your breath.

As for the poem - I'm just a truth-seeker, like many other people I presume, but I don't apologise if my tools are sharper. Don't fall into the trap of thinking anti-intellectualism is a good thing.

And I think I would be more upset about the poem if it scanned properly... :wink5:

But the point about archaic diction and sytax is an important one. No-one speaks like that today, so you immediately sound out of touch. And I consider you a good enough writer to be able to meet the challenge of writing poetry using contemporary language and poetic form (including free verse).

[Bar22do]

Hey Hawkman, weary of traveling, I'm delighted to join the readers of your last poem here! I'll return to it as soon as I have a little more time and when I have settled a bit, but for now - it's written with enough sense of humour to reassure one (and maybe yourself! as well) you're not in danger of losing it at all! best regards - Bar

[Hawkman]

BV, are you really fickle...? I do't beleive you can be that easily bored or you wouldn't read, or bother to comment on, my literary misdemeanours. Always happy to see you drop in.

Bar,
Thanks and I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, welcome back. Now don't go wandering off again; throw out an anchor, or something.

Live and be well,

H

[Hayseed Huck]

Oh my,

That last word 'vile' twisted to
make a rhyme sent shivers through
my left arm.

This is a tossed poem. It laments
but offers no sensory objects (things)
to grip.
***
I have lost my sense of humour,
Though I had it just the other day,
I wonder where I might have left it,
Without it I can’t find my way.
**

Lose it on a bus. At McDonalds. At a bowling alley.

In your wife's underwear drawer. Lose it somewhere.
**

Poetry is things, objects that can be seen. Sight.
Sight Sight. Smell.

My sense of humor
used to smell-up
the garage. Poke
its head out
from the cans
of Texaco 10-30 oil.

Things.
Things.

Objective correlatives.

HH

[Buh4Bee]

Good fun and humor. This is why I love litnet.

[cute angel]

Nice words ,I admire the poem.Humour is very important in our lives.Thanks for sharing.

[Hawkman]

HH

Not entirely sure I concur with your opinions but thanks for your imput.

Jersea and Cute Angel Thanks for your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Live long and prosper - H

[Bar22do]

Bar,
Thanks and I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, welcome back. Now don't go wandering off again; throw out an anchor, or something.

Live and be well,

H

Hawkman, thanks, you're too kind!
Bar