Nimue

[Hawkman]

Here is the place.
Ancient and brooding on her fate,
Knowing only hunger, she endures.

Beneath the surface,
Through sluggish, peaty water,
Gazing at the rippling sky beyond,
The spirit guards the gate.

All about her
Lie the remnants of old gifts,
Their potency devoured
By long corrosive years.

Come to her demesne,
Cast silver on her bed and give her form,
She might yet offer up the sword.
But not to chaff, only to the corn.

Twice given, once lost,
Such would be the gift of kings.
She would not offer it to lesser men.

But she has patience,
The lady of the lake,
She waits.

[Bar22do]

Here is the place.
Ancient and brooding on her fate,
Knowing only hunger, she endures.

Beneath the surface,
Through sluggish, peaty water,
Gazing at the rippling sky beyond,
The spirit guards the gate.

All about her
Lie the remnants of old gifts,
Their potency devoured
By long corrosive years.

Come to her demesne,
Cast silver on her bed and give her form,
She might yet offer up the sword.
But not to chaff, only to the corn.

Twice given, once lost,
Such would be the gift of kings.
She would not offer it to lesser men.

But she has patience,
The lady of the lake,
She waits.

Oh no! Hawkman, I spent quite a while commenting on this and it disappeared!!! that's terrible! :rage: well -

in short, I said that after Sir Walter Scott's, your Lady of the Lake was a "pocket poem" and more focussed on her fallen situation... You are right to warn us about the danger she still is. as she "waits" for an occasion to... even though you seem to plead for some empathy for her... but you know, it doesn't redeem her to have helped Arthur, just think how she tortured this poor Merlin, ah.
I like your imagery, though think you could revise and trim your poem in order to match the level of your others , which means in other words that this one looks to me a bit weaker (but maybe I'm only in a trimming mood or so, in which case, please just ignore me) - B|V might analyse it much much better.

Thanks Hawkman and warm regards - Bar

[Bar22do]

ah, and it looks as if the greatness of your recent Vampire overshadowed the forgotten and worthwhile unearthing Nimue... are you in your Myths period?

best rgds again - bar

[Hawkman]

Hi Bar,

In fact, my Lady long pre-dates the Arthurian legend. I have taken her back to the pre-Christian, bronze age, when water was seen as the gateway to the spirit world. But yet the memory of her endures to the present day.

“Beneath the surface,
Through sluggish, peaty water,
Gazing at the rippling sky beyond,
The spirit guards the gate.”

Here offerings were made in sacred pools to the gods and nymphs which inhabited them. These would have been anything from brooches to swords and armour.

Hence the reference to:

“All about her
Lie the remnants of old gifts,
Their potency devoured
By long corrosive years.”

I don’t know whether there is a similar tradition in your part of the world, but here in Britain we still have, “Wishing Wells” where people throw coins into water for good luck. I know of at least one sinkhole on Dartmoor, under a waterfall, where there is quite a collection of small change.

“Come to her demesne,
Cast silver on her bed and give her form,
She might yet offer up the sword.
But not to chaff, only to the corn.

Twice given, once lost,
Such would be the gift of kings.
She would not offer it to lesser men.”

Obviously the sword in question is Excalibur and the reference to “twice given, once lost” refers to at least one version of the story, in which Arthur breaks Excalibur by trying to use the sword to give him an unfair advantage in a duel with Lancelot. Thus he threw it back into the lake and lo, it was magically restored to him, whole. On his death of course it was cast back into the water.

I think if you were to review my back catalogue you would find several poems which make a sentimental reference to forgotten gods. I am fascinated by Britain’s lost spiritual heritage.

However, the reference you made to the Lady’s darker side is fully justified. Such deities are fickle indeed, for before her imprisonment of Merlin, she was also Lancelot’s foster mother and Lancelot ended up causing no end of trouble for Arthur!
Seriously though, do you still think it should be trimmed in view of what I am trying to convey? I would be interested to read your thoughts on this.

