My Lovers Unmet

[Revolte]

( I chose to put the two in the same post because of how I seem to have gone from sad to hopeful )

"My Lovers Unmet"

Walk away, my lovers unmet
Don't fear my response,
It's just part of the trend.
So leave, run from me now
Don't get to know me,
And oppress my heart's vow.






“My Haunted Ruin”

Inside this haunted ruin
That I once called my heart,
Lie a thousand dreams
Of better day to start,

And in that haunted ruin
Destructed by deceit,
Grows a single flower
And one of no defeat.

So curse my haunted ruin
And damn it from remorse,
For I am not yet dead
As I mount my spirits horse

I ride from haunted ruin
To golden fields of hope,
I kneel before the sun rise
And feel my spirit lope.

[Buh4Bee]

Revolte- I have read many of your posted poems, and from what I can remember these two are some of the best.


My Haunted Ruin is well constructed and your poetic sentiment is clearly articulated.

[Revolte]

Revolte- I have read many of your posted poems, and from what I can remember these two are some of the best.


My Haunted Ruin is well constructed and your poetic sentiment is clearly articulated.

Thank you! :D

[Hawkman]

Hi Revolte. These are two good poems but in "My Lovers Unmet" the penultimate line does not reaed well though the sentiment expressed is indeed poetic. might I suggest:

'Don't get to know me,'

"My Haunted Ruin"

S1L3 Should be: 'Lie a thousand dreams'

otherwise, two excellent poems and thanks for sharing. H

[Revolte]

Hi Revolte. These are two good poems but in "My Lovers Unmet" the penultimate line does not reaed well though the sentiment expressed is indeed poetic. might I suggest:

'Don't get to know me,'

"My Haunted Ruin"

S1L3 Should be: 'Lie a thousand dreams'

otherwise, two excellent poems and thanks for sharing. H

thank you. Your very right about lie instead of lay.

I'll switch in Dont get to know me, and see what others think. I was having some trouble with that poem and I wasn't a big fan of using 'Get not' but hey, it got it out of my system lol.