Many thanks - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Rippling through this well-told tale are seldom-heard words, rich enough to feast on, e.g. : peaty...remnants...demesne...chaff..."Twice given, once lost"

A hearty broth!

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince,

Should I then lie soupine under your guiding tutelage? Yes, I know it's a howler, but I couldn't resist it. Thanks,

H

[hack]

I like it a lot. It brings
to mind what seem to be
naturally preserved
human sacrifices in
various bogs in Britain.

[Hawkman]

Hi hack and thanks for dropping in. I'm most gratified that that you enjoyed this poem. Interestingsly, the bog body phenomenon is not confined to the Isles of Britain, they can be found all over this corner of Europe from Scandinavia to Ireland. Many of them seem to be victims of what archiologists refer to as, 'The Threefold Death," the vicims of which are found with ergot in their stomachs, their throats slit and with a halter around their necks.

This all seems excessive for just an execution, so they are interpreted as ritual sacrifices. Ultimately, of course, the circumstances of their demise must be conjectural, this far removed from the actual events. It would seem to be logical though for them to be intermediaries between the corporeal universe and the spirit world. The ergot would probably have them hallucinating and thus in a suitable condition to converse with spirits and to cast them into the waters would have been seen as passing through the door to the sprirt realm. Not sure why they'd cut their throats though and the purpose of the halter escapes me.

Regards,

H

[lallison]

i think this poem is awesome, especially after reading your explanation. I've always been a big fan of the Authurian legends, ever since I saw Excalibur as a kid. It had a similar effect on me as Clash of the Titans did with Greek mythology. I thought the imagery and allusions were nice, and its flowing with submerged meaning (seems like you've been thinking a lot about women lately). The only thing I didn't like about it was its espousing those ideals of chivalry. Although appropriate for this piece, I think they died in World War I or earlier, although I'm certain there are those who disagree with me. Anyhow, of your poems I've read, I like this one best and don't feel it needs trimming.

[paperleaves]

Hawkman, the title caught my eye, so naturally I endeavored to read this fantastic poem--when I get a bit more time I'll come back and bask in all its glory once more and leave you a more worthwhile comment!

Love
Kate

[Hawkman]

lallison, thanks for your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm not sure I understand the remark you make about the poem espousing the ideals of chivalry though. There is, of course, a backhanded reference to the legend of Arthur and the sword Excalibur, though niether is mentioned by name. The implication that one must be worthy of the sword might be construed thus, I suppose, but what was in my mind was innate greatness or qualities of leadership, which I personally do not associate with any romantic chivalric ideal. Still, thanks for your comments and praise of what you liked.

Paper, thanks and I look forward to hearing what else you might have to say.

Regards,

H

[lallison]

After the first time I read this one I was thinking she was giving herself, not just the sword, but, to someone who has proved himself worthy. You will have to forgive me, not being from Briton, for taking a moment to catch onto your lady of the lake metaphor. Speaking of which, I saw some funny things on CNN about Brown's plans to give himself a tough guy image in his campaign by assaulting his opponent at the debate. You think that guy is deserving of the corn or the chaff? I am enjoying your poem even more upon a second reading. Nicely done!

[Hawkman]

Hi lallison,

I am reminded of the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which a bolshy peasant in conversation with King Arthur complains that kingship should be conferred upon an individual through a mandate from the masses and not because, “Some watery tart threw a sword at you.”

Incidentally, the legend of “The Sword in the Stone” would appear to be a residual memory dating from the early Bronze Age. There is archaeological evidence to suggest that stone moulds were used as dies for the casting of bronze swords. The smith who performed this act would probably have been a high status individual, seen to possess arcane lore and power in a society which hitherto only had experience of stone tools.

Thus, drawing forth the sword from the stone would have been seen as an act of mystical significance.

Arthur, is of course, the “Once and future King”, so the implication of the last verse is that the Lady is awaiting his return. No one in their right mind would offer the sword to any contemporary politician…

H

[dizzydoll]

I enjoyed your poem, and especially your explanation of it. :D

[Hawkman]

Happy to oblige